Mommy's with 3 or more

Krystal - posted on 04/30/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )




My husband and I have started talking about getting pregnant again, just curious how big of a transition it was from 2 to 3, and also my two are 2 1/2 and 13 months. We want them close together, what was the biggest difficulties, & good things for you about adding the third child?


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Leslie - posted on 05/11/2009




Our third baby was born when our oldest had just turned 3. It's hectic and it takes patience but the transition was easier than 1 to 2. I'm now expecting our fourth, and my oldest is 4 1/2. I'm glad they are close. they play well together and they love to be with each other. Take help from anyone willing. It gets easier. we found the third one adjusted quicker and just fell into our routines. I think we may not even notice the fourth.

Samantha - posted on 05/05/2009




Do you want the truth? Or shall I sugar coat it? Its awesome, they can play together so well because they are so close in age they will likely carry similar interests as they age. My three are 18 months 5 days, and 18 months 6 days apart, making my oldest and youngest 3yrs and 11days apart. I have all boys which in the end is awesome. They really do love playing with one another and adore one another. the benefit for me of having mine so close together was the lack of a jealousy issue. When my 2nd was born my oldest had slight jealousy but loved having a new baby to love. As he got/gets a bit older there won't be any hiding resentment from being thrust from the world of only child to oldest child overnight because he won't ever be able to remember a time without his brother. The same benefit in having my 3rd so close to my 2nd.

Now here's the not sugar coated bit - it was HARD! Really really hard for me the first several months. It was a hard transition not because three kids is just too many but because of the particular ages of mine. they were all still young, the youngest two technically still babies, they were all still needy. They all needed me in some way all day long. That is very hard. They still need me now but as each day passes they grow up in some small way, grow further into independence, better communication, etc.

Truth be told I like having them as close as they are although I will now confess that number three came a lot earlier than we planned to have him. I can see the blessing in that now and am thankful he came when he did. Good luck with your decision and know that no matter how hard things are one way or the other its always a challenge in some way, you will love the little baby in the end and that's all it really comes down to.

Krystal - posted on 05/04/2009




Hi! Thanks so much. That was really helpful. I'm the older of 4, and my husband is the middle of 5. So, we both want a large family. We also found that we don't want our children too far apart, as we have seen some of the problems with siblings being older. Thanks so much!!

[deleted account]

Hi! My boy was 2.5 and my girl was 18 months when our third, a girl, was born. I thought it was less of an adjustment than adjusting to one or two!

I would say the biggest difficulty for us was night time, as we were still rocking our older two to sleep when she was born. It stretched out for hours and it was obvious they weren't getting to sleep efficiently. So we transitioned them to going to sleep by themselves, which was shockingly easy. I highly recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth if your older two don't have good night time/sleep schedules yet! I just wish we had night all worked out before #3 was born :) And we kept a bassinet by our bed for easy nursing and then kept the crib in our room for the first 9 months so I didn't have to run to the baby's room in the middle of the night. So much more sleep that way!

During the day, my sling was a lifesaver! It allowed me to be with the baby all the time while still interacting and helping the older two.

Both my husband and I are so happy having 3 so close together! While the baby was a newborn, the older two really learned to play together and enjoy each other so much. And now that the "baby" is 15 months old, the three of them are just inseparable! It is so fun to watch them all develop special bonds. I would not change a thing; they are little best friends (most of the time LOL).

We are actually working on #4 now for a couple of reasons. First of all, we are so happy with things so far. Secondly, we aren't quite satisfied with the inherent dynamics of 3 kids. We have found that the two girls do tend to fall into their age order roles. My middle girl has tended to display more "middle child" behaviors and tendencies, and the baby thinks the world revolves around her. She will try to push her older siblings out of my lap even if she has no interest in sitting there! These aren't horrible things by any means and we would certainly not be unhappy staying with three, but it just seems like the positives of having one more close in age to them are pretty clear for us.

Hope that helps and good luck!

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