My two year old is waking up during the night and wanting to come into my bed. How can I stop this?

[deleted account] ( 4 moms have responded )

I recently started work after five years at home looking after my two boys. My eldest JP is 4 and in kinder this year and my youngest WP is two years old. WP has been sleeping through the night since about 18 months. He is now waking during the night and wanting to either come into my bed or have me come into his bed until he goes to sleep. This can occur 1-3 times a night. I am getting tired and stressed from the anticipation of him waking up every night. I know that he is doing this because he is now in day care 3 days a week while I am at work, but I need to work because I was going 'mental' by being at home 7 days a week and I was losing my own confidence in doing everyday jobs. Does anyone have any ideas as to how I can make the changes a little easier on WP so that he can settle into the new daily routine?

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Louise - posted on 04/26/2010

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Do not get caught in this parent trap. Do not allow the child to sleep with you as this becomes a really difficult habit to break. Secondly do not sit in your childs room until they fall asleep as this is also habit forming. Reassure your child and then leave the room. Learning to self settle is what he needs to do. If you say this has just occured since the change in your circumstances then he is doing this for reassurance and control. Stand firm reassure but take control he needs to stay in his room until breakfast time. There may be tears but it is better you do this now before it turns into night after night of broken sleep. Good luck.

Rana - posted on 04/26/2010

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Just put him back to his bed and remind him that he has to sleep alone because he is a big boy. Don't be in his room for more than 2 minutes and leave. Close the door and keep standing because he might try to open it. Hold the door tight until he lets go. Don't feel bad if your baby slept on the floor. It's ok, because it's his own decision. Put him back on his bed and keep doing this for several nights until he stops. It's is not cruel. This is a discipline that your toddler needs. in order to sleep well and not look for unneeded attention. Don't feel guilty that you're working. Just give more love to your baby when you're with him. Some moms feel that they shouldn't discipline their babies because they're not even with them all day. That's just wrong, because your baby needs limits regardless of the situation. You're not doing him any harm by being in control of his attitude. You want him to be a healthy and disciplined young child.

[deleted account]

I did try that for a few nights. We ended up doing the 'bed dance' for a good two hours each night. The boy is stubborn! After talking about possible solutions with my husband we have swapped sides of the bed and whenever WP comes to me at night he encounters daddy instead! So these last two nights he has only gotten up the one time. Maybe we have solved the problem! (fingers crossed)

[deleted account]

I tell my kids to stay in bed until the sun comes up, that phrase has worked well and fixed up repeated events of getting out of bed during the night. On the now rare times they do get up during the night, I just take them back to bed and repeat the phrase and they do stay in bed. They know thats what I want from them and my bed isn't an option anymore.

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