my son is not circumsized

Maria - posted on 03/31/2010 ( 41 moms have responded )

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my son is 5 years old and i did not have him circumsized when he was borned... is that a bad thing? should i get him circumsized now? or is it to late?

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Casey - posted on 04/01/2010

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A lot of post on here are criticizing people that have made the choice to have their son circumcised. Those statements are very judgmental and few of the comments even allow for reasons as to why a parent may made the choice to have it done. I am going to speak for myself and the experience I have had. My son is 3 years old. He was circumcised when he was 5 days old. Some comments were made that doing it puts them in pain and causes trauma. When my son was done, we took him to his doctor(I felt it was better to have his ped do it rather than my ob since his doctor handles children every day, even though my doctor had done them and offered to do it), it was a regular office visit, and the doctor gave me the option of nursing him while it was being done, or having a nurse give him a small amount of pedialite-type juice (she did this while letting him suck on her finger to keep him calm). He never cried, never made a peep, and was completely calm the entire time. After it was done, I kept vaseline on it until it healed, which kept it from sticking to his diaper, or from getting urine and feces on it while it was healing. I never had any problem cleaning it, and it healed up in 3 days. I did a ton of research on it before deciding to have it done. My husband and I talked it over and looked over the research together and then made the decidion to have it done. My husband had it done when he was a baby and said that he would have been very upset with his parents if they had not had it done for him. He told me that growing up, guys would talk in the locker-room, and all of the guys that had not had it done talked about how hard it was to keep clean, about the infections, and just about the fact that they wish it had been done as a baby because they were scared to get it done now. I was hesitant at first about getting it done because I was worried about the pain aspect for him. I talked with his doctor about using an anestetic and such and his doctor said that he had done research into using that for his patients, but in his years of practice, had never had a baby who seemed upset or in pain while having it done. My husband very much wanted it to be done, because he had it done (and felt that it would be easier if they "looked" alike down the road) and because he did not want our son to go through any possible issues down the road from not having it done. I know there are several post on here where it is said that their son was not done and have not had any problems, but everyone they know that has had it done has had so many horrible experiences, ect, but there are going to be negative and positive stories no matter which way you go.
I don't think that people should be criticized, regardless of which choice they make. It is up to the parents to make the decision. Judging a parent for this choice is the same as judging a parent for not breastfeeding (after all, just like this, there could be many reasons for making the choice they did).
In regards to your question about your 5 y.o., that is something that you and your husband would need to really talk about, and talk about it with your son's doctor as well. At this point, it could still be done without being put out, but with just local pain managment. If you have not had any problems with it as of yet though, unless there is some reason why you want to have it done now, you could just let him make the choice when he is older. From what I have read and heard from guys I know, as an adult, he is not likely to want to have it done(just because guys don't like the idea of it being cut as an adult) even if he does not like the fact that it was not done when he was a baby.
Personally, this is not a touchy or big subject for me, but when mothers criticize a choice that another mother has made on an issue that is a personal choice for the parents of that child, it does bother me. I know that the criticism was made about anyone in general who chooses to have this done for their son, but when a comment is made, even in general, about something like this, it might as well be a personal criticism about any mother who made that choice. Considering that I have not once regretted the decision I made for my son, I do not agree with any of the comments that making the choice to have it done is a bad, horrible, ect decision.
I also wanted to point out, for those that have never seen/had a boy circumsized, the baby is not tied down (or if they are then their parents should not let that doctor do it), they are not separated from their mothers (or at least they shouldn't be, and I would not let me son have it done if I was not there), and the baby is not in pain after it is done. It is done so early that they do not even notice it.

Jennifer - posted on 04/01/2010

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circumcision is a personal thing and at the end of the day it is your choice and your choice alone... I had both my boys circumcised and this came from a joint decision between my husband and me... my husband has had medical issues in this regard and is looking into having it done as an adult he realises it will be expensive and the only other difference is that he will go under a general anesthetic... Here in New Zealand, because of the size of the instruments used, it needs to be done within a month of birth... my boys were done at one week... I would say that this may be the same in different parts of the world, with the exception of different religious practice... So at this stage it will be a decision for your son later in life.... It will be up to your partner to teach your son to clean and keep his penis healthy...

Casey - posted on 04/01/2010

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Here is an article that addresses circumcision and gives information on what stds it can reduce the risk for. Circumcision DOES reduce the risk of HIV/Aids, HPV, and herpes in heterosexual males. http://www.wellsphere.com/forumTopic.s?t...

I can't find a way to post it as a link, but you can cut and paste and it will take you to the topic.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/01/2010

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My son and husband are circumsized and would do it again in a heartbeat. Your son is a little too old at this point to have it done if he is not having any medical problems. I have a family member who did not get her son circomsized and by the time he was one, he had gotten a serious problem and had to be circimsized then. Which was way more traumatic on the mom and child. It is PERSONAL CHOICE. You are the parent and are given the right to speak for your child when they cannot. And there are medical studies showing it does decrease risks of infection as well as more serious and life threatening problems in some cases.

Ashley - posted on 04/01/2010

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It's a matter of choice and opinion. I got my son circumsized. They are more prone to infections and other things as they get older if they're not. Yes, a circumsized penis can get infected, but if you take proper care of it and do as you are directed, you should have no problems. I would much rather him not remember the pain as it was done when he was 2 days old, than to have him decide he wants it done and have to go through hell and always remember the pain. I also wouldn't want my son to get older and wonder why he looks different than daddy or other boys...I would never not have my son circumsized. I've seen some mention that God made them that way, well, he makes us all the way we are and we all alter or change something about our bodies! How many of you have your piercings? Or have tattoos? Or have done something to your body to make you feel better about yourself? God didn't make you that way, it's a choice you made. It's all a matter of personal opinion. Good luck on your decision! :o)

41 Comments

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Mel - posted on 04/07/2010

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oh tanya thats horrible. your husband should never have put you in that position.


Back in the olden days (in Australia) it was the norm to have it done, mothers where never given the choice. the babies were taken away pretty much as soon as they were born and done. My grandmother has always been furious about the fact she was never allowed to decide for herself if she wanted my father or his brother done (they were also done with no form of aneasthetic or pain relief and she said the screaming through the hospital was unbearable, you could always tell when a poor baby was being cut). Unless there is a medical reason for it to need to be done, let your son make the decision for himself when he is older. The risks are much greater when they are older (ive heard stories of men even losing thier penises) but males are born with it for a reason so why change that. There is no greater risk of an uncircumcised penis getting an infection than one that has been done, my husband and brother arent done and they have NEVER had any problems and if my next baby is a boy, he will be untampered with. Next to no children in Australia are done anymore unless you are religious or for medical reasons. If you decide you want your child circumcised you have to have a REALLY good reason otherwise they wont do it, which i think is great, it will eliminate the "talk" in the boys changerooms at school and stop any alienation of boys who might not be done and made to feel odd or different.
As long as you educate your son properly on bathtime hygeine there is no reason why he should ever have a problem. Alot of people do it cos it "looks nicer" which is a stupid reason.

Let your son decide for himself when he is older, better to have him make the decision for himself than to have him resent you should he not have wanted it done.

Tanya - posted on 04/03/2010

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It's every parent's personal choice. My son is circumsized, which wasn't my decision. My husband made the decision and I argued against it, however, my husband was adamant. I was furiously angry and made my husband watch the procedure w/ me. It was horrible! I watched as they strapped my son down and cut the foreskin off. I was so angry w/ my husband I couldn't even speak to him civilly and I was genuinely appalled. My son was given a local anesthetic, and I can't imagine what pain my son went thru and the trauma of it. It's definately something I will not forget.

Lisa - posted on 04/03/2010

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I have two boys 41/2 and 3 and neither of them are circumsized. When I was pregnant with them I did research and did not find any compelling reason for them to need to be. As someone else had said it is a personal decision.

Jennifer - posted on 04/03/2010

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to circumcise or not to circumcise... to breastfeed or not to breastfeed... to smack or not to smack... etc, etc, etc... there will always be an opposite to every burning question out there... at the end of the day, it is a personal choice... END OF STORY... stop all the criticism and find that at the end of the day, YOU made the best choice for YOUR child, just like all the other parents are doing around the world...

Rebekah - posted on 04/02/2010

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there really is no need to get your son circumsized. teach him to clean it and there will be no problems. My son is 2 and he isn't circumsized.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/02/2010

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I would let him stay the way he is intended to be.Let him decide. My son also is not circumsized. His Dad was & is happy to say his son is fully intact. I send light that people can choose to keep their sons intact.

[deleted account]

I have seven brothers, none of them have been cut. After growing up with them, never hearing of anything, I started asking. Not one of the seven men have ever had one single issue with it... and not one of them have ever considered getting the procedure done. I didn't cut my boy... because I am not going to inflict a cosmetic procedure on him without his input and opinion. Since he is too young to give that opinion, we will wait. I will ask him again when he is much much older if he would like to have it done.

Chelsea - posted on 04/02/2010

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i say leave it be my son an husband are uncut personally i dnt believe in it my boys have never had a problem its down to hygiene when your son grows up let him make the choice

Deanna - posted on 04/02/2010

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Leave him alone he is fine. Circumsicion is a religious choice unless you live in a 3rd world country. In a 3rd world country it is necessary not in a first world for medical reasons. Both my sons are complete because my hubby is against it and he is circumsized.



Leave him natural...

Lisa - posted on 04/01/2010

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Personally, I am suspicous of the "less likely to get VD" argument regarding a circumcision. I just don't buy it. Better to protect yourself from VD with condoms, abstinence and education. I think teaching a child to clean him or herself is a better option to cutting regarding bacterial infections. My husband is circumcised as have ben 99% of US men of his generation but neither are my sons and one is almost 10 and the other is 3. Soap and water work great! Also, I live in NYC, my son goes to a predominantly Jewish summer camp and he has NOT been traumatized socially by our decision not to circumcize him...In fact, he can't understand why parents would subject their children to pain and blood BEFORE there's any medically necessary reason to do so although I've explained to him the imperative of some religious dictates. Ultimately, it's your decision and your kids but I think there has been soooo much pain and misery inflicted on people in the name of "culture" that we should ALWAYS think twice before blindly acting...

Lisa - posted on 04/01/2010

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Don't get him circumcised...if for a moment you divorce yourself from your culture you'll realize just how perverted it is to cut another person's genitals...Let him make the decision to do it later, if he so chooses. I know a young man who decided in college to do it...I don't know if he's happy with it or not but it's his choice, not his parents or anyone elses...

Janelle - posted on 04/01/2010

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I have 2 sons that are not circunsized and they are now 14 and 17 years old and I have never had any problems and it does not seen to bother them in the slightest. I have had friends that have been done later down the track and they say it was among the worst memories they have. I believe it is personal choice.

Jennifer - posted on 04/01/2010

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I dont think its a bad thing. my husband is 28 and is not circumsized. I wouldnt worry about it really

Lea - posted on 04/01/2010

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Ok sorry its me again but this is true - people don't realize that there are RISKS to consider about having the procedure!!! You might be trying to prevent infection, but your baby could very well GET and infection from the procedure, and look at how many moms here have uncirc boys that have never had a single problem. I also heard a story about a procedure went wrong and one parent was forced to try to raise their son as a girl. Why can't people leave well enough alone? ok I'm done now... I think

Devon - posted on 04/01/2010

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hey, just a few things to keep in mind. if you were to get him circumsized at his age you would need to find a way to keep him "quiet" no running jumping sports basically no playing for 6 weeks after the procedure or the stitches can pull out and cause scarring and deformation of his penis. I didn't get my boys cut, my husband is and i told him if he wanted them to be that he could take them and get it done. he never did and now that they're 2 and 3 he said he wanted it done. i did some research and at a young age it really isn't a good idea, too many risks with complications afterwards. So, our plan is to let them choose when they're older and going to be becoming sexually active. If it's soemthing they're uncomfortable with than they can make the choice for themselves.

Lea - posted on 04/01/2010

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My son takes a bath every evening and thats all thats needed to keep him clean! Hes never had any infection or problem at all! Sorry for the multiple posts, I just see what people are saying and its all "old wives tales"!!!

Lea - posted on 04/01/2010

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My son wasn't cut and there have been only 2 times in his whole life (2 years - thats once a year) that he has had needed a little more cleaning in his skin fold when he was changed. Compare that to changing a girl - you have to wipe out her skin folds EVERY TIME. Please, an uncircumscribed boy does not require that much more care than a circumcised one. People are so silly.

Lea - posted on 04/01/2010

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I really don't understand how any parent can look at their poor helpless newborn baby and consider letting him be tied down, scared and not understanding what is going on and why they have been separated from their mom. Why would you let your child be mutilated like that, knowing it might not hurt while the anesthesia is on, but afterwards they sure will. I've been told its easier to clean, but come on, would you cut your baby girls labia to make it easier to clean? Why should a boy be cut? I don't agree that it should be a parent's choice. Its your child's body. It should be his choice if he wants a silly cosmetic procedure when he grows up.

Jennifer - posted on 04/01/2010

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my son is 3 & 1/2 and is intact. I'm American and am very used to just about all boys having the snip when they are born. I married a Brit and my son was born in England. his father is intact and has never had any problems and wished for his son to remain the same unless there was reason and there hasn't been. my son's never had any problems. the only thing I have concern about is now that we're divorced and live in different countries, his father will not be around to explain proper care as he gets older. not bad or anything - just something I had not planned on having to deal with lol.

as most are saying - so long as he's healthy and not having any problems, leave him be. if you are concerned at all - speak to your doctor.

Francesca - posted on 04/01/2010

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QUOTE: "I've seen some mention that God made them that way, well, he makes us all the way we are and we all alter or change something about our bodies! How many of you have your piercings? Or have tattoos? Or have done something to your body to make you feel better about yourself? God didn't make you that way, it's a choice you made. It's all a matter of personal opinion." UNQUOTE



The difference is that with tattoos and piercings it is up to the individual to decide - my parents certainly wouldn't have forced me to get a tattoo or my ears pierced. How do we know that a newborn doesn't go through the same hell and pain that a 5 or 10 year old would go through during and after a circumcision procedure?



"It is all about personal opinion", write some people but it isn't personal opinion is it? Personal opinion would be a newborn deciding to have his own penis mutilated which we all know would never happen. It is the personal preference of a third party (albeit the parents) which is what most people object to.



It's a fashion/cultural/misplaced religious thing because there is no medical evidence to suggest, electively, it is beneficial.

Elizabeth - posted on 04/01/2010

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My husband and I couldn't decide one way or the other, He said yes, I said no, we would go back and forth. When our son was born, it was very complicated delivery, there was large amounts of meconium in the fluid, and the nurse noticed that some had gotten under the foreskin. They tried to flush it out with saline, but it was ultimately decided that a circ was in his best interest to prevent both sort term and long term damage from an infection. During the circ they noticed there was quite a bit of meconium in the area. He is our only boy, we have 2 girls. I think had things gone ok, or if we had another boy he would still be intact, I hated putting him through pain so young. But it was almost 10 years ago, and I see him healthy and happy now, I have no guilt. If there is no medical or religious reason then he should be left intact, especially at 5 yrs old. Let him make the choice when he is older.

Ashley - posted on 04/01/2010

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It's all a matter of opinion and choice. I dnt think anyone is right nor wrong for their choice. I chose to circumsize my son. There's more risk for infections and other things when he gets older, and I didn't want my son asking my why he looks different from other boys...if I let him decide when he got older, and he decided to, it would be hell on him, he'll never remember the pain of it as I had it done when he was a day old. Yes, they can get infected and the skin can grow back, but if you properly take care of it then there shouldn't be any problems! I would never not have my son circumsized...but like I said, it's all a matter of personal opinion. Good luck!

[deleted account]

We did not circumcize our two boys. They are now 4 and 2. I did research the issue when we were expecting our first child. There is a lot of conflicting medical information out there about it, and because of that, I felt that it was just a personal choice, or perhaps a religious choice. Since we're not Jewish, it just didn't seem necessary to me. At the time I researched it, circumcism rates were about split 50-50 (though who really knows?) So, I left it up to their dad to decide and he was very opposed. If you made that decision 5 years ago, why change it now? I think it would be very difficult to explain to a 5-year-old why you need to do this.

Crystal - posted on 04/01/2010

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We didn't circ our son, and he'll be 2 next month. Absolutely no problems. As long as he's able to pee just fine and isn't getting infections, there is nothing to worry about. The doctor checks to make sure it's developing properly, where the foreskin is concerned, but doesn't pull it back where it rips or anything. Other than that check, it's left alone. We got such trouble from our relatives for not doing it! My folks were willing to be educated; hubby's weren't. But our nephews are circed and one had to have it redone 3 times as he got older due to infections and the skin growing back, and the other has terrible scarring! Hubby has scarring and he's circed, but wishes he wasn't. We don't see why it should be done, unless your religion or a medical reason requires it absolute. To us, it's along the same lines as female mutilation - you don't cut on girls, why do you want to on boys? Besides, it's how we were made, so why fix what isn't broken? He can decide later on what to do with his own body if he wants it, but I doubt he will.

Julie - posted on 04/01/2010

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The selling point for me to NOT do it was reading about a group of men who were very angry their parents cut them for "no reason" and even some had re-constructive surgery.

I figure my guy is going to hate me over something at some point in his life ... I'd rather it NOT be over an elective (for him) surgical procedure.

Ruth - posted on 04/01/2010

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this is a subject that always bothers me. i don't understand why mothers worry so much about circumsizing their sons! it is not at all necessary. there is no greater risk of infection where no circumcision has taken place in comparison to where there has been circumcision. Another reason mothers do it, is because their husband is circumsized and they don't want the child wondering why they look that different from their dad. In that case, it is your husband's parents that are making a huge decision for you as a mother to your son, as they are the ones that decided for whatever reason to circumsize your husband.
another thing is religion...that's another story.
Bottom line is, God made men with foreskin, why on earth would he do that only to have them cut off!! The poor child. What unnecessary pain and discomfort!
I have so much more to say but I think you get my point! :) Hope this helps.

Francesca - posted on 04/01/2010

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There are more downsides to having a child circumsized than benefits (complications with the procedure, pain, infection, loss of sensitivity). Infection in a normal, intact penis occurs from poor hygiene or trauma injury such as the foreskin being pulled back.

Our son's pediatrician strongly recommended that we didn't have him cut (not that I would have even considered it in a million years) as it is totally not necessary and causes unnecessary pain and suffering on a child who has no ability to express his own wishes on what is done to his body).

Lady - posted on 04/01/2010

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In the UK no babies are circumsized unless for medical or religious reasons, so hardly any. I don't know anybody who is circumsized and don't know of anybody who has ever had any problems. It's just not neccesary, boys are born with a foreskin for a reason, if he chosses to get rid of it when he's older then that will be his choice but I know my son and husband cringe at the thought that someone would take part of their body away.

Crystal - posted on 04/01/2010

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u can get it done its going ot hurt hiim more now than it woud as a baby he will rememeber it to unlike as a baby he may start getting infections if u dont i had a friend that happened to her little boy good luck

Tracie - posted on 04/01/2010

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My husband is uncircumcised and we chose to not circumsize our son because of that. My husband is 35 years old and has never had a single infection or any complications. He has heard that different studies have shown that uncircumsised males have more sensitivity during intercourse because you haven't cut off that bundle of nerves in the foreskin. Honestly, I think people are under the impression that you HAVE to circumsize. When we were taking Lamaze classes we got a tour of the hospital and they pointed out where the procedure would be done if you so chose. One of the ladies in class said to another, "Oh, I hate to think about it. But you have to do it, right?" No...you don't...

Lucinda - posted on 03/31/2010

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I would just leave it alone, both my boys are intact and we never considered it and cannot understand why people want it done anyhow! It's how we were created....why tamper with it!

Amy - posted on 03/31/2010

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if he hasn't had infection upon infection - you're fine. HE's fine. I think by now, just wait it out and when he's 18 if he wants it done, he can get it done. Most people I know are choosing to keep their boys intact. And the boys I know when they got old enough are SO thankful mom and dad left it alone. ??? Guess they like it. lol. It's never too late to do it, but unless there is a medical reason, it's really unnecessary. My son isn't circ-ed and he has had zero problems. My nephew IS circed and has had crazy infections since day one. I mean, think about it. it's an open wound by where they poop. i don't know, the more i researched it when i was pregnant, the more it just seemed healthier for so to leave it alone. plus, nearly no insurance covers it because they deem it "cosmetic". fyi. whatever decision you make, be sure you, your hubby AND son are in on hte conversation. maybe he, being 5, doesn't want THAT cut. it's not a bad thing to leave it uncirced. he'll be fine.

Chantelle - posted on 03/31/2010

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My son didn't get circumsized when he was born. He is now 19 months, and i haven't had any problems with it getting infected or anything like that. & I think at five years old might make it harder and make it more painful for him. And I agree with Carolee let him make the decision on his own when he is older :)

Carolee - posted on 03/31/2010

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At this point, you should probably wait and let him make that decision for himself. As long as it's not getting infected or anything, I wouldn't worry about it.

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