Looking for recommendations on how to deal with my fiances daughter who gets very jealous of us

Kayla - posted on 03/29/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

2

3

0

He has her every weekend and she is four. On the weekends when Im around, she wont let us even sit by each other. Im having a hard time connecting with her and love her but sometimes it makes things hard on our relationship .....If anyone has ever dealt with this issue, do you have any ideas on how to make this transition easier on her and what I can do to help ease her hurt? Thankyou

2 Comments

View replies by

September - posted on 03/29/2010

5,233

15

695

Include her in as much as you can, make spending time together fun, do things as a family, show her love and affection as if she's your own. Spend one on one time with her doing girly things. My Dad remarried when I was 7 and I was very jealous of my step mom for a while. It was not until me and my step mom started spending time together just the two of us that I accepted her into our family, and that's when the jealousy disappeared. Good luck and best wishes!

Jackie - posted on 03/29/2010

94

24

20

Kayla,



I hate to tell you this but it is hard. Time will only be your friend. I am in the same situation as you are. My husband has now a 6 year old. He was 4 when I first met him. At first he was fine with me just being daddy's friend. But then daddy told him that I was more then a friend. Thats when he started not listening to me, hitting me, just generally being down right mean to me.



I talked to his dad and he sat down with his son. It has gotten better.



Then we got married and had a daughter. He absolutely loves his sister and says he loves me and he is happy that I am around. But when it comes to me telling him what to do or ask him question he either won't answer them or will lie to me.



Its something you can't take personal. Being 4 and the fact that mommy and daddy are not together anymore is very hard for a 4 year old to take. You also need to look into what could MOMMY be telling her before she comes to your house. Thats my problem. His mother says alot of bad things about me and she doesn't know a thing about me. We have his son most the time where his mommy only gets him 2 weekends a month and some holidays.



Talk to your finance and ask him if it would be ok if you and his daughter have a day out on one of the weekends. Even if it is only for 2 or 3 hours. Take her out and do something fun, get something to eat, go to one of her favorite places. While your out, talk to her, ask her how she is doing with her parents not being together, ask her what she thinks about you. Get to know her. Show her your not as bad as she thinks or as bad as someone is making you out to be in her mind.



I know its hard. But like I said.. Time will heal it and you just have to keep in mind not to take it PERSONAL..



I hope this helps. If you have any questions i would be happy to try and help you.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms