My 2 yr old will not stop throwing temper tantrums

Regina - posted on 10/06/2010 ( 10 moms have responded )

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I have a almost 2 yr old little girl she will be 2 on Oct 20th..Every time she doesn't get to watch cartoons or get what she wants or i put water mixed with juice in her sippy cup she throws these big temper tantrums..screaming crying real hard...she soooo horse from it its not funny...please any suggestions I'm about to lose my mind....

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Beccie - posted on 10/09/2010

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If my LO (also nearly 2) has a tantrum I just leave him to it, unless he gets distructive or it looks as though he might harm himself (he has a habit of headbutting things out of temper - strange kid lol). They have to learn that they unfortunately cant have what they want all the time (a fact of life sadly), so I try to make sure I never back down unless I think I am being particularly unreasonable lol. My little boy has had horrendous tantrums since he was 10 months old, so I have mastered the art of selected hearing, so if its just the wild screaming then I can now deal with that. However, if he starts to hit/kick me or throw things, then he gets taken to time out for a minute or until he has calmed down enough. I keep him in the same room so that he can still see me and knows I am close y, but I completely ignore him so that he realises his tantrum wont get any of my attention. Once he has chilled out I ask for a kiss and cuddle, tell him I love him and send him on his way, and to take his mind of the original tantrum I usually ask him to do something completely different to take his mind off what caused the tantrum (go get mummy your purple car etc), then give lots of praise. That helps with his learning of colours etc, distracts from the original tantrum, and makes us both happy as we have fun. hope this might help you

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Sophia - posted on 10/12/2010

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I agree with Hannah. When my three year old throws a tantrum I get on her level and tell her to use her words. When she doesn't stop, I tell her she will go to her room until she can calm down. I count to three, then carry her to her bed, set her down and tell her she can come out when she's ready to talk to me, then I walk away. When I first started doing this she would jump off the bed and run screaming and crying out of the room. I would repeat the whole process until she calmed down and I could talk to her again. Now when she throws a fit she usually cries it out for just a few minutes, usually less then five, and comes to me with a new attitude. I always hug her and ask her what she wanted. If she does this in public you just may have to pick her up and walk out and go back home. I had to do this once with my oldest when she was about three and believe it or not she never layed on a store floor kicking and screaming again. I hope this helps.

SUSAN - posted on 10/11/2010

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I have my grandaughter when she throws a fit i made a plac for her to sit as a time out i would sit her there she would get up just keep seting her there tell she knew when she throws a fit she sits there tell she is done throwinging a fit when she does something wrong she knows she has to set there for 2 or 3 minutes it was hard at firs i stand to her her cry but i would just egnor her it just got easer as time goes on hope this can work for you

Krissy - posted on 10/10/2010

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my boy still throws them because he is delayed,i sit him on the 'purple chair' -which he states ' i no like purple chair anymore' i reply 'you dont have to,its your timeout/naughty chair' he gets 4 minutes -he's 4.10 months unless he plays up then he gets extra time he doesnt like it but my good boy returns with a big hug and 'im sorry mumma'. my temperance on the other hand is 15 mnths and oh my goodness tempers extraordinaire.... i jusy say 'stop no more' i put my hand to a stop signal and if she continues i say ' i dont care im walking away untill you stop' sometimes it works other times it doesnt but if child in safe environment i believe stating your not impressed and walking away helps. throwing toys etc isnt good and needs time out.

Aneta - posted on 10/09/2010

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Hi, Im still far from this stage (my daughter is almost 10months :D) but i read that at this developmental stage kids start realizing their ego and that they are not anymore a part of mommy but an individual personality. And the easiest way to prove that is to reject things thus expressing their will. That is why you might rather hear "no" in respond to your requests to her. To deal with that you should give your daughter opportunity for a small choice: i.e. would you like to go to bed now or in 5min? or would you like apple or pear juice? etc. At the times of tantrums you should just quietly leave the room until she calms down, thus she will understand that it cannot be a manipulation tool. Hope it helps.

Erin - posted on 10/07/2010

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Ok I know where you are my daughter is 2 1/2 and she tells you what she
wants like demands it we say no and she gets mad
but we just try to inforce disipline you have to or you will
go mad . Take a deep breath let it out repeat .... If you have to do you still
have the crib up time out in crib works my daughter
never stayed put so the crib works 2. Minutes

September - posted on 10/07/2010

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Read the book Parenting with Love and Logic! I just got done reading it and it's a great book. Hang in there it does get better! :)

Shiloh - posted on 10/07/2010

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my sons doing the same thing...kind of...he will be 2 in January, and he throws a tantrum every time he finds a reason to.

Amanda - posted on 10/07/2010

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I disagree with having them throw their temper tantrum and leaving them to their own devices. When they are throwing a tantrum, they are at their most vulnerable time and its when they need you most. They need to know and trust that you will continue to love them even when they are not at their best.
I sit close by to my little guy(21 months) and empathise with him. I tell him I know he is upset, but this is the reason why he cannot do/have whatever it is he is upset about. I try offering up a distraction of some sort, sometimes it works, sometimes not. Sometimes they just need to let off the steam, just like we do. So I wait for him to calm down some and then offer a snuggle, again sometimes he is ready, other times he needs a little longer, so I sit patiently with him. We are at the point now, where his tantrums are not very long or intense(unless he is tired-but then I understand the reason behind it) and he will come to me when he is ready for a snuggle.

[deleted account]

Oh my! Sounds like you are having a rough time! this stage is tough for both baby and mommy! Up until this point almost all of her needs have been met, but now she wants things, and you, and rightfully so, are still meeting her needs, but not all of her wants. And it stinks when you don't what you want! Even as adults we don't like it! But this is a life skill she needs to learn - or else she will make the next twenty years miserable for both of you!
My son, who is now two and a half, is allowed to throw as big of a tantrum as he wants - IN HIS ROOM! When he is sweet, and calm, and pleasant, he can come back out with me. And life with him is very pleasant.
I HIGHLY reccomend the techniques by Love and Logic. They are BRILLIANT! and I think will keep you from losing your mind! I know I enjoy being a mom and being with my son a lot more now!
www.loveandlogic.com

Good luck!

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