"one of those things that you dont talk about"

[deleted account] ( 7 moms have responded )

Hi I have a question..

My daughter is in the process of potty-training. She is doing okay with it (only urinating so far, and a tinnnnnnny poop).

My question is.... when does it become inappropriate for the parent to keep being "the bum-wiper"?

(I've always thought that after wiping bums with diaper-changing, comes to wiping bums with potty-training. No one ever talks about these things).

My daughter is a little over 3 and I still monitor her wiping, and most of the time I do it for her. When did you stop wiping, and let them do it themselves?

(I'm afraid of her getting a vaginal infection if it isn't done properly, or if she forgets to do it).


Janell - posted on 03/11/2009




my daughter will be 4 in may, and i still do it for her, other wise shell have an itchy butt, and no one wants that! id say 4 or 41/2, sometime before kindergarten, cause no ones gonna do it for her there........and they sell at walmart or anywhere really, these flushable wipes.....called...kandoo.....theyre just like wipes, but you can flush 'em, and my daughter uses them and it get more off than just plain t.p.----just make sure you drill it in her head- FRON TO BACK.....ALWAYS FRONT TO BACK!!!!!


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Brenda - posted on 03/15/2009




I taught 3, 4, and 5 year olds at a daycare for over 3 years.  Most of the kids wiped themselves.  There were only a couple that I had to help, and that's b/c their parents did it for them.  I think you should start teaching her to do it thoroughly by herself, observing and making sure she got it all.  If she missed some, have her do it again.  The flushable wipes really help a lot, too.  The best way for her to learn is to do it herself.

Stephanie - posted on 03/14/2009




I have a 4 1/2 yr old she has been wiping herself since she was 3. I just monitor and make sure she is doing a good job. I have also bought her the wipes for the bathroom so that she can wipe with toliet paper first and then the wipes to make sure everything is off. She does a very good job. She only has trouble when she is having messy poops.

My 2 1/2 yr old we are currently trying to potty train she will not poop on the potty, i think she has done it maybe 3 times. but she will pee on it 95% of the time, she wipes herself.  Once she starts pooping on the potty it will be supervised wipes.

I think you need to have them do it and just be there to make sure it is really all clean. If it is not make sure you are showing them where they missed and how to do it.

Hope this helps!


Amanda - posted on 03/13/2009




Thank-you for asking this question, I am currently having this same problem and the comments were great help to me as well

[deleted account]

my daughter is 2 1/2, i also have a 3 year old neice, both are potty trained and both try to wipe themselves but miss a lot. My neice has experienced an infection from not wiping the proper area. The area between the vagina and butt is the most tender. I say as long as the can get it dry in that area, they should be fine to wipe themselves but if they can't then they need help. I always help my daughter with poopy but I always let her try first and explain to her that she needs to be dry!

Tracie - posted on 03/13/2009




My daughter is 4 1/2 and the only time that I still "bum-wipe" is when she has a exceptionally messy poop. She started wiping after urine on her own shortly before she turned 4 and I have only recently really encouraged that she start wiping after a bowel movement as she will start kindergarden in the fall and nobody there is going to do it for her.

[deleted account]

well, if she will be going to a public preschool when she is 4 turning 5, I would just remind her to wipe and keep monitoring her.....and let her teacher know that she needs to be reminded, that she can do it herself but that she forgets....but my niece is 5 1/2 and she still doesn't do a great job, so when she does get to preschool/K I would still make sure she is okay when she comes home....and definitely get flush able wipes...they do get off more and are easier for a younger child

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