Need help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aicha - posted on 01/30/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi all I have been working with my daughter she is 15 months old and I got her on a good routine for eating and sleeping the problem I am having is my husband works overnights and all weekends and when he is home he likes to throw the routine out the window so to speak he also comes home briefly on Saturday evenings to get some food if my daughter is asleep he wakes her up to play with her and then he leaves and then she is fussy all night and into the next morning and sometimes all day Thursdays are the worst day because that is my husbands day off he doesn't think the baby should take a nap in the late morning /early afternoon and he likes to let the baby stay up all hours of the night when he is home I have tried talking to him about how routines are important to our daugther he just doesn't seem to get it and to make matters worse I am due to deliver another baby any day now please some help

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Kim - posted on 01/30/2011

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If he won't listen to you I would have the pediatrician tell him how that is not ok. That routines are the most important thing for a happy healthy baby. I don't mean to be rude, be he is being selfish and not doing what is best for his child. I would tell him that. Good thing your kids have a Daddy that wants to play, unfortunately they are all big kids and you have to show them sometimes the right way to do things. Maybe come up with a definately family time every week so that he doesn't feel like he is missing out on the kids. Put the ball in his court, ask him what would work for him that doesn't disturb the babies sleep.

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I have friends that there young kids stay up until they pass out and when I tell them that my son goes to bed at 7 they are shocked and ask me why. Its because of routines and schedules. Nap at the same time, bed at the same time, lunch and breakfast too. He just needs to understand that its the best thing to do. Let him read some of these responses maybe that will help

[deleted account]

See this is a hard one... My fiance works midnights so he is going to bed a little before or when the kids are getting up sometimes. So I have to make sure they are quiet so they can sleep. He does not understand the importance of schedules either.

Anyways,
You have to sit him down and talk to him again about it. Being on a schedule makes life a lot easier. Explain again how when the new baby comes everything will be harder for both of you. But for your sanity and his respect for you he needs to understand strict schedules are important. If the kids are on separate schedules that will be a TON more stress. He needs to understand you value his wants and opinions, but he needs to understand that when he does this it causes problems for you. Being a stay at home mom is actually a 24/7 job and very hard. What he does messes up your schedule, that crosses the line. Let him know you understand him wanting to spend time with your daughter (and baby soon), but a large mess up of schedule can cause crankiness. Good luck!

Maureen - posted on 01/30/2011

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Explain to him how exhausting it is when the routine is broken. You will need to spend more time with the new born when it comes. Is he able to stay home for even a week to see how routine is so important. Have him take care of your daughter while you take care of the baby. My husband even helped with the night time feeding when he could just by getting up and bringing the baby to me. If he has to deal with a fussy toddler during the day and assist with you at night he may finally get the importance of having a routine for everyone. Good luck.

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