My two year old son is sooooo mean!!!!! I am scared to even take him around other kids because of how mean he is to just his family. None of my other boys were this aggressive...ideas????

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Monica - posted on 11/12/2008

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Hi Leiani, (love your name by the way!) I also have a 2-year old. I work in pediatrics so I'm prone to reading all the child-development books out there. If your little one is being mean, aggressive, etc. it's because he's unhappy about something in his environment. At 2-years, children aren't yet able to understand how their emotions impact others. Nor can they communicate what is wrong. They act out with meaness, anger, etc to let you know they're unhappy. Perhaps he feels left out or is lacking some emotional connection. It's also possible that he's physically uncomfortable but can't tell you what doesn't feel right, so he's just mean because he doesn't feel good. If I were you, I'd start by setting aside some special time just for you and him. Play with him (boys prefer very active play... rough and tumble, etc.) maybe take him to a playground and run around, climb, swing. Then set aside time for hugs and cuddle time, reading together. Do this consistently and make a point to give him extra attention when he's with his brothers (and them too :-) ) See if this helps. And while you're giving him more one-on-one time, try to notice if he seems uncomfortable in any way which might suggest a joint or other body part hurts. It's also important to consider that someone may be hurting him when your not with him. Meaness and aggression can be early signs of different types of abuse. Very scary to have to think about, but it's also one possible explanation. Toddlers also mimic adult behavior that they see so if anyone he spends a significant amount of time with is also generally mean or negative, he could be reflecting that. Good luck... hope your little man is happier very soon.

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Lorinda - posted on 11/12/2008

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my daughter is very agressive. but im thinking its more of a phase. i know they lash out when theyre in need of something. in my case my daughter just needed to know that she was being heard.

Mallorie - posted on 11/12/2008

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I have the same problem!! My son is also veryyyy aggressive and nothing seems to help!! He's constantly hitting kids that are much older than him and making them cry. It's really embarassing and makes me feel like a horrible mom!! Help!! (:

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