My son fights me at bed time , any help in sight?

Anne - posted on 12/04/2009 ( 11 moms have responded )

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Every night my son fights me going to bed, he use to go to bed at 9 pm now it's anywhere from 12am to 2am. Any suggestions??? Starting to get stressed out.

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Kristina - posted on 12/05/2009

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Considering your son does not have a room of his own, my best suggestion would be to "give him yours" for the time being and sleep in the living room. You are the momma, so you set the rule. If 9pm is his normal bed time, then set a routine he can expect.
For example, my son is almost a year old, and has been sleeping through the night since 9 months old because I developed a routine, and stuck to it.
Our routine starts at around 6. I give him a bath, then we cuddle up in his room on the rocking chair and read 2 short books. I then put him in his crib, turn on some soft lullaby music and an over-head nightlight (it's called star theater 2, got it at Meijer. It shows all the constellations- he's too small to know them, but it gives a soft light which helps) and I tell him it's night time, that God loves him and so do I and I will see him in the morning. And then I leave the room and close the door. It took about 3 nights of him fussing slightly for about 10 minutes before he got the hang of it. The first night was a bit more rough, he did cry for a good 30 minutes, but I kept going in, laying him back down and assuring him he was ok, patting his back and the leaving again.

Now, since you don't have a separate room, just stay out of your room until he's asleep, and stick to a predictable routine.
Good luck!

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We too kept our son in our room until he was 10 months old. We had such problems getting him to sleep. Our ped. suggested the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weishbluth (sp?). It was a life saver. We immediately put into practice the suggestions of a bedtime routine and an early bedtime. It took about a week (and some tears on his and our part) but after that he had no problem going to sleep on his own. You have to be consistent though. Once you start don't give in. When my second son was born we immediately started these things with him and he was sleeping 12+ hours per night by the time he was 3 months old. They are now 2 and 4 years old and go to bed at 6:30p and 7:30 respectively and sleep all the way through and still take naps during the day. They even ask to go to bed sometimes. Just as the book title suggests, they are "happy children." I wish you the best. Sleep problems with children are the worst.

Lisa - posted on 12/05/2009

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The thing that seems to work best with out sone is routine... do the same three things before bed every single night... brush their teeth, read a book, say a prayer ( or sing a song)... every single night without fail... You can incorporate other things as they get older like sitting on the potty after brushing their teeth or a bath before it all... but as long as there are a few constant signals it kinda prepares them... We put up a baby gate at the door when our son sleeps as well, so if he needs to know we are still there or to wake us in the morning he can come to the dorr, but this also signifies to him that it is time to sleep... granted he does not go to sleep immediately I have checked in on him at 11pm one time and he was just laying there in his bed hanging out... but at least he was resting... and after awhile it becomes something they just do....

Amy - posted on 12/05/2009

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I have the same problem. He was great about going to bed. Every night by 9, no fuss or no getting up. At about 32 months he started getting back up. I fought with him for a long time. I put him back in bed over and over. I laid with him til he went to sleep. We tried closing the door. Even if we finally get him to sleep he comes to our bed around 3-4 am. We both get up very early and eventully gave in and let him watch TV to stay in bed. He still comes to our bed about 3 times a week. I know that this is not perfect, but it gets us through to remain sane. I don't know what else to do, but hope it is a phase he will soon grow out of.

Michelle - posted on 12/05/2009

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sounds like he's probably over tired? therefore having a hard time going to sleep... a child this age staying up to midnight isn't normal and isn't healthy

Melanie - posted on 12/05/2009

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I go though that with my daughter most night . it might sound mean but i have to hold her down and rock her .she will fight me for a hour or so but i don't give in to her. i look at her and tell her mommy said it's time for bed . she is almost two . I use to have her in bed at 8 but now that my husband is home all the time because he was hurt at work now iam having so much trouble getting her to sleep before 11 . so what i do is give her a warm bath a snack brush her teeth and then hold her down , good luck

Nicolene - posted on 12/05/2009

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My daughter did the same thing so what I then did was to tell her that she does not have to go to sleep but it is story time, Then I took her to bed gave her some warm milk with the Purity bed time milkshake and put on a movie for her to watch, before the end of the movie she was fast asleep

Anne - posted on 12/04/2009

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i think that another part of the problem is that he is still in our room, don't have a room of his own, he is 10 months old

Hollyjo - posted on 12/04/2009

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i kinda agree with Katie but i don't go by doctors because nobody knows what is best for your child better than the parents, doctors are their to make you feel better when your sick not tell you how to raise you kid(s). all i know is my now 4 yr old like to do that sometimes but all you have to do is have patience eventually they learn that you are in charge not them, just be tough not mean but firm. good luck

Jennifer - posted on 12/04/2009

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How old is you son? I know this might sound crazy lol but i was watching supernanny the other night and the parents had a problem putting there twin girls to bed [they were 4] So she had the parents put them in bed and shut the door and everytime they came out they would tell them "its time for bed" and put them back in there bed after like the 5th time they put them into bed without saying anything to them. That night they got out of the room a million times but they finally gave up and fell asleep. They were just persistent then after a little while they went to bed with no problem because they realized mommy and daddy werent gonna give in. Your son is gonna kick and cry but its good to fix that problem as soon as you can because mommy needs a break to. Good luckk!

Katie - posted on 12/04/2009

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I feel your pain! My 2 year old daughter is doing that too. They are afraid they are going to miss something even if there is nothing going on. Don't stress about it... that just makes them do it more often. I asked my pediatrician about it and he said to just continue with whatever yuor routine with him at night is and put him to bed when he is supposed to go to bed. Yes he will probably cry and be angry at you but by morning her will have forgotten all about it!

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