Need advice for disciplining a 14mth old!!!!

Kendall - posted on 03/15/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My daughter has started spitting at people when she doesnt get what she wants!! I have tried ignoring her, i have tried covering her mouth, and just started trying time out but i feel she is too young to understand that method. Any advice will help Thank you!

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Louise - posted on 03/17/2010

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Hi,
As a special needs teacher I am amazed that your daughter has the co-ordination to be able to spit at people! Now you have the problem do not over react as children thrive on attention good or bad. If she spits ignore her totally carry on with what you are doing. Ofcourse this is difficult to the poor person she has done it to but you can explain later to them. With no reaction she will grow very bored and move on to something else. This will take a while so stick with it. At this age a child is learning rapidly fill her day with activity and overly praise for good behaviour.

Rebecca - posted on 03/16/2010

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I found with my boy that i he has a consequence to an action he responds better. For example if he is spitting i will say' if you keep spitting mummy will take your truck away'. You could try it with a favourite doll or dummy. Good luck. Remember, as hard as it is, try to stay calm and with a clear low voice.

Amanda Lee - posted on 03/16/2010

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I have a 13 month old son and he is starting to hit people, oha nd he use to bite to I just got him out of that. All that I did was with the bitting, I said no and he keep doing it and so I bit him lighty and he stopped. With the hitting its been a little hard too get him out of that, I would grab his hand and say Dont Hit that hurts! and he seems too stop at that moment. The thing is you have to be consistent or it will never work, and its always good to talk to them say why its bad.



Dont spit, that is gross or Dont hit that hurts , etc

Michelle - posted on 03/16/2010

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My son is 2 yrs now and I've been doing time outs since he was one or a little younger. I just put him in a specific spot every time. Depending on his age that would be how long he is in time out (1 yr = 1 min, 2yr =2 min,etc). He knows what time out is. If he is really being bad then he goes to his room until he can behave properly and every once in awhile he gets a slap on his diapered butt or slap on his hand depending on the situation (it never is for pain, but more for getting his attention). Mainly, be consistent and at that age explain in simple sentences. If you discipline do it right away and say why. Remember it might take awhile for them to learn and they might regress to test you. Just be consistent. Good luck.

BTW, I have 4 boys two 6 yr olds, a 4 yr old, and a 2 yr old and this seems to work for them.

Amy - posted on 03/16/2010

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redirection or taking her away from the person and firmly saying no worked for us. being consistent really is important. at all ages. they need to know if they do something bad, something will happen as a result. the only times i spanked my kids was between ages of 18 months and 3 years. now we just do nose on the wall, sent to bedroom or toy away.... i think a punishment for something bad after 3 is okay to change up because they can reason and also have no idea what you'll do or take away. i know a girl who snuck chocolate because "mom'll just spank me" like it was no big deal. but that young, they only understand cause and effect really. i think it's a good idea to have no reaction to it because sometimes they just want the reaction. let people know she's doing it so they can have the same "no reaction" so it's consistent all around, maybe?

Elizabeth - posted on 03/15/2010

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My daughter is 13 months and, I agree, just be consistent with her. I try to explain why whatever she is doing is bad even though she doesn't understand, and I just keep telling her over and over. So now when I catch her doing something she's not supposed to be doing, and I tell her no, she stops and redirects her attention somewhere else.

Brandi - posted on 03/15/2010

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At 14 mos. she does understand what you're telling her (even if she doesn't speak much yet). discipline needs to be swift and timely at this age. My son (who is now almost 2) started pinching and biting at this age. I gently tapped his mouth, told him NO and set him down and away from me. (the tap on the mouth was a shock to him, not painful at all) and he got the message pretty quick. I think the bigger part of the punishment was really distancing myself from him. He rarely bites now (usually he is trying to tug at my shirt or s.th and will grab some skin in addition to the cloth) and knows that it is important to be nice. I have also recently started time-out with him for these types of offenses (ones that harm or neg. affect others) and he seems to get the hint. Good luck. this is a tough age for discipline. Consistency is key. Whatever you choose to use, stick with it.

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