need help with toddler

Hayley - posted on 12/30/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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my 3 year old has started to not use her manners, she used to say please and thank you all the time, about 6 months ago she refused to use them and she will not say please or thank you, it seems to be the more i try to get her to remember, the more reluctant she becomes, anyone got any ideas of what i can do to make her use her manners?

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Hayley - posted on 01/22/2010

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thank you, i think the problem with her is that she goes to her dads every weekend and he lets her get away with everything, she doesnt have to use her manners, she swears and he laughs at her but im sure she will get it sometime soon, she has started to say i would like rather than i want which is a lot more polite

Allie - posted on 12/30/2009

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I have had the same problem with my toddler... but you have to remember this is the age at which they test their independence. I agree with Sophie, model and if it still doesn't pick back up then be tougher.

Sophie - posted on 12/30/2009

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I think that if you make it a huge issue then they pick up on it and it becomes a bit of a game for them, making you run around after them trying to make them do something that they have decided they are definitley not going to do! My advice would be that, for example, when she asks for something and doesnt say please...ie "mummy i want a drink", you hand it to her and say something like "it's actually mummy i would like a drink PLEASE"! And keep doing it until it sticks. If it rerally doesnt stick after a while then maybe get a bit tougher, and tell her that she cant have whatever it is untill she says please/thankyou! It is a difficult one, toddlers can be very very strange sometimes and make no sense at all!

Alice - posted on 12/30/2009

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I found if you use your manners really well and then you compliment everyone who uses manners then your children also want the praise so they will use manners.

Other mothers really do understand if you comliment them too, they always play along=) I hope this helps.

Carolee - posted on 12/30/2009

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My son is 2 1/2, and if he doesn't want to use his manners, he does ABSOLUTELY nothing until he does. He will sit in time-out and I will put his toys away (the putting the toys away is what does it for him), and he will stay there until he says what he was supposed to. I think (at least for me) to truly get manners through to kids, you have to be a bit of a hard-butt. Don't let her get away with not using her manners even once, or it will happen more and more. Good luck.

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