just concerend

Mandy - posted on 09/02/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My son just turned two and i am alittle worried ... he doesn't talk AT ALL well he says the basics like daddy and mama. but nothing else he shakes his head no also. When he throws his tantrums i feel like he doesn't understand me when i try to do time out ect. People have blamed me because of his delayed speech because i hardly ever read to him, this is because he is so busy that he doesn't sit still in my lap no longer than 30 sec, i am concerned about his development , the question is... is it my fault? how can i connect with him? Am i connecting with him, or is he playing me as a fool? How can i get him to see that i am boss?

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Claire - posted on 09/03/2009

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My eldest daughter is 3 in 2 weeks and her speach is not very good my youngest daughter is 18 months and she says more words then her. I took her to a speach therapist and they said she was just lazy i answered for her. When she wanted something she wouldnt ask she just pointed and made a noise and for quickness i just gave her what she wanted. I should ov said no u ask me properly. I aslo found that kids programs are not very helpfull (some ov them) in the night garden is banned from our house becaure there is no real sentences and there names are too child like (i know my daughter is a child but maca paca and ninky nonk arnt words she really needs to be saying. I also foould that if i encourage her to say something with the hope ov an reward ie sweets, fruit always works for me or even an extra kiss or cuddle is a real winner she is getting a little better it just is taking a bit ov time. I hope iv being some help Claire xx

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Maggie - posted on 09/06/2009

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My six year old daughter had a speech delay also. Her first word was "baby" at 27 months. We had speech therapy and had her evaluated at several speech clinics. When she was much younger I had taught her baby signs and she was able to put 3 signs together so even though she was not speaking, the ablility to communicate was there. Today there is no issue - she's smart and talkative and sometimes talks too much! She just needed to do it in her own time - and generally boys speak later.



Now having said that - I was a teacher of autistic students before my daughter was born. If he is not speaking a lot and tantrums a lot - how is he with you? Will he cuddle at all or does he resist being held? Does he look at you when he points to something he wants or needs? If there are any concerns like that, you might want to have his pediatrician to recommend an evaluation for autism. It's worth a shot - if he is, you can get lots of assistance through the doctors and the schools. Hope this helps!

Candida - posted on 09/05/2009

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i think looking into speech therapy through early intervention can help. If your child will not sit still for a story book, Try talking to him about his day whats around him naming food toys etc.. keep it fun.Don't worry it's not your fault every child learns differently and at different speeds.

Sacha - posted on 09/05/2009

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firstly there isn't a guide book to parenting so don't blame yourself for your sons delayed development. Have you spoken to your health visitor? My son has just turned four and has only began talking properly in the last 6 months. He also has tantrums that are not 'the norm' as he doesn't understand. David was recently diagnosed with autism, although it was suspected for the past 2 years. This makes no difference to me as his mother but for David the diagnosis is a big step because he will get alot of extra help educationally and children with development delays sometimes need a bit of help. I understand the connection issue but i bet your well connected and bonded to your son. I suspect that sometimes you are frustrated and tired. Try to remember that it will be equally frustrating for your son because he can't express his needs or wants. Speak to your health visitor or your family doctor and ask them for their advice as if they have any concerns they will be able to get you answers.

Brenda - posted on 09/05/2009

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On the safe side I would make an appt with his doctor and have his hearing checked, I did the same with my oldest, she was ok but just developed on her own time, I am sure your son is fine and honestly hardley read to my kids either, they didnt sit still for that long, I am sure you are a wonderful parent and its nothing you are doing wrong, toddlers just develop on different rates....as far as showing him you are the boss, you will have to be persistant..and really follow through with your actions...but remember he is 2 and still learning just give him praises here and there and counting to 10 always helps me....

Michelle - posted on 09/05/2009

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My oldest was like that. He has fluid in his ears that the docs are watching & he gets services through Early Intervention. He's almost 3 now & talks up a storm but his diction is lacking sometimes. Maybe you can have him evaluated & see if he's being a typical toddler or if there's something else going on.

Karen - posted on 09/03/2009

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I wouldn't beat yourself up anout this my daughter is 2 and a half and my best friends son is almost three, Kirsten chatters constantly and my friends son can like your son say the basics. If he is grunting and pointing for things rather than asking for them I would start repeating the word when he points to it so that he understands what the word is for that thing then move to asking him what he is pointing for if he wants it badly enough he will start to ask.



Each child is different and learns at different stages, my daughter can talk but she still eats with her hands where as my friends son uses a knife and fork like an extension to his hands.



Reading is a fun activity to do with your kids but only if they are interested, there are other ways of teaching them and connecting with them that are just as good, like floor play with bricks for colours & counting, looking out the window and pointing to birds, trees, cars whatever and they take it in.



If you are really concerned then speak to your health visitor or doctor and they should be able to give you advise or refer you to a speach therapist.



Good luck, the main thing to remember is that your his Mum and you know your child best

Cheryl - posted on 09/03/2009

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My son turned 2 in July. When I tell you that he is a boy of few words, I mean it. He is currently in speach therapy, which has helped tremendously. Between my older son talking for him and my reading his body language, he never HAD to talk. Now, we hold back until he tries to ask for something, by saying "please". At first, he would only make a noise, which was fine (at least he was trying). Though, it wouldn't hurt to have your son evaluated just to make sure that he does not have any underlying problems (like hearing deficit). Another thing we do is narrate just about everything. (ex. "Now we are putting your shoes on, pants on, shirt on",etc..)

Why is everyone always so quick to blame the mother? My child would still rather eat the book than listen to a story. When your son is ready to talk, he will. And when he does talk, watch out! Really though, once you can communicate better, everything else will fall into place.

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