my 2 yr old doesnt sleep da whole nite n still sleeps in bed wit me n his dad wot can i do?

Kirsty - posted on 01/25/2010 ( 14 moms have responded )

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my 2 yr old doesnt sleep through the whole night as he constantly needs juice... and he only sleeps in bed with me and his dad, as soon as we put him in his bed he wakes up...

14 Comments

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Thea - posted on 01/28/2010

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Hi, I have a 4 year old who has had sleep 'problems' since she was two and after finally having enough of broken nights (we also have an 18 mth old) have done some research about sleep and kids etc. I found out how important it is to have a consistant bedtime routine ( i thought we had one but discovered it could be done better) and also found out the importance of how each child has a different amount of sleep needed. There is a generalized 10-14 hours in total, and that includes naps- the key is finding out your childs 'normal' sleep pattern. 'Sleep asossiations' are the most common reason a child wakes up in the night, if they wake in the night to find something different to when they fell asleep, they are more likely to wake up fully and need to re-order things back to how it was before they went to sleep. I never realized how common it is for these things to happen with kids and have found that since making some easy changes, my 18 mth old has started to sleep much better, most nights he sleeps through the night or re-settles himself. It is taking a big longer with my year old as she also has night terrors, nightmares and seems to be quite anxious some nights. I know there are a lot of contributing factors to this, so we are gradually working on them. We have had to exercise a lot of understanding and also at the same time give her the security she needs by not giving into all her demands (otherwise they just go on and on and on...) Things are improving slowly and if they don't completely adjust I will be taking her to see someone. Once a child gets into a habit that makes them feel secure, it can be hard to break it whilst still giving them that security. A book I read that I found excellent is called "Solve your child's sleep problems" by Dr Richard Ferber. After dealing with my daughters sleep issues for two years I feel like I am finally getting somewhere...!!

Heather - posted on 01/28/2010

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Dont jump right to him. Let him cry it out a little. Mybe 30 secounds the first few days. The 1 minute for a few days, and just keep increasing the time. It makes you feel bad, but as long as you know he is not hurt, its not neglect. We had our pediatrician tell us. And im sure any other pediatrician would say the same.

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Dont feel bad, my 2 year old daughter does the same thing. The only difference is she has to have tea instead of juice. She will sleep in the living room on the couch by herself.

Jackie - posted on 01/28/2010

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It def. does sound like the going to the bathroom is just a habit...but thats a tough one b/c you dont want to start an issue of wetting the bed. Maybe you could start by trying like every other waking to not go to the bathroom, but just try to distract her with something else if you can. Then try to spread them out more and more if that works. I would also ask her doctor about suggestions on this b/c you don't want her to get a UTI either by holding it....but its like the bottle. If they only drink an ounce or two they weren't hungry, its a habit...this sounds simliar. Good luck.

Lindsay - posted on 01/28/2010

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My 3 year old has never slept a full night yet! We struggled from the word go, and she was in and out of our bed all the time when she was a baby. Anything to get a better nights sleep, but i know this was wrong! I adopted the controlled crying method and that worked at first and she got used to sleeping in her own bed. It took a while to wean her off the milk and then when i did she took to wanting water at night. She was toilet trained at the age of 2 and within a 2 week period. For the first week of taking the night nappies off, she slept really well and we have had no accidents at all. She became very dependent on the water and would kick up a fuss if she didn't have it sat next to her bed at night. She started to need the toilet in the night and she'd get out of bed and come through to our room. I had to wean her off the water at night and eventually i took the plunge and she is not allowed any water in her room at night. I was hoping that this would stop her needing the loo but it never changed a thing. She's scared of the dark so we have to leave the light on in the hall and she also has a night light. She was waking after having night terrors too. Her mind is more active now as she has just started Nursery and she is obviously learning a lot more. It has got to the stage where she is waking numerous times a night for the toilet and when i take her, it's only for a dribble, nothing more. I feel its become a bit of a habit and i am at a loose end as to what i can do. I have stopped her having anything else to drink after tea time, which is about 5pm. I also limit what she has during the day. I also have a 2 year old who has just started sleeping through the night. Has anyone any suggestions?

Jessi - posted on 01/26/2010

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My son has always slept in his own bed so I don't know about that, but he always would wake me up during the night and want some water and he would have a hard time going back to sleep. I started leaving a cup with just a little water in his room at night. If he woke up and was thirsty he would just drink a little and go back to sleep. Water is the best thing for them to drink at night because it doesn't rot their teeth.

Jackie - posted on 01/26/2010

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And rebecca hit the nail on teh head too....in every book you read it says to start putting babies to bed awake as early as possible for that very reason...when they wake up at nite (as we all do every nite) they expect to see what they saw when they fell asleep. If they dont' they get all confused and wake up completely trying to figure it out. Where if they fell asleep in their crib...and thats still what they see when opening their eyes then they are more likely to drift right back off to sleep alone.

Jackie - posted on 01/26/2010

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I agree with Kaelecia...you need to move him to a bed and you need to CONSISTENTLY keep bringing him back to his bed each time. If that means you sleep on the floor in his room for a nite or two ....or get up 150 times to bring him back fine...but he needs to sleep in his own bed by himself. What is best for you needs to be totally forgotten and focus on whats good for him. And if he's waking in the middle of the nite Juice def. isnt' the best option...the sugar will hype him up and is bad for his teeth to be having that much. I would offer milk if he's truly hungry (but may not be, this may be a ploy to see you) or water.

Rebecca - posted on 01/25/2010

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my son was having a problem with sleeping in his own bed also, we had the bad habit of rocking him since he was born and he was so used to it that we did it for almost 2 years and he was not sleeping through the night...i think the problem was that when he woke up he expected to see us in the room and when he didn't he got scared and cried...it was like the floor fell out from under him...what i did was start a new routine and put him in his bed before he fell asleep...i would sing to him and stay in the chair for a few minutes...everytime he stood up i put him back down and explained to him that he had to sleep by himself...i also told him i would be back in a few minutes to check on him...but you have to keep your word or it will not work..most of the time he was sleeping before i was able to come back....after about a week, he sleeps through the night and goes to sleep completely on his own..good luck..i got these tips from the supernanny and they work!...SHE ROCKS!

Jenna - posted on 01/25/2010

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my 2 in a half year old goes to bed in his toddler bed but wakes up either in the middle of the night or wee early in the morning and comes into bed with me. I let him come into bed with me for a little bit. If i fall back to sleep he stays but if i dont i usually wait till hes sleeping and i put him back into his bed and he stays. If hes still on a bottle have you tried putting him back to bed and giving him one with water. Or rub/pat his back. play with his hair. rock him. or maybe if he dont want him in your bed maybe put his bed in the same room as you.

Krissy - posted on 01/25/2010

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I agree with Kayliecia in that you don't want to be giving him juice right before bed, mainly because of the sugars in juices, even the sugar free... juices naturally have sugar. I however do not agree that your child will be sleeping with you forever unless you stop the co-sleeping. I have read more then my share on cosleeping because my daughter would only sleep thru the night in our bed and we worked long and hard to get her into her crib- which she now loves so much that she doesn't want to be with us anymore. :) But everything I read said that if you are going to co-sleep a child will decide on their own they don't want to be in the bed with the two of you anymore. The things I read pointed out that you don't hear of 13 year olds still sleeping with Mommy and Daddy. Usually it ends between the ages of 3 and 6.

That all being said, if you don't want your son to sleep with you, read everything you can about getting a child to bed- read up on Super Nanny, read up on "Ferberizing" (Dr. Ferber) and read any other thing you can get your hand on. We tried everything and what ended up working for us (in under a week of starting it mind you!) was a combination of several things. The focus was a bit of Ferber combined with a bit of Rapid Return. Within a week her bedtime routine was down, she stopped crying when we put her down to bed, fell asleep within a few minutes of putting her down AND started STTN on a regular basis!

Kayliecia - posted on 01/25/2010

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One thing you have to do and i mean have to unless you want him sleeping with you forever is move him to a bed..he has you wrapped around his little finger. what we do with our son since he was a year old is put him on a consistent schedule at night, we eat dinner around 5-6 and then we go do the bath and brush teeth afterwards, he usually is in bed by 7-8 and we put him in his room in his own bed, we say prayers, and tell him to go to sleep kisses and hugs and he usually comes out a few times, and wants juice or whatever, what we do is put him right back and let him know that he cannot have juice and if he does then we make him drink it out in the kitchen. you should make the transition to the bed an exciting thing, also we put a night light in my sons room, and we put books in there so he can read them, with a few times of coming out and shouting that he needs to have juice and he needs to watch t.v. then he goes to bed. hope this helps!. but i think ur main problem is ur giving him juice at night and hes thinking thats okay to do. and ur sleeping with him..he needs to sleep in his own bed my four month old sleeps in his own bed now and he started that at 2 months, because he didn't want to sleep with us anymore. the later you let them sleep with you and give into things like juice then you wont ever get him to sleep! Really hope i helped.

Una - posted on 01/25/2010

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My little boy will be 2 yrs on May 10th. He was sleeping the night, but for the last 4 months or so, he's back to drinking 2 bottles a night again..... It's very hard, I know and most times we end up bringing him into the bed. Saturday night, I let him have a little cry instead of going to him straight away, and he stopped. Then last night he didn't wake at all until 6:15 am, gave him a bottle and he slept until 8:30, so it was the first night's sleep i had got in a long time, and i'm feeling great at work today. I changed his pillow last night also, cause he sleeps great when he's in the bed, so i gave him my pillow last night and i think that had a lot to do with the good nights sleep. As they say we have to be cruel to be kind, try to let your 2yr old have a little cry before going to them, i think this was my mistake, i always went the minute he made a sound. I hope this helps a little....... Good luck pet

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