pacifiers...

Crystal - posted on 11/23/2009 ( 28 moms have responded )

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help! i think i'm more dependent on them than my children! at what age do i get serious about getting rid of the "binky?'

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Nikki - posted on 11/24/2009

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Ok- there is no "right" age to take the paci from a child. Establishing limits on use is the first most important step. My son was not a paci child, until he got his first ear infection. My parents had him for the weekend, and my mom did the one thing she knew would work- eqaulizing the pressure in his ears! :) He only gets it at naps and bedtime, and we did use it on our 22 hour long car trip, but otherwise he does not get it. We have made a box for the "binky fairy" to come take it away when he is ready. I told him the choice is his. He knows babies use binkys, and honestly- how many 5 year olds do you see walking around with pacis?



And I disagree with the "spoiled brats" comment above. I do think some parents use it as a "plug" but the comment seemed a bit harsh. Not all parents who use them are doing it to simply shut their child up. Pacis got me and many of my friends through colic, teething, ear infections, and more. I don't think any of my friends or I am "lazy" for still letting our 2 year olds use their paci... :)

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Brandy - posted on 12/05/2009

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Tanya I agree with you 100% to help get you child off have them thorw it away it helped with my daugther

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I have read all the post put here today and regardless of what opinions are it does not give advise on what one person could do to wean or remove the dummy. I have a large family and these discussion remind me of them. I have three children and two had dummy and one did not I decided to persevere and not give into temptation and give a my daughter a dummy because of the problems of weaning my first to of which were boys. My boys were giving the dummies by well meaning grandparents and the kids love them. But yes it could be considered laziness as I did not want the hassles of thye crying. NOW how I weaned them were I told them my eldest was 3 and then other 2 that babies needed the dummies and we had to grow a dummy tree so we cut it up and planted it under a tree. it worked no whining or crying and the tree grew lemons but by that time they have forgotten about it and they have no urge to take anybody else's and IT WAS THERE CHOICE. As for my daughter she sucks her fingers but she is weaning herself of that. Another is do not buy any more and the child will eventually throw it away themselves. And taint the taste of it so it does not taste right, another is to remove it until bed time, not nap time but bed time at night, It used to drive me nuts putting the things back in after they lost it at night, fingers are much better because they do not lose it. Dummies have pro and cons but it is what is right

Tanya - posted on 12/02/2009

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I didn't fight with anyone. I replied when people were saying things about my opinion. I'm not upset, I couldn't care less what you do with your child. Let them run around acting like babies for the rest of their lives, that's your problem. If you call me out and I will say something. I just gave my opinion.. and bash me for it all you want I don't care. I'm not the fool putting a plug in my 2 year old's mouth. Good thing you don't care what anyone thinks about you.

Erin - posted on 12/02/2009

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actually i DONT care what you or anyone else thinks of me giving MY son a binky at night and naptime, and i never said you hate people that give their kids binkies, i said you were a binky hater. i think its funny that you are getting this upset about other people doing things that you don't feel is right. i mean they are their kids not yours. you are right, the person asking this question wanted opinions, but i think you went a little too far trying to fight with every single mom that gave theirs........have a great day :D:D

Tanya - posted on 12/02/2009

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I don't hate people that give their kids binky's. this is just getting ..pretty stupid. You people ask for opinions! and I think it's fine to give your kid a binky (but they don't NEED it!) but it should be gone by the time they are 1. If some of you want to have your 2-4 year old walking around with a binky in their mouth affecting their speech and making them look like a baby and are fine with it..more power to ya. Whatever, it's not my problem. And obviously you DO care what people think about it, because you're getting all bent out of shape about it. My point is, the child doesn't NEED the thing so it shouldn't be such a big deal to just take it away, unless you just can't be an adult and show your kids that YOU are the boss not them. OR you can just let your kids decide everything in his/her life and let them walk all over you for the next 18 years..it's your choice. maybe you binky huggers should "get over it". Have a nice day :D

Erin - posted on 12/01/2009

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my son still uses his at naptime and bedtime (he turned 2 in october). he uses it to fall asleep then he spits it out, i feel in MY OPINION that that is ok for me and my son, and i really dont care what anyone else thinks about it :) if you really want your child not to have one then i guess you need to just take it away, they will get over it in time. the last time i checked binkies weren't dangerous, the binky hater needs to get over it.

Tanya - posted on 12/01/2009

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it's not rude, it is an opinion. there is no reason for a pacifier, all 4 of my kids did just fine without one...EVER. They all cut teeth, went to sleep, etc just fine. If a mother of 4 has time to sooth her children enough not to have one without having any thumb suckers, anyone can do it, If you are going to give the child one, it should be gone by the time they are one. Toddlers should not be walking around with a binky in their mouth or asking for binky. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

Brandi - posted on 12/01/2009

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Every baby/parent is diffrent my Oldest daughter was attatched to her paci because of terrible colic and ear infections. EVERY child has something that is a soothing/comfort attatchment be it a paci/teddy bear/blanket etc. So to say that a mother is lazy b/c she has a 2 year old who still takes a paci is just down right rude. I dont consider my self lazy that my now 3 year old replaced her paci with a blanket to sleep with for naps and bed time or when she is sick. She knows that when she goes to preschool she can not bring her blankie with her but she will have it at night.

You can do like others have said and have a paci/binkie fairy box and when they put it in that night replace it with something else a small teddy/blankie.

Hope this helps.

Nikki - posted on 11/30/2009

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We do all have our opinions, some obviously stronger than others. :) I give my son his only when he sleeps. He is down to not even having it at nap. I DO agree with you that some parents use it as a crutch. I have been a professional nanny for 15 years. I have seen the gambit with binkys and without. I would have taken his away at age 1, but with the multiple ear infections and stomach issues he had, the binky was his only comfort at night. Is it selfish of me to want a good nights sleep? Without the paci, I was getting 2 to 3 hours of sleep per night. With it he is able to self soothe. I just think this should be every parents choice, you know your own child best. And honestly- as I said before what child is 4 or 5 and has one still? By 3, it should be gone. And limits should be set. Not a plug. Its a pacifier.

noun
1. a person or thing that pacifies.
2. a rubber or plastic device, often shaped into a nipple, for a baby to suck or bite on.

–verb (used with object), -fied, -fy⋅ing.
1. to bring or restore to a state of peace or tranquility; quiet; calm
2. to appease

This article here is very useful on pacifiers...
http://www.babyzone.com/baby/nurturing/a...

Kara - posted on 11/30/2009

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I think that the most important thing is not to be a judgmental person. Every child is different and every mother is different. When you feel that it is time then it is time. In the mean time, I think that all the mothers who are being nasty about other mothers should think about all the things that they do that others don't agree with before they say mean things. Binkies are not a danger to a child...save your stones for the child abusers.

Tanya - posted on 11/30/2009

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there IS a time you are supposed to take them off of that pacifier. AND the bottle. When the babies are little I can understand you giving them a binky but I believe after a year it makes the parent look as if they don't care, kind of like they are trying to keep this kid a baby as long as they can. You shouldn't let the child tell you when they are ready, though. That's like letting them decide when to potty train, if that where the case we'd be changing our children's diapers at 6 years old. Its a matter of when the parents feel like putting the time and effort into helping there child develop as a person. we all have our opinions..

Keenan - posted on 11/30/2009

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My son is 13 months old. He still uses a binky. I was reading some of the posts that people have posted and I disagree. Its a personal decision that parents need to make when to take their child off the "binky". Just beacuse they can walk or maybe talk doesnt mean that that means yank the binky away. If a parent decides not to use a binky from the time of birth, thats them. I chose to. Not out of "laziness". It was because reading books and going to classes I learned that a binky soothes them. They are born with that sucking reflex. And thats just about all they can do. I find that it still soothes my son. Now that he is a year he only wants it to go to sleep, or if we are cuddling together. If it comforts your child..why not give it to them?? I feel that when they are ready to give it up they will let you know. Talking to my mother a couple of nights ago we had this same conversation. And she gave me some pointers. Especially when to take Natey off the bubba and to the sippy cup. But when your child is ready he will let you know. And in the end you are the parent. So dont let others affect your decision making.

Rebecca - posted on 11/27/2009

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I took my sons away when he was 1 with no problems. When I had my frist daughter he would sometimes take the binky and I would just tell him it was for his baby sister. She never got used to it and no she is not a thumb sucker. When I had my second daughter my first tried to take it a few times but I told her the same thing I did with my son. She didn't get used to it either. I have heard though you should take it away as soon as they know how to take it out and put it back in their mouth.

Nicole - posted on 11/27/2009

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With my 4 year old she was off it alittle after she turned 2....Now, my 1 year old is using one & the doctor says she needs to be off it...but I just cant...when shes screaming & the only thing that calms her is her "sassy"....my plan is the same with my 4 year old...When the baby is about to be 2 I will start to wein her off it then by 2.5 hopefully shell be off completely...Good luck with it...

Naomi - posted on 11/26/2009

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to the person with the four perfect children, dont judge till you have walked in someone elses shoes. i agree with nikki, my daughter has suffered really bad colic and that was the thing that the midwife said to give her to stop her screaming the house down 24/7, and she did, literally scream 24/7 and because she had belly aches the only thing she wanted to do was feed off me and that made her worse so as i said unless you have walked in someone elses shoes dont be so quick to judge someone elses life so harshly unless you know what some people have gone through.. i do aree that children should not have them out in public when they reach a certain age but harsh saying that its lazyness. my daughter is only allowed it when it is sleep time. It is also proven that children that suck their thumbs are worse off that the children that have dummies. crystal, there is no right time it is when you are ready!!!!!!!!

Kimberly - posted on 11/25/2009

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My daughter was on a pacifier until she was a little over 2 years. She wanted it all the time especially at bed time or nap, she would try to put 2 at a time in her mouth that's how attached she was to it. I started weaning her off just giving at bed time and nap, I finally got sick of it, she would lose them, I'd have to buy another one, then one day she left hers at my sisters and I told her that she left it and she needs to go to bed without it. She asked for it within the next couple of days but I just told her that she's a big girl and she doesn't need it anymore and she never asked for it again, I wish I would have done it sooner because now she puts everything in her mouth, chews on everything like a baby (she's almost 3 years old) and the worst part is that she is a very bright child. So don't wait too long.

Tanya - posted on 11/25/2009

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that is ridiculous for a 2 year old to have a binky! after they turn 1 and are walking, that thing should be chunked out the window. I have a son that will be 2 in January and I can't imagine him running around with a binky in his mouth. He was REALLY attached to his bottle when he turned one but a week after his birthday, we took it away. He cried a little bit but he was over it quick. I say it makes the parents look lazy,because they can't deal with a crying kids for a little while so they don't walk around with a binky hanging out of their mouth all the time. I have 4 children age 4, 3, 22 months,& 6 months and none of them have ever cried so bad that I need to shove a pacifier in their mouth to shut them up. I guess we all have different parenting styles....or my kids must be angels because they've went through teething and everything without a binky & without drinving me crazy..

Kathleen - posted on 11/24/2009

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I agree with Nikki....although my children never really seemed to like them, my oldest used one the longest...about six months...when we gave her a new one, she refused it....the others (four more) never took to them at all...wished some nights that they would as sleeping soundly was an issue for a while....you know your child....if you can distract them from it with other things then maybe time to try to throw them out...

Mindy - posted on 11/24/2009

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We tried to take Landins at 1 and then really stuck 2 it when he turned 2!! It's all about getting through the 1st week! But make sure you have all your "missing" pacifiers found because if you don't trust me, they will! We just kept telling him thats what he needs to do if he wants to be a "big boy". GOOD LUCK!!

Tanya - posted on 11/24/2009

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I think a child should be off the "binky" by the time they are able to walk. When they are looking for their binky, I think they are to old for it. I can't stand seeing a kid that can walk and talk using a pacifier! I have 4 children and I NEVER gave any of them a binky. I can't believe there are kids that are 3 years old having binky's. I don't think a toddler should have a pacifier, it's the same as watching a baby walk around holding their bottle. In my opinion it makes the parents look lazy once the baby is a toddler, if your kids cries don't just shove a binky in their mouth..play with them or if that doesn't work it won't kill your toddler to let them cry for a minute. You don't want to baby them forever, then you just end up with a spoiled brat.

Kimberly - posted on 11/23/2009

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oh my, i know how that is, i tried taking my sons binkey when he was a year and i had another little boy and now he just takes his

Naomi - posted on 11/23/2009

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i found i am the same with the dummies, my oldest daughter samantha who will be three in feb still has hers. my hubby doesnt want me to by her anymore as he thinks she is getting too old. when ever you feel comfortable to be able to deal with the crying and able to spend the time to help your child get over their loss then thats the time to do it. better earlier than later though as i know that im gonna have a terror of time trying to get sam antha to sleep with out it now she is older. for older children i have heard people say they told their children dummy faries come to look after them and replace with some present or something along those lines! which i may be using on sam when she hits 3. i think she will be old enough by then to understand that by then.

Jennifer - posted on 11/23/2009

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I have heard and seen that around 6 months old they would be able to go without it without really remembering it was around! However, my daughter still has hers and she just turned 16 months and it has been a life saver when she is teething or sick because it just calms her so well and gives her a chance to help those teeth break through the skin (We use Soothies!!!) I talked to a dentist friend of mine and he said that nowadays dentists would rather a paci problem than a thumb sucking problem which it would more than likely become if took the paci away prematurely. He said they are seeing that the paci does not harm teeth like we once thought but the thumb sucking is terrible for them. I say let them have their paci and one day they will just give it up and move on maybe giving the paci away to a younger family member or friend! Hope this helps!

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