My aunt cares for my 14 mo old while I am at work. I was working part time until january. Now that I am working full time my son cries hysterically when I go to pick him up after work. He will even pretend to come to me when I say hello but then he turns to my aunt to pick him up lol. When it is time to go and I try to pick him up and get him ready to go he starts screaming and crying. By the way not only does he behave this way when I pick him up he also acts up when I drop him off. As soon as we get to her house he doesnt want to have anything to do with me!!!!! I feel horrible HELP!

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Katie - posted on 02/17/2009

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Believe it or not, this is actually pretty normal behavior. It's an attachment thing. Your son is getting to the point of realizing himself as an individual, and not just as an extension of yourself. What you can do is provide him plenty of positive feedback when you are on your way to your Aunts house "mommy loves you" "mommy misses you when i'm at work" ect. and then have your Aunt ready him when it gets time for you to pick him up. "mommy will be here in 1/2 an hour, I bet she missed you so much" "your mommy is on her way, she can't wait to see you" ect. That way your son isn't suprised when you show up at the door. And as hard as it is (and I'm a full time working mom so I know), you have to remember that your son spends the same (if not more) awake time with your Aunt, so he has a very tight connection with her. Also and it's much much harder to do, try not to take it personally. Your son isn't trying to hurt your feelings, and he still loves and needs you very much. at such a young age children really only have 2 ways to express their emotions, to laugh or to cry. Just keep loving him and things will mellow out as he gets more adjusted to the new full time routine.

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Malia - posted on 02/17/2009

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I would quit my job.  I love being the one to raise my own kids and I don't care how poor we are.  Neither do they!!  Kids would rather have your time than money.  I believe there are always things we can sacrifice instead of precious time with our kids, that we'll never get back! 

Christy - posted on 02/17/2009

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I would change my perception of the situation - not that he doesn't want to be with you but that he really just likes his babysitter. How wonderful for him.

Rose - posted on 02/17/2009

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Quoting Katie:

Believe it or not, this is actually pretty normal behavior. It's an attachment thing. Your son is getting to the point of realizing himself as an individual, and not just as an extension of yourself. What you can do is provide him plenty of positive feedback when you are on your way to your Aunts house "mommy loves you" "mommy misses you when i'm at work" ect. and then have your Aunt ready him when it gets time for you to pick him up. "mommy will be here in 1/2 an hour, I bet she missed you so much" "your mommy is on her way, she can't wait to see you" ect. That way your son isn't suprised when you show up at the door. And as hard as it is (and I'm a full time working mom so I know), you have to remember that your son spends the same (if not more) awake time with your Aunt, so he has a very tight connection with her. Also and it's much much harder to do, try not to take it personally. Your son isn't trying to hurt your feelings, and he still loves and needs you very much. at such a young age children really only have 2 ways to express their emotions, to laugh or to cry. Just keep loving him and things will mellow out as he gets more adjusted to the new full time routine.


Thank you!  I do exactly what you suggested.  I also stopped smothering him as soon as I walk in the door.  I use to rush him to leave as soon as I knocked on the door.  Now I just spend a few minutes saying hello and talking with my aunt.  The cries are not as bad as they were in the beginning but it hurts me I sometimes want to quit my job.....

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