keeping cool

Adlina - posted on 02/16/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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how do you hold on to your last string of patience? i've tried breathing & count, time out, talking etc..

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Bonnie - posted on 02/17/2010

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walk away .... trust me dont scream and yell just walk away cool don for a couple of minutes then try again ... goodluck :)

Maria - posted on 02/16/2010

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Sometimes you don't. There are times I've burst out yelling or said something mean, and then stopped myself, and then apologized. There are times I've left the room, or went outside and sat on the porch, grinding my teeth. I've taken less-loved dishes into the bathtub and smashed them. I've gone into another room, closed the door, and bashed a broom against the floor while squealing obscenities, just to get it out of my system.

And then there are other times I've had or given myself no choice but to keep cool or simply simmer internally.

However, I think the most important thing you can do when feeling irate or out of control is to separate yourself from your child. Put them in their room, or put yourself in your own room.

Jules - posted on 02/16/2010

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It's alot of work n takes alot of time. Don't give them a chance. You ask them to do somthing once n say I'm not asking any more, If you don't do as I ask mummys going to get grumpy. If they persist take them away from the problem n put them on their bed. Children who missbehave have to go to bed. My daughter is nearly 2 n if I start to count she laughs at me n continues with what she is doing. If say that she is to do it or mummys going to get grumpy/angry with her n she will have to go to bed then I find it works better. Not every time but most of the time. Also you have to follow along with what ever you say. Other wise they will never believe that you are serious. n they turn it into a game.

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Laura - posted on 02/18/2010

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I just have to say I am soo glad that i am not the only one that locks myself in my room and beats up things while screaming! i have a 3 1/2 year old and a 14 week old and sometimes i loose my cool when i am trying to clean, cook, and take care of both of them while my husband is at work, i am a stay at home mom and some days i just cant handle all the stress! i have put my baby safely in her swing, put the toddler in his room and ran to my room shut the door and called their father and left message after message on his voicemail screaming and yelling like a mad women (erasing them after each message of course!) just so i felt like i was venting to someone! when my crying fit was over i come out of my room, let my son out of his room and give him a big hug and ask him to be good for mommy!, he sees that i am upset and wipes my eyes and says i'll be good mommy! and he actually behaves the rest of the night and helps me with his sister!

Jules - posted on 02/17/2010

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Also when you put them on their bed or in their room tell them to stay their until they can be quiet n be nice. They don't understand behave. You'll find that they will come down from their room very quietly. If they come down from their room still screaming then put them back n repeat what you said. If they become quiet n don't come out, go get them n say now that you are quiet you may come out. N say thank you for being quiet n for being nice, Good girl/boy followed by good job. Unless they fall asleep LOL My kids are pretty good but when Abbey has one of her bad days she constantly tells me no, Runs off when I call her n screams when she doesn't get her way, I find this is the only thing that works. I never tell her that she is a naughty girl but when she has finaly done as I have asked then I say thank you good girl n she does her little happy dance n goes back to normal like nothing has happend..

Theresa - posted on 02/17/2010

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When it comes to that point, you put the child in their room and you go to yours, or sit on the steps outside if their crying won't let you calm down. Make sure they're in a safe place, then take a break. Breath deep, give your self someimte to cool off, then go back and confront the child. If you're at the last string of patience it's better to all be apart for a while then deal with things at that point. You can even tell the kids that you need a time out before seperating all of you.

Elizabeth - posted on 02/17/2010

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I believe in spankings. My daughter is almost 3 and it's only taken 3 in the last 2 years. Now the threat of a spanking does the trick. My husband and I make sure to follow up with our threats, though. She gets a warning (if you do this again, this will happen) and when she does it again (because they are 2, of course they will do it again) I make sure to follow up on my word.



If she's being particularly tough one day I put up a babygate and leave her in her room. There isn't anything to hurt herself on and she has lots of toys, so I know she is in a safe place that is better for her than an upset mommy. Some days I just can't handle it between school, work, and a 10 month old. Better to leave her alone in a safe place than loose my cool on her.



Good luck! I hear after 3 it's downhill. We'll see how that goes!!!

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