Alex - posted on 08/17/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )




well me and my babys dad broke up just recently how do i handle visitation w her and him? she knows who he is and everything....and how do i deal w him as a person now that we arnt together?


[deleted account]

If you all are DONE DONE then I personally would take the custody issue in front of a court. They are there to make sure that BOTH parties have their parental rights met. And if things become difficult in the future you will all have a parenting plan, that you should make THOROUGH, who has her on what day, weekend, holiday, b-day, school vacation, etc, to go back to and keep things even steven! As far as you not being together, he is the father of your child, needs to be respected as such and hopefully he can be man enough to respect you as the mother of his child. I would make all your expectations clear as day! Make sure you set expectations for YOU too and be OPEN and honest with him, and see what he thinks as well. You both need to be on the same page when it comes to raising your daughter! She can't call up mom when dad says something she doesn't like, visa versa... some of this may be ahead of the age of your child, but having it mapped out now will help when it comes up in the future!


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Molly - posted on 08/17/2009




I've gone through this several times with my fiancee before he woke up and realized what he had. If you are just letting him visit, and you two are amicable, then it shouldn't be hard. make sure she knows that mommy and daddy arent getting along, and you want to stay at separate places, but it doesnt mean that you love her any less. my parents divorced when i was 5. my mom got custody of us, but my dad helped her out as much as he could. my parents tried to make it as normal as possible for us. many years, my dad slept on the couch at our house on christmas eve. you have to work with him to see what you both can put together and make things work for your daughter.

as far as dealing with him as a person, you both have to be open, honest, and put your childs needs before either of yours. if you lie, or keep secrets from one another, it could be hurtful to her in the long run. but at the same time, you have to be firm and make sure that you both understand what each other expects from the other. it's a hard process, no matter how much time you put into it. but you both have to be willing to make it work for the childs sake.

everything has to be about her, just like it was before.

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