My son has started hitting when he gets mad. I've tried everything and suggestions?

Amber - posted on 10/14/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

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My two yr old has started hitting or raising his hand like he's gonna hit when he's mad. I've tried timeouts, spankings, slapping his hand back.....ect. I don't know what to do. I should probably add that he's prolly the most stubborn child i've ever encountered! And ideas?

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Amber - posted on 10/20/2009

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Haha, i tried that one. Unless he actually hurts me to the point of tears, he can tell when i'm pretending and then he laughs....."aw common momma dat funny!" he gives me a kiss on the cheek and goes about his merry way.

Claire - posted on 10/16/2009

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Someone once told me that pretending that they are hurting you and play crying works. Cry like he does when he hits you

Erin - posted on 10/16/2009

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Tell him no and be consistent eventually he will stop. It might take a little while. Just be patient and it will pay off.

Amber - posted on 10/15/2009

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I sure hope so, my biggest fear is that it will get worse. However tonight i took his ball away cause he was bouncing it in the house when he knows he's supposed to roll it not throw it or bounce it (one of those super bouncers out of the machines......dangerous to bounce lol) and he didn't try to hit me.....he got sad and said please give it back momma...bad momma, you have to share!!!! It was adorable but how do you explain to a 2yr old that sharing doesn't pertain when he did something and i said i was gonna take it away if he did it. LOL this was a new thing, i've never heard him say anything like it before, it was great. But in any case, he comes from a family with horrible tempers so the whole hitting thing concerns me that it will get worse. I learned to control my temper and divert it elsewhere, his father did not. I just don't want him to grow up to be like his dad.....his dad thinks that it's ok to put his hands on a woman when they piss him off, one of the many reasons i left, i didn't want my son to grow up thinking that it's ok to do that.

Diane - posted on 10/14/2009

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I think he is having these strong feelings and he doesn't know how to deal with them he really can't tell you what is wrong just be consistant say no and just love on him. It is not long before he will have better comunication skills. This phase will pass.

Amber - posted on 10/14/2009

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The hardest part is we went through this phase like 6mo. ago. I did the whole time out bit and it REALLY worked. His attitude and behavior, the hitting and everything completely changed, really a complete 360. And then last month it was horrible it's as it is now. Timeout stopped worked, 'showing how it feels' by doing it back stopped working. Thank-you all for the advice.....but what do i do now that EVEYRTHING has stopped working. I wonder if maybe it's cuz he doesn't know how to deal with having to switch back and forth between parents.....

Diane - posted on 10/14/2009

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in my opinion you do what he does but a little bit harder you need to show him that it hurts and try to teach consequences to actions. Pick one action and be Consistant. And in my 16yrs and 8 children plus I have spanked all of my kids and they are not aggressive in any form or fashion but I use it as a last resort or at a out right defiance of authority. Every kid is different and some get spanked more than others but at one time or other I had to do it. With strong will kids you have to be very consistant and not let your guard down, or you start back to square 1. Right now I have a 2 yr old who trys and thinks about hitting especially when he doesn't get his way, I have hit his hand and say no every time and every time he even thinks about it. He doesn't hit me any more in my experience ALL kids go through this stage just like the bitting and the spitting and temper tantrum stages 2 yr olds cannot express with words that well how they are feeling so they show it in nonverble ways. Just think if you were unhappy about something and you could not communicate with words how would you tell someone that you were unhappy with them. probably the same way. hope this helps.

Reynabeth - posted on 10/14/2009

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we take her toys away. our daughter is 3 yrs old and 3 months. before, she push and hit someone at playgroup and i told about it to my hubby. we talk to her about not hitting etc we will take her toys away. she hasn't done again.hope this help you.

Paige - posted on 10/14/2009

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My son started doing the same thing when he was around 18months. I tried everything else aswell than started timeouts. I was really harsh on him in the first few months if he hit anyone even if it was not hard or seemed like he was playing he went to timeout for two minutes then when he came out i didn't mention it. we started six months ago and he hasnt hit anyone in the last few months. It was really hard but i was worried as im sure you are that it was only going to get worse. Timeout wont work for everyone but my tips are to do it EVERY time he hits, consistancy is a big thing for timeout to work. Encourage him to play nicely and when he chucks a tantrum walk away if it continues use time out to help him calm down. And don't stop it took about 2 weeks for some results & they only improved just stick with it. it has helped me enormously i hope it helps you

September - posted on 10/14/2009

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In my opinion you should not be hitting him. If you don't want him to hit you then maybe you should not hit him. It's not teaching him that hitting is not ok. Our children lead by example. Try talking to him about why he is mad and try to help him solve his problem.

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