My son will be 2 next month, and he throws awful tantrums. Screaming and hitting me and biting himself. What are some good ways of calming him down without getting frustrated?

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Claudia - posted on 05/07/2009

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ignore it. The more u pay attention to it the worse it gets. whenever he doesn't get his way and start throwing a TT leave the room. That if u are at your house and you know he is gonna be safe in such room. Hopefully he will calm down on his own and when he does talk to him. get down to his eye level and in a normal voice explain to him in simple words that when he does that you can't understand what he wants. Encourage to express his emotions such as i'm upset, or w/e he is and to talk to you. Explain to him that by talking mommy will understand what baby needs or wants. If you raise your voice or start yelling at him you will only make him worse cuz he wants your attention but he is trying to get it in the wrong way. I hope this helps u. good luck

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Valerie - posted on 05/17/2009

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i have a 21month old and what works best with him is to redirect him when he's flipping out. i just get him interested in something else. so far it has worked every time. he usually only flips out when he's frustrated because he can't verbalize what he wants. but i find when i get him interested in something else, he calms right down. good luck i know its frustrating for both of you just remember to try to stay calm, the more you get upset, the more he will.

Kate - posted on 05/15/2009

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my son at that age would attempt testing, and ANY child can get to tantrum stage. my philosophy is that they are finding a way to control you. tantrums can be extremely effective for them as they see how upset it can make the parents. when my son would try to give any type of attitude, he had a consequence. being nice and giving more than one chance can show your child they have power, and toddlers love to negotiate. if you can, i would discipline him however you do it before he gets to tantrum stage. and if the tantrum continues, work with him for however long it takes to show him that it is unacceptable. being firm and serious, but of course not showing anger or crying or any emotion to them. it may take HOURS in the initial battle, but it WILL work if you resolve that you won't change your game plan (time outs - keep picking him up and doing the time out a million times if you have to, etc). BUT once you get the initial battle out of the way (assuming you WON the battle) your son will realize that he is going to have to do his time out or whatever it is you choose, and he will learn to give in much faster and believe that you will hold him to it. it's really a game for them, to see what they can get us to do. but the battles will be less and less once you prove to him that you are in charge. at the age your son is at, trying to convince him to behave or trick him to behave can slow your progress down with him. he needs to know that behaving like that will not give him any type of reward - soothing him down in a sense could be showing him that he gets that attention when he goes that far. but once he conciedes to not tantruming, giving him praise and THEN going to lay down and read and throwing the attention and fun can affirm your love and care for him and show him that when he listens, he gets all that lovely attention. it's tricky, and some may not agree. but finding what works for you is of course the most important thing.

Emily - posted on 05/14/2009

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I remember my mom use to pull out the camera and take pictures of every camera I ever had. Took away from my thunder. my dad use to make fun of my pouting too, "you call that pouting? come on stick that lip out! lets see some real pouting" it's hard when no one takes you seriously. Maybe that's effected me more than I know..Hmmm...

Mayada - posted on 05/14/2009

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My duaghter does the same, I got worried so I asked her doctor she told me the best way to dealwith this is ignore her totally just make sure she 's in a safe place she won't hurt herself, and don't feel embaressed if u're in a public place everyparent has gone through that, the tantrums eventually go away just dont scream or shout and when they're gone simply hug ur child and let him know in a very calm voice that this was a very silly thing to do and it makes mommy sad. I've been trying this for a while it's getting better but know it will take time to stop.

PS make sure the daddy is on board too cuz it doesn'tworkif u ignore it and someone else jumpsto the rescue pampering and submittingto the child's demands.



Hope this helps, Hang in there

Ann-Marie - posted on 04/15/2009

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My son went through this too, the hell came when I tried to tell him off or punish him to stop him doing it...just made things work. I make it sound easy, but keep calm and take him away from the situation or distract him. The worst you can do is gets stressed yourself cos then he learns that behaviour. Good look, you will get through it

Dana - posted on 04/15/2009

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my son went thru this the worst you can do is yell, or punish i simply took my son in a quiet room told him we needed a break layed down with him and sang to him or read to him it works everytime they just need you and only you at that moment. do you have more than one child close in age, they may feel they are not getting the one on one they desire. its really just about calming them down in a loving way he is just overwhelmed with emotion and doesnt know what to do if you start this technique he will learn when he gets upset he just needs some quiet time. hope it helps it helped me.

Teyaka - posted on 04/15/2009

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Throw tantrums with him! Turn it into a joke for yourself. After a while he'll see how silly it looks and MAY stop. Its not a guarentee, but its worth a shot.

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