my boy irritates me

Tembela - posted on 05/08/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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in the past week i had this thing of being extremely irritated by and very impatient with my 3 and a half year old son. This worried me and i'd just snap at him then feel bad abt it afterwards. I think i've stopped now and i suspect that it was PMS but still it worries me, my son can't be a victim of my PMS'

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Linda - posted on 05/11/2009

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Maybe you can try to enroll him in a play program or activity where you can get some time for yourself, maybe let dad watch over the other child for an hour or so. This way you can go for a ride, a walk, a swim, a lunch, a library, a massage, a salon, or whatever that you feel you need to do , to enjoy time for yourself. Hope this helps!

Lynn - posted on 05/10/2009

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yep i totally agree with you. i have a 4 year old boy and a 2 1/2 year old girl, and sometimes they drive me and my hubby mental!! especially my daughter who is an incredibly big whinger and cryer (manipulative!!) but its hard not to get frustrated and snap at them. sometimes i feel so overwhelmed. and i feel so bad after i do get really angry, coz i know they're just toddlers, but hey. i think all mums are allowed to get a little over it sometimes, its a tough job!!

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The first thing I thought about is that you may not be getting enough support and "you time". I'm sure a big part of it is that you have another little one that requires so much extra time right now too. Don't be too hard on yourself, just appologize and let him know that it wasn't right to treat him that way. Try to keep the emotions in check and think ahead. I would also try giving him some positive reinforcement... that goes a long way :)

Kristen - posted on 05/09/2009

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I feel the same way about my 4 year old. He is driving me absolutely crazy. I am always yelling at him all day long and then I feel so bad and cry about it afterwards.

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Lori - posted on 07/10/2009

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Supernanny also has a lot of great points! I never get to watch it much but when I do, I ask myself will that work? Anything is better than how it is being handled now! Can't hurt to try! But this is GREAT! Having a connection to other mothers to get a different point of view and to be able to have that time apart from only baby talking!

Karen - posted on 07/10/2009

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I do what Lori said. I will suddenly announce very loudly, "Mommy, go to time-out." Then I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. I just stand at the sink and splash cold water on my face and try to talk myself back into being calm. After a few minutes, I'm ready to handle the insanity that is motherhood.

Lori - posted on 07/10/2009

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Of course we want everything to be perfect like in a storybook and everything to be pure. but we are all human and go through our ups and downs. what is important that you recognize them and feel badly. it will help to talk with your child no matter how old because it will teach them they can talk about their feelings. just take a time out even if it is for 5 minutes to yourself in the bathroom with the door shut. and focus on what you can do positively with your child. singing together, reading a story, making lunch together, all these little things will show your child that you are the best again! just showing communication and your feelings are important! everyone will have happy, sad, anger, disappointment, excited feelings! it is part of life!

Mandy - posted on 07/09/2009

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i completely understand, i have a son that will be 2 next month, and there are somedays that he drives me crazy. He may not be able to talk much but he is very smart and he knows when he is suppose when he isn't suppose to do this or that. but when he spends the day with grandpa he spoils him so much that he acts like a different kid when he comes home. My husband is wonderful he helps out whenever i ask and when he notices that i am stressed from work and being a mommy because my son is a mommies boy so it is hard for me to brake away. my husband just tells me that he will take it from here and for me to go to do some unwinding and it does help, but i do feel bad asking for help because he works in an enviroment with no air conditiong ( and it has been really hot latly ) and he works in that for 10-12 hrs a day and when he comes home he is so tired and i don't want to bother him. He keeps saying that it isn't a problem. But it is so hard when we both have full time jobs and a child that gets so spoiled by his grandpa that doesn't listen to our instructions on what we want done with our son while were gone.

Monique - posted on 07/07/2009

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I have a three and four year old and yes they drive me mental most days. How ive found to deal is to sneak outside and just take a deep breath for a min and come back in. It also helps that Ive started working again so i get a few hours away from talking to just children. But the most important thing is to know its going to happen they are going to do something that pisses you off and you're going to snap once in awhile. I just either at that point tell them to go play in their room until i can talk to them without want to scream or if you do yell at them afterwards calmly tell them what they did that upset you and how they should do it or not do it.

Heather - posted on 07/02/2009

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I am the same way with my son. I can't seem to not yell at him all day. I get frustrated very quickly and it seems to be worse at certain times of the month. I know it's not fair to him, but I don't know how else to handle it.

Tembela - posted on 06/11/2009

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Thank you very much ladies. it was seriously relieving to hear that i'm not alone in this. i tried paying more attention to him and it helps. he's gotten used to playschool as well, he now enjoys it, initially he used to lie and say teachers are bitting him up coz he didn't wanna go to school. what helped was doing everything with him in the morning, brush teeth together, take a bath together then he goes to nanny to dress him up while i do the same. i tried agreeing to sum of his crazy demands where possible and it really helped. the other morning he insisted that we go back to bed just because he found himself sleeping next to his father and i was already awake (he wants to wake up next to me). well we went back to bed for less than two minutes and then he agreed that we can wake up now. see, if i acted against his wishes we would've fought for abt two hrs... but thanks to your advise i knew what to do... just give him a little attention, it will do wonders.

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