My son bites me and ONLY me. I don't know what to make of the situation. I've been advised to give him a hiding, but that only seems to aggrivate him further.

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Anthea - posted on 02/13/2009

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Smacking is kinda pointless, especially seeing you are trying to teach him not to take out his aggression or frustration in a violent way. Biting is a phase that most kids go through. The best way I have learn't to deal with it is just to take them away from the situation and say very firmly that we don't bite, biting hurts and when you bite you are making the other person really upset. I used to always follow up with getting them to give the person that they bite and kiss on the area because they had made it sore.
They do eventually learn, have you ever seen a teenager that bites their friends cause they took away their toy??? hope this helps :) mum of 3 plus twins on the way!!

Christina - posted on 02/14/2009

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I had similar issues with my daughter, and I agree that hitting is not the answer, but "ignoring" it didn't work for us either. I found that a firm "no" and leaving was the best answer for how to deal with it; but it didn't really put a stop to it.

As for only biting you. . . I think one way to look at it is that he knows you are a safe testing ground. You love him unconditionally and he can try out this biting thing (and maybe see how long he can keep doing it) on mom without worrying about being totally rejected. Kind of the same idea as to why they are better behaved for other people than for their parents.

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Sammi - posted on 02/14/2009

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try moving him away without speaking to him and ignoring this behaviour, it might be hard to ignore but if he knows it gets to you he will do it all the more but if you dont give him a reaction he should get the message and give up...failing that bite him back...lol

Leanne - posted on 02/13/2009

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Quoting Jessica:
My son did the same, lots of young ones do .. simply tell him off .. take him to the stairs of your house and leave him at the bottom for a minute for each year of his life ... my 3 year old sits on the step when he has been naughty for 3 minutes and it works, it takes a little time for them to learn so be patient, if he comes off the stairs just walk him back, get down to his level and tell him he will not be allowed off until he sits there like a good boy ... he WILL get it if you persevere ....Any bad behaviour will go away quickly of you can learn to ignore it, as the negative attention a child gets when you are angry fuels their that behaviour ... I know it is easier said than done, i have lost my temper with my son when he's hit me and screamed and shouted, but he responds much better when i am calm x






 

Wendy - posted on 02/13/2009

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Thank you - that makes me feel much better ;o)

Good luck with the twins - I always wished that I would have twins - but you never know - maybe the second time around is the charm! I guess experience really is the key to having well mannered children. New mums (like me) often tend to make to much of a situation, but it's difficult because you aboslutely nothing to compare it to... I will take your advice and let you know if it works - I am hoping it does. I always feel kind of stupid when it comes to my own son, but I seem to be helpfull to my friends - go figure - LOL

Leanne - posted on 02/13/2009

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whoever advised you to give him a hiding is crazy !! sorry but if you are aggressive towards him that will just fuel it, he will think that is how we deal with things ...

My son did the same, lots of young ones do .. simply tell him off .. take him to the stairs of your house and leave him at the bottom for a minute for each year of his life ... my 3 year old sits on the step when he has been naughty for 3 minutes and it works, it takes a little time for them to learn so be patient, if he comes off the stairs just walk him back, get down to his level and tell him he will not be allowed off until he sits there like a good boy ... he WILL get it if you persevere ....Any bad behaviour will go away quickly of you can learn to ignore it, as the negative attention a child gets when you are angry fuels their that behaviour ... I know it is easier said than done, i have lost my temper with my son when he's hit me and screamed and shouted, but he responds much better when i am calm x

Anthea - posted on 02/13/2009

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I also don't agree with smacking. If you speak to any parent that smacks its usually cause they are really frustrated and are smacking out of anger. Good things they are teaching the children!!

Why is he only biting you?
You may just be the 'flavour' of the month. LOL! My middle child had this obsession with one little boy at playgroup and as soon as he would walk in she would run at him with her mouth open. Poor kid, he copped it every time! I would be able to watch who she would bite more often and then be able to catch it by quickly picking her up and placing her down at a distance. Distraction is also good. He'll outgrow it, don't worry. :)

Wendy - posted on 02/13/2009

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Thank you. I also think hitting is not the answer (obviously because it hasn't worked). And I hate giving a hiding - he is only 13 months and he doesn't understand. I'm just wondering... if all children go through this phase, why is biting only me? Could he have some agression towards me? He has never even attempted biting his father.

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