Ok I need help my daughter is three wants her dad to do everything and wants nothing to do with me

Heather - posted on 10/13/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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She also will not listen how do I get her to listen???

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I have experienced this many years ago and my daughter has as well. It can feel like your world is falling apart sometimes but always keep in mind that children change their preferences for everything, including which parent they wish to spend time with as their cycles of life keep developing. If your husband is the breadwinner and away more, your daughter probably considers you the ambassador or punishment (in her eyes) because you not only need to give love but discipline as well. I always tried to give each of my children quality time on their own with me as well as time together. Making a certain time of the day for finger painting, reading a book, massaging feet or hands etc can be great bonding time plus getting her to help with chores or deciding on foods for snacks, dinner etc.

Also when dad is home, hopefully he will be able to combine the discipline and love as well and show your daughter that you are a team working for her better interests.

The not listening? Well sadly, that is all part of their developing process. Be firm but fair is probably the best advice anyone can give there. At the end of the day, do what feels right for you. Enjoy parenthood and goodluck:)

Melissa - posted on 10/14/2009

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Encourage the relationship. I wish mine would go to dad for something! My two girls are momma's girls still. (my hubby is military and always gone) So I know how important the bond is and how much I LOVE when they play with him and do things with him.
The disrespect part is different though. Are you strict enough? Does she know she can get away with things and you will give in?
Make sure your husband knows and that he supports you when you tell her to do something. He has to know its important for her to listen to you to, and he should also correct her when shes disrespectful or disobedient.

Josie - posted on 10/13/2009

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my daughter is the same way just take some time rubing her down with baby lotion to relax her while talking sweet to her then try to read her a book before bed, thats how i broke the ice

KAREN - posted on 10/13/2009

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This is a tough one. I went through a similar thing with my son when he was one and for a long time after that. He only wanted Daddy and it just broke my heart. So, I have worked hard at developing a special relationship with him. Talk to your husband when your daughter is not around and let him know that you want to try and spend extra time with her. Take her out for special "mommy" and "daugther" time. At home, take some special time to just play just you and her. Make sure your husband is "busy" so your daughter won't be able to be with him. Also, with the listening, make sure your husband and you are consistent and stick together. Be bold and take charge and don't give in. She might have some tantrums at first and will test you to no end, but I will tell you what, my son and I have a great relationship now but he is still pretty much a daddy's boy but when mommy speaks, he knows he better listen!! lol..

Jessica - posted on 10/13/2009

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Embrace her relationship with her father and show your support. Children go through many, many stages in their younger years of which parent they would like around. The only thing I would keep an eye out for is her disrespect and getting your husband involved with that is key if he isn't already. Get him to step in sometimes to show your little one that you two are a united front and then just give it a whole lot of patience and times. I definitly wouldn't accept the not listening. Theres a book out there called how to talk so your children will listen and how to listen so your children will talk. It was great with my oldest who is now 11. Good luck!

Jess

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