My toddler won't let my partner near me

Amanda - posted on 06/16/2010 ( 7 moms have responded )

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hi i was just wondering if anyone could help me with my son..



i am a stay at home mum and my partner works... every time my partner ( son's father) gets home our son goes wired and wont let me go near my partner if i do he screams or whines untill i move away then all he wants me to do is pick him up and hold him... and then he will go up to his dad and hit or kick him we have tried tellin him off putting him in another room for time out we have tried doing it back to him ( just a tap) and then he laughs at us or things it's a game and keeps doing it... he is also back in our room cause he wont sleep thu the night unless he knows i am in the same room or near him or touching him... i am at my whits end with him please



anything to help would be great... Amanda

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Matu - posted on 06/21/2010

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My 18 months old cries and come to me if we sitting and lean on each other or even holding hands she screams bananas. I feel better that I'm not the only one going through this.

Louise - posted on 06/17/2010

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You have to reinforce your space. I know it is hard but you really do need to get him into his own room. Your bedroom is your space and believe me if you do not reclaim it now you will have terrible trouble later. As for your husband he has to get used to seeing his father near you as this is just dominating. Sit next to your partner and when he starts causing a fuss tell him off say no daddy gets a cuddle too. If he hits out then put him in another room or a playpen away from you both. You can not give into this as it will get worse as he gets older. Your poor husband must feel very dejected that he is not allowed to cuddle his wife without all this fuss. You need to sit together every night until he stops this behaviour, the more he sees this the less he will react if he knows that you are going to sit together whether he plays up or not. Try and let father and son do activities together without you in the room. Let dad bath him on his own every night so the bond grows between them and your son is inclined to go to dad as well as mum for affection.

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Karla - posted on 06/19/2010

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Amanda I am stay at home right now my daughter will be 3 in August.

She went through the same phase when my mom or husband came around me. We had to be consistent and kept punishing her when she would scream/whine or strike out when they were near me.

It took time but we refused to let her get away with it. What you need to do is figure out a punishment that will work. Our daughter hated being in time out or having a few of her toys taken away.

We also had issues with her sleeping too. We ended up just having to let her cry or throw her fit we did not go to her because that was what she was wanting.

It was such a nightmare when it was happening but in the end it has helped out so much.

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When he starts getting aggressive and whiny about your partner you need to stand your ground.
He needs to realize that he does not own you. That you are allowed to be affectionate with others.
Allow him to sit on the other side of you but not between you. If he starts to whine or hit at you then put him down on the floor and firmly tell him that he can't sit with you until he stops.
Encourage some one on one time between him and your partner and also try to make some one on one time for you and your partner.

If he was sleeping in his own room without issue before then all that has happened is a bout of separation anxiety. You need to move him back to his room if you don't want to be cosleeping. It will be a rough week as you go through the stubborn crying to try and get back to your bed, but worth it.
Just remain calm, go in periodically to lay him back down, offer a comfort toy and tell him you love him and you will see him in the morning.
If co sleeping works for all of you (you, partner and child), then I wouldn't worry about that so much.

Good luck!

Amanda - posted on 06/16/2010

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he goes to daycare once a week just so i can do my bills and stuff... my mum sometimes takes him but all my friends work who have kids arounf the same age he is 18months...

Autumn - posted on 06/16/2010

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have you tried having someone else watch him once or twice a week? i personally don't want my kids in daycare but its probably because you are always around he's so dependent on you. i'm going through the same thing with my daughter except its towards me! she's a complete daddys girl so were trying to work through the same thing! maybe have someone watch him who has another kid around the same age? it might take you off his mind to have a little friend! good luck!!

Jen - posted on 06/16/2010

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i cnt help with wht to do but im a stay at home mum too my 19 month old does it too if my man grabs my hand or goes to give me a kiss my toddler moves in the middle of us or winges

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