nephew must have EVERYTHING we get for our son

Anna - posted on 06/25/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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anytime we do anything special for our son, who is 3, our 41/2 year old nephew throws a big fit over the new toy, outfit, shoes etc and then ends up getting the same exact thing, plus more. At our sons birthday, my sister in law asked me to tell her everything I am planning on getting my son so she can get her kid the same things. It is driving me nuts!!!! I dont know how to handle it and feel maybe I am being really petty but I dont know. Maybe I will start importing toys from another country. (j/k) It just sucks because I want to teach him to be an individual and now he is learning if I try to whine and throw a fit over a toy another kid has then maybe I will get it to...which doesnt work but now he sits on time out more often with nothing new. it really sucks...oh and to make it better they live in the same apartments as us. Yeah I know, time to move. any advice?

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Shayna - posted on 06/26/2010

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Well, she really seems to be the one with the problem, not you. It's her child she can't seem to keep in tact. So what if they have the same toys, their kids, who cares! I think you should absolutely move further away from her. That will mean there will be less time spent between your & her child. I definitely think if your going to bring this up with her to do it the MOST sincere and gently way, as judging another mothers parenting can turn into world war III between you guys!

Jen - posted on 06/26/2010

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dnt give in to the nephew n dnt tell ur sister in law wht ur getting your son

Chelsey - posted on 06/26/2010

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I think I might smack your sister in law upside the head (jk but not really). You have to talk to her about your feelings on the subject and if she doesn't see the problem she is going to have one big headache as your nephew gets older. There is no way I'd be telling someone what I was getting my child for her birthday just so someone else could give their kids the exact same things. Children need to learn that they aren't always going to get everything they want. If he truely wants something you could always do a sticker chart for good behaviour - putting toys away, dirty clothes in the laundry basket etc. That works with my 3 year old daughter...also cuts out some of the temper tantrums. Don't know if that helps but good luck!!!!

Lisbeth - posted on 06/25/2010

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Why would she want to get the same thing it is not very smart I mean If you guys are so close it would be so much better for both boys to have different toys so when the go to each others house the have "new" toys to play with. why don't you bring that up to your sil. as nice way to say stop buying the same things and when your nephew is over remind him that it is ok for them to have different toys b/c when he comes over he gets to play with something different and you guys can even borrow each others toys.

Carolee - posted on 06/25/2010

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I would honestly be blunt with your sis-in-law. Let her know that her child's bad behavior is influencing your child to be a brat. And I would also refuse to tell her what your son is going to get. Kids need to learn that they won't always get their way...

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