recommendations for bed time?

Crystal - posted on 09/16/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )

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my 16 month old has a hard time going to bed on his own its almost seperation anxiety...he was fine before i would read to him, lay him down give him a kiss and tuck him in and leave and shut the door..but now the minute i lay him down he starts screaming and if i leave him he climbs out of bed and cries at the door. i try to leave him so he beats the fear..eventhough im at the other side but its hard to listen to him cry...i usually give in and lay with him but lately ive been leaving him to cry. i am expecting again and i want to get through this before i have a new born...what do i do?

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Danielle - posted on 09/18/2010

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I had the same problem with my son. He was going to bed fine and then seperation anxiety and didn't want to be left alone. He is three now and what I do is nurse him for a bit in the rocker in his room. The lights are off and the nightlight is on. Then i lay him down in his bed and cover him up and i sit in the rocker in his room and stay until he falls asleep. No eye contact no talking to him. I just let him know I'm there for him if he needs me. If he wakes at all during the night I go to him and get him out of bed and nurse and rock him some more. I don't lay in bed with him at all b/c that is a really hard habit to break. And I have a six month old and it's much easier to put the older baby to bed and then rock and nurse the baby. I did notice that once the new baby was born the older child felt more comfortable knowing his little brother was in the room with him. I would suggest you move the new baby into the crib in your toddlers room quickly so they will get used to one another. It won't last forever. If it's making you uncomfortable to let him cry it out then don't do that. You know what your baby needs and if you have to rock him all night long or sit on the floor and cradle him to make him feel secure and happy then you know you're doing the right thing. :0)

Crystal - posted on 09/17/2010

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I think you need to try and knock out the anxiety 100% so he is comfortable again. Does he have a nightlight or maybe soft music?
I would start a whole week of laying next to him until he falls asleep. Then when he is ok again I would sit next to his bed and put your hand on him for a week or a couple of days.
Then after he seems ok with that I would sit in his room closer to the door and so on.
Its gonna be a pain to do that but its easier then having him distressed and you upset hearing him cry.
Regardless of whether he should be sleeping on his own he is very upset and needs some reassuring.



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Nancy - posted on 09/19/2010

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I have had the same problem with my 3 year old...what I have been doing is just telling her she is a big girl and I leave her door open until she is asleep then I close it...it seems to make her feel like she is closer even tho I am not in the room with her...also I leave her TV on so she has some sound in her room...plus she has 2 night lights...it is going pretty well, so just take it one step at a time and it will work out for him...sooner than you think too. Best of luck!!!

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