pls help...my 4 yr old boy still poo'sin his undies...i have tried everything....he does it in front of me sometimes,iam a single mum.thanx

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Charmaine - posted on 04/05/2009

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Excellent advice from Barbie, I would have said the same. Making him clean up his own mess, really works.



The same thing happend to a friend of mine when the baby brother came into their lives. She tried my advice and really worked!!!



Firstly you should really pay attention to:



 1. Have you ever given some sort of attention, even negative attention, when he has had an accident? Children thrive on attention, even negative attention. This will cause him to do it over and over again.



2. The rule of thumb is. When he has an accident, do not show any attention, not even angry attention. Be absolutely neutral, but be STERN. Sternly take him by the arm into the bathroom, let him clean up as far as he can, does not have to be perfect, just so that he gets the message.



3. After he is clean, still with neutral and Stern behaviour he has to now be punished,  he would have to go to his time out spot for, how you work the time out is, One minute per age. So if he is 4 year of age, he would have to sit in his time out spot for 4 minutes. Remember time out is away from any toys or distraction that could be enjoyable to him.



4. After time out, you have to remind him why he had time out, he should acknowledge what he did wrong and that the next time it happens the same punishment will be given and the punishment will be upgraded to one of his favourite toys taken away.



5. Now the most important phase of this is, after seeing him for a while with no accidents or even see him going to the toilet, then you should PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE him, give him lots of love and attention,  give him approval that now he is doing the right thing.



 



After a while he will get the message that by having an accident will cause NO attention and result in punishment he does not want. But by doing the right thing he actually gets what he wants ATTENTION.



Well good luck.

Colleen - posted on 04/04/2009

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Hi Bel,



Just a small idea it might work. Have you used your sons father as a role model by saying "how bout we try and do poos in th oilet like dad?" and whrn he does it in th toilet make a big deal out of it and reward it with  a stamp or sticker when he has a accident just say doesnt matter maybr next time. Good luck

Barbie - posted on 04/03/2009

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please do im sorry that you have to deal with that he is still young sending love from my family to yours

Bel - posted on 03/31/2009

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Hi Barbie



(sigh) Thankyou sooo much 4 replying....i do think its attention as his dad is overseas and he is craving a man around,he does say sorry and i have tried taking toys away etc but i have an appt with my doctor today as he is also not sleepong so im up till 3-4am and living on barely no sleep which equals stress etc....i will let u know how i go



thankyou soooo much

Barbie - posted on 03/31/2009

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IM SORRY TO HEAR IM A MOM OF 4 NOW HAVE YOU HAD HIM CHECKED BY A DOCTOR COULD BE MEDICAL COULD BE JUST NOT MATURED YET. ID DEF. TALK TO HIS DOC. DO YOU THINK ITS FOR ATTENTION? IF SO MY SUGGESTION WOULD BE TO BUY DISPOSABLE GLOVES AND DO NOT GIVE A REACTION TO THIS PROBLEM WHEN HE HAS A ACCIDENT.NOT GOOD OR BAD. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO TURN AWAY WHILE YOU BIT YOUR LIP. CLEAN HIM UP AND HAVE HIM HELP YOU (DISPOSABLE GLOVES) EVEN IF ITS JUST TAKEING HIS CLOTHES AND PUTTING IN A BUCKET AND WASHING THEM OUT (AFTER YOU HAVE FIRST OF COURSE) THEN TAKING THEM TO THE WASH MACHINE THEN HAVE HIM GET DRESS BUT NOT ATTACH ANY EMOTION TO IT. THAT IS ONLY IF ITS NOT A MEDICAL CONDITION. MY OLDEST WHEN SHE WAS 4 WOULD COULD NOT DISAPLINE HER WHEN WE PUNISHED HER SHE WOULD MAKE HERSELF THROW UP. SO I ASKED THE DR. AND SHE TOLD ME TELL HER IF SHE STARTS TO MAKE HERSELF GAG TO TELL HER YOU WILL HAVE TO CLEAN UP YOUR PUKE IF YOU DO. AND I ONLY HAD TO DO THAT ONE TIME AND IT SOLVED MY PROBLEM. SHES NOW 10 BUT IT WORKED FOR ME I HOPE THIS HELPED

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