PLEASE HELP! My son is almost 10 mo. old he has just started having tantrums. I have no idea how to handle it. He screams, kicks and hits. He wont stop till he gets what he wants, or what I think he wants. I don't want to just give him food or a bottle everytime, because then he will associate it with the tantrum. What should I do?????

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Nikki - posted on 02/22/2009

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You shoul try to work with him on some baby sign language to help him communicate his needs. A lot of tantrums for any age child can be avoided if the child is able to communicate. When I was teaching we had a little one with that same problem. Also- check out the books The Happiest Baby on the Block and The Happiest Toddler on the block. The teqniques in those books are lifesavers!

Kristi - posted on 02/16/2009

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Hi.  I have an 18 mos old and she has been having tantrums since 12 mos.  It really depends on the tantrum for me.  If she is frustrated about something, I will tell her she's okay and try to show her how to do something, etc.  Usually if I give her a hug and help her, she will calm down.  If she is just acting out bc she didn't get her way, I tell her I love her and I walk away from her.  She usually settles down after a few minutes.  When she does it while I change her, I usually use a method of distraction, such as a toy or a book.  If I don't have one handy, I will give her something, the diaper cream bottle or a clean diaper, just until I am done changing her to keep her busy.  Works like a charm!  Regarding the hitting, we have the same issue...we just hold her hand tightly and give her a stern "no" and tell her that hurts.  Luckily, like the tantrums, its a phase and they will eventually grow out of it.  I hope this helps.  I understand your frustration!  Hang in there!  God bless.

Sara - posted on 02/15/2009

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yep children will always test ur weaknesses and by ignoring it will make him see u will not give in and realise that is not how to get mums attention..it can be hard not to get angry..ive been there and eventually works...my daughter is now 3 and doesnt do it to me anymore..it took awhile but it worked..

Sarah - posted on 02/15/2009

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Well what i used to do for my daughter was IGNORE her.. i know it sounds stupid and you may think it wont work. but IT DOES!! it also may sound a little harsh to just ignore you child but it works like a charm.. you may have yo ignore them for a while but i did it with both my kids and my daughter is now 14 months and my son is 28 months so im still doing it with both.. eventually your son will walk away or just stop..

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Braedonjm - posted on 02/27/2009

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Ignore him. If he's getting you to engage- then he won't stop. Just turn away and start playing with a toy or reading a book. I know it's hard. Each one will hopefully get shorter as he realizes your not playing his game. It really is a first phase where he's realizing he has power over you :) Good Luck!

Amber - posted on 02/27/2009

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Good advice Jennifer I will try that- always hesitant to sing- pretty sure I could deafen them.... Thanks!

Jennifer - posted on 02/27/2009

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When my 20 month old daughter starts throwing a tantrum while I'm changing her and I don't have something to give her to occupy her, or she just threw the diaper/cream/or whatever I try handing her... sing a song! Kids love songs, they don't care how you sound but love when mom/dad can sing a song... The Itty Bitsy spider always works, or the Wheels on the bus go round and round... It get them out of that fit moment and wanted to interact!  Try it! 



If you notice, when you pay more attention to the tantrums, they get worse but of course if you ignore them, the child will eventually stop because that's who's attention they want. Try to keep schedules and routines, kids don't like change. Less fits & tantrums makes all happy!

Amber - posted on 02/26/2009

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I have a 10 month as well that has started the same thing (especially with diaper changes). At this age, they know the word "no". I will hold her down and look in her eyes and firmly say "no we don't kick" (or whatever the behavior is). With my daughter, that is usually enough as she doesnt like the firmness. If it coninues, I will ignore her and read a book or something. When she doesn't get the attention she wants, she will stop at which point I will hug her. For us, rewards for good behavior works better than punishment.
My two and a half year old is a little tougher, as he now thinks for himself. I will firmly tell him "no" when he is tantruming and then ignore him if he continues. Usually, he will try and test me, but consistency works. He gives up eventually, though it can take a LONG time. If nothing else, he goes into his room and is gated in until he can come down enough for me to sit with him and explain why his behavior is unacceptable and tell him that I am angry with him, but still love him.
Every child is different!
Good luck!

Wendy - posted on 02/26/2009

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Yes.  Ignore it and it should go away in a couple of days.  it won't be easy to endure but if you respond to that kind of behavior by giving him what he wants he will be doing this for a long time.

Nikki - posted on 02/22/2009

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Quoting Raelene:



my daughter is 22 months and has started throwing tantrums...........I will take all this advice and give it a go, although she hasn't started doing it while we are out shopping yet any advice on how to handle a tantrum in public?  she kicks, screams throws herself down on the ground....i am aftraid sometimes she will hurt herself.



 



 



 






I just had one back. I was nannying and I had one back and I caused such a scene. The little one was morrtified and never had one again!

Kelsey - posted on 02/22/2009

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I ignore my son, who has also been throwing tantrums since he was about 9 months, and he will go on for a while crying, but overtime he will begin to see that the tantrums don't get any results so the crying is shortened and he doesn't throw as many tantrums anymore. Also I started spanking at 12 months. Just small taps with a ruler on the but or thigh, not to hurt him, but remind him who has the upper hand.

Kaz - posted on 02/22/2009

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I too just ignore but the other thing I have tried too is to get down on the floor and imitate them (without the hitting of course). My little one was so stunned he stopped and started laughing. The other thing is distration (when they have calmed down) he works a treat!

Stacey - posted on 02/22/2009

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let him kick an scream just do what ever u were doin if u try stop he will carry on if u ignore if he comes to you give him a warnin if he doesnt behave tell him he will go on time out

Raelene - posted on 02/21/2009

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thanks for the advice i will certainly give that a go........as i said it hasn't happened in public yet and maybe by using the advice from here i can stop it before it begins.....thanks so much.



 

[deleted account]

talk your kids down.. words are VERY powerful. get their attention with a toy or tell them a story or start singing. there are so many ways to combat the tantrums.. and there are so many different types of tantrums.. you have to learn your kids "tantrum degrees" and try different things until you find what works for each of them. Ignore, sing, dance, talk, start laughing at the imaginary thing in your hand, ask if the want to see it, distract whenever possible..

Chris - posted on 02/21/2009

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My daughter is 20 mths and really going through a tantrum stage, once she starts I simply say "ok when you are ready u let me know" and go to leave the room by the time i reach the door she is ready sometimes she will try a second bout so I say the same thing and leave, she doesn't do it again. She has only tried a tantrum in a supermarket once and i done the samething although I never move more than two steps away all u need to do is turn your body as if you have every intension of walking away (although you don't) and my little girl wont push it cos she knows I do it at home and now she is in a strange place, it sounds harsh but get your little one to realise mum means business and tantrums do not interest her and try and find away to commicate that little one is happy with. I just talk to mine and eventually I understand what caused it.



I know people say girls are easier to potty train then boys but what I did with my little girl was as soon as she could sit up I sat her on a pot still dressed and played with her toys while she sat there like it was a chair for her. Then as she got more comfortable with the situation I just removed layers she took to it with no fuss and I am glad I done it she is now dry during the day.

Leron - posted on 02/20/2009

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don't give in...or you're just starting a much longer battle! I put my son in a safe 'time out' such as on the floor with a pillow behind him so that when he threw him self back or down he didn't get hurt and i just let him 'tantrum' it out and he realized quickly that he didn't get what he wanted if it was unneccessary. We still have tantrums but much less frequently. Hope this helps! Just be strong!

Samantha - posted on 02/20/2009

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I'm dreading those days, becuase i'm just going to leave the store. Thanks for all the great advice



 

Raelene - posted on 02/20/2009

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my daughter is 22 months and has started throwing tantrums...........I will take all this advice and give it a go, although she hasn't started doing it while we are out shopping yet any advice on how to handle a tantrum in public?  she kicks, screams throws herself down on the ground....i am aftraid sometimes she will hurt herself.

Joanna - posted on 02/18/2009

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What the experts say (and it works) is ignore the behavior not the child...  With my little guy I tell him crying is not going to get you what you want.  I said no i know your upset but thats it.. then i walk away, he will stop after a minute... the worst thing to do is give in cause then the tantrums will NEVER stop.  they will find that they get the desired result from the negative behavior... good luck

Lynsi - posted on 02/18/2009

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My dd did this too...still does at times haha.  It took me to figure it out but what i realized is she was so frustrated trying to get me to understand what she needed or wanted.  I started to do a few simple baby signs with her and it was like a complete 360.  She caught on and I understood her.  She is 2 now and still uses the signs when Im not getting it.  MAybe give it a try...we did eat thank you more thirsty and done...it stopped the screaming hitting and confusion.  Give it a shot if nothing else he will have a new trick!

Colleen - posted on 02/17/2009

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Try putting a sticker on his hand when you are changing him. My son would play with it long enough to get him changed.

Jessica - posted on 02/17/2009

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My twins did the same thing at about the same age. I would lay them on their back in the middle of the floor and walk out of the room. If they came out screaming I would put them back in their, eventually they would come out happy. It only lasted a short while till they got it!

Adf0905 - posted on 02/17/2009

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At 10 months, he's just now learning how to really communicate with you, and right now he doesn't know how to tell you he's frustrated or mad other than having tantrums. Best thing to do is not give him any kind of reaction. Just let him get his frustrations out, and then start giving him attention. He'll learn that throwing tantrums won't get mommy's attention!

Zoe - posted on 02/16/2009

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my little boy used to do all that and bang his head on the floor, all i did was ignore it. just step over her calmly and walk away, start cleaning and soon she'll realise that throwing a tantrum doesnt mean she will get any kind of attention good or bad.

Samantha - posted on 02/16/2009

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Thank you so much! I do the distactions , lol. Sometimes he doesn't care, and puts his foot down . Just sometimes he still carries on like he will cry, smetimes for like 20 minutes or more.

Samantha - posted on 02/15/2009

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Well what should I do when I'm changing him. I can't ignore him then, I have to do it. He screams and rolls and just genereally gets mad. He doesn't do this all the time but when he does he means buisness.

Samantha - posted on 02/15/2009

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Sounds pretty simple, thank you!
I do ignore him sometimes, but other times he just screams so loud, and carries on for what seems like forever.
He hits me sometimes and you just get so mad you want to do something other than ignore. I suppose he's still young to understand penalties and ignoring is the way to go. Thank you so much for reply in the same day! I really appreciate it.

Samantha - posted on 02/15/2009

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Sounds pretty simple, thank you!
I do ignore him sometimes, but other times he just screams so loud, and carries on for what seems like forever.
He hits me sometimes and you just get so mad you want to do something other than ignore. I suppose he's still young to understand penalties and ignoring is the way to go. Thank you so much for reply in the same day! I really appreciate it.

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