My 2 year old uses the potty for the babysitter, but will not do it at home! He also goes all day without his pacifier at the babysitter's, but insists on having it at home. What to do?

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Kari - posted on 01/15/2009

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Thanks for the advice!  I'm not so worried about the pacifier.  He can go without at home when he wants and he's starting to put it away on his own when we're going somewhere.  I'd love for him to be potty trained, though!!  I have two older boys at home.  There is a little boy about his age at the babysitter's house.  He also uses the potty chair.  That may have something to do with it.

Stacey - posted on 01/15/2009

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Yes, this is so common. I babysat for two girls and I never gave either of them a pacifier during the day, only for naps. Their parents couldn't believe it since the oldest of the two had her binky all day with them. The truth is she didn't need it. She was just used to getting it at home. When at 21 months she wasn't talking and my 21-month old had a vocab of over 150 words and was putting words together, they thought her speech delay was from the pacifier. I'm not convinced it had anything to do with that but nonetheless, they cold turkey took all the pacifiers away. They cried for it a minimal amount for about 3 days and that was it. (It could be coincidence but the oldest did start talking after that).

Anyway, my advice is cold turkey. If it's not an option, he won't have it. I wouldn't suggest making it a power struggle or anything. I would just make up a pretend story about how they all were taken away by the binky fairy or something. Then when it breaks your heart to see him cry for it, sympathize, console, be affectionate, etc but eventually he'll learn that it's not an option anymore.

This is of course if you don't want him to have it. If you don't care and the crying is not worth it to you, then keep giving it to him. He's not going to have it forever. Eventually, he WILL give it up.

Potty training? Not sure about this since. All I do know is PT can be a power struggle thing to. Maybe he wants to be your baby still. Is there a younger sibling at home?

Good luck!!

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