Please Help

Ashley - posted on 12/19/2009 ( 13 moms have responded )

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My daughter is now 12 months old and still doesn't understand the word no. She will put her hand in the garbage in the washroom and I will say no in a stern voice and she just looks at me and smiles and will do it over and over. She will also make a mess or grab something and I will say no and still nothing. I want to know what is the best way to say no or a better way to do it. It's just frustrating since I am a single mom and am doing it on my own

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Tara - posted on 12/23/2009

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she's just testing you. around 12 months is when the terrible twos stage begins. you just have to pick her up and redirect her. "NO" will not work with her. my son is 18 months and the more i tell him no the more he acts out, so now i just bring him from the area and tell him why he cant be over there.

Carolee - posted on 12/22/2009

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She's just testing you. Stay consistant and try different forms of discipline (for at least a couple of weeks each) and see what works with her. All kids are different, so taking toys away may work for one child, time outs for another... it takes a little while to find what works as punishment. Good luck, though.

Kristen - posted on 12/22/2009

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My son is the same way. I found that saying no doesn't really work all that great. I agree with the other mom, that it almost challenges him to do it more. And worst of all, and even more annoying to me he would just say it back to me over and over! I have learned to re-direct attention with my son. When he does something I don't want him to, I explain to him why I don't want him to do it, say let's not do that and then show him something that he can do. Pull out one of his toys and play with him a bit. Then he usually forgets what he was doing in the first place. I think he mostly does it because he is bored and wants my attention. So, if I give him something else to do, he usually moves on! Hope that helps a bit!

Rachel - posted on 12/20/2009

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no and a little pat on the hand will do it. not to hurt but to get her attention. like "hey i am talking to you"

girls i think are stubborn too :)

Brenda - posted on 12/19/2009

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I was in the same position when my son was that young. You might think it's too young, but I started spanking at 9 months. Not hard enough to hurt him, just enough to scare him. (I was talking to a cop and he said that's what I should do, lol). I think pretty much anything that'll scare her will work though. She's too young to understand what words mean, but not too young to understand cause and effect.

My son liked to turn up the volume on the TV, (Turn the knob, the volume goes up, what a fun game) then I starded spanking him and the effect wasn't so much fun anymore.

Hope this is helpful for you.

User - posted on 12/19/2009

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My son loves it why I would say NO. It was like challenging him to do something. I had to get creative....and I only reserve NO for things that will HURT him badly! I make dialog like..."Oh Look at mommy in the eyes and hear my words. If we put our hands into the trash we will get icky germs on them and then we need to wash them." At 12 months they are discovering their worlds still and messes are just going to happen. When they do...let the child know it is not funny or appreciated. Say "We do not make messes!" When you see your child about to make a mess try to re direct her attention to something more constructive like helping you....clean something up or a toy that may be nearby! My son loved getting to stand in a chair at the sink and wash plastic dishes. Sure there was mess involved.....but part of his learning that cleaning messes has be done...was that he had to wipe the water up when he finished. It became fun for him. Hang in there and dont get MAD....she knows you love her and would never leave her....that is why she challenges you....she wants to know how far she can push you.....its so hard to stay consistent but you must.....and others in your life like your parents and friends need to be allowed to be consistent too. Its hard for grandmothers to tell babies NO but tell your mom that is would help you teach your daughter if she would back you up on what things are No Nos.

Ashley - posted on 12/19/2009

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yea today because I keep the cleaning products hidden in my bathroom she found it picked it up and I freaked and screamed out now, took her and scrubbed her hands with soap and water. so now I just throw everything int he bathtub since she can't get into there

Candice - posted on 12/19/2009

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say no once, then actually stop her...remove her from the situation. if she pitches a fit, let her. if she does it again, it's no again and remove her again. and again...and again. it's consistency that works in the long run, as hard as it is in the short term. I warn my daughter "if you do that again you can sit by yourself"...and follow through. they will figure it out eventually.

Ashley - posted on 12/19/2009

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I have tried all of that. I think she does it mostly for attention. Since it is just her and I and I am busy with something that is when she misbehaves. I take her to the mall and she loves that, she gets so much attention because she will wave and say Hi to people and when she gets their attention and they respond she is so happy. But the mall everyday gets very boring and makes me spend money I don't want to spend lol. She also loves it when my boyfriend comes down from toronto ( he's not her father, her father won't even come see her, only seen her 3 times ) and he will give her all the attention when I am doing dishes or cleaning so he has been a blessing lol.

Brandi - posted on 12/19/2009

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It's her age. She actually does understand the word no, she's testing you to see what will happen if she doesn't listen. My son did the same thing. you have to be REALLY consistent and if something is dangerous for her to do (i.e. garbage makes germs, tvs can fall on kids, stairs can be hazardous) I used to smack my son's fingers while I told him no. It still takes time and he used to laugh at me, but now (he's 19 mos) he *usually* listens to me when I tell him to stop. Its a game to them at this age. Just wait it out and be consistent, It will get better. :-))

Tara - posted on 12/19/2009

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i was a single mom to with my first baby. it is hard but u can do it. when saying no, yes a stern voice but also after the second time pick her up as ur saying no and put her in a deferent environment, like in with her toys. try that out for a while and if still nothing start tapping her hand when u say no and move her away again. hope it works out, :)

Ashley - posted on 12/19/2009

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lol yea, I don't know why she likes to put things in the garbage and then take things out. So I decided to put the small bathroom garbage in the bathtub along with other stuff she would get into in the bathroom and then when it's time for a bath or shower I'll just take it out.

Helen - posted on 12/19/2009

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my lil boy is 2 and he still insists on doing all the things that he knows is wrong for example he also will touch the rubbish bin despite knowing he will end up on the naughty spot not the 1st time he touches it lol but after he has been there for couple of times just to touch it he will end up on the naughty spot at the mo he is very defiant an has terrible twos lol just b persistant with her she is only one bless her good luck

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