Severe attitude issues

Allison - posted on 02/05/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi Ladies! I am looking for help working through and managing my 2 1/2 year old daughter's severe attitude issues. We are a military family and this week, we have been staying with extended family in hopes relocating there will help to save money. My daughter has decided that she no longer needs a nap and within the last few weeks has acted out when leaving the Grandparents homes, going to the store, going to a restaurant etc. Basically if she doesn't want to do it, she will throw a fit making it impossible to complete any task outside of the home that we leave. I am so embarassed and angry with her and am at my wits end.

Any ideas??????

4 Comments

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Megan - posted on 02/08/2010

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i'm sure you've heard it before, but ignore the bad behaviors and praise the good ones, no matter how small they may be. the other alternative is using a token-reward system. kids at this age can't comprehend what they're feeling, but they can understand incentives. i wouldn't recommend using money or food as the reward, but rather something that you would normally do for her..i.e. special time with you, choosing dinner for the night, taking her to the library, etc. the token reward system works for almost any child; however, if it doesn't work for yours, then repost. i have alternate ideas.

Annemaree - posted on 02/07/2010

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ha ha sorry luv im laughing as i thought i was the only one going through this same problem gotta luv 2 yolds lol .......... does she really need a nap??? my 3 kids stopped there day naps when they were 18mths n i havnt looked back we still have about 1hr quite rest time during the middle of the day where we mite sit n draw or watch a movie together ....... but its the age too i seriously thought n never belived in terrible twos as my daughters never went through that but every child is different as i found out with my son ......... i sypathise with u with u getting angry an frustraited n embarressed as im going through that to i know how u feel all i can say i wish u luck on u journey of trying to find a way to controlling her issues .. n if u find somthing that works please let me know as i would b willing to try anything too.lol good luck!

Jane - posted on 02/06/2010

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well allison, you have a few things going on here.......and my guess is it is a bit overwhelming.....first of all, you have a 2 yr old......at this age they start wanting to assert their independence.....and one of those changes is taking a nap......i have a 2 yr old here, and she went from 2 naps a day, to one, and some days she dont get it in till late in the day...this is all a normal thing for a 2 yr old......try to lay down with her everyday at about the same time to get her to rest a little...if possible lay her down where she can watch her favorite show and they usually will relax and dose off.....2nd, you have just moved.....that is a big adjustment for everyone involved.......she is confused and out of routine.....try to help her feel safe and secure.......3rd, you staying with extended family....someone else is in the equation now....this is and exciting thing for her.....someone else to pay her attention....and im sure they are all dotting on her, as you havent been there long....grandparents are her favorite people......i know i am one.....be thankful she wants to stay with them......maybe let her stay sometime.......i am going through the fits a little right now about not wanting to go anywhere......some of that comes from not getting her naps in......she is probably a little over tired and over stimulated......it happens when they dont get a nap....try not to be angry......try to be a little more loving.......she may just want you to talk to her......i notice i have to tell her where we are going ahead of time......like"hey lets go to the store.....nono...yes, lets go get some milk and bread, and you some more bananas, " do you want something to eat...lets go here and get some hamburgers....etc....let her be a part of the planning process......she will feel a little more involved and in a little more control....of course, she wont have total control, but will feel better......try to ask her what is wrong, and let her talk about it...tell her, you understand...like, >i know baby, im so sorry you wanted that, but lets get you this instead.......look at this......i know baby, im so sorry your feeling are hurt....i know it hurt your hand....let me kiss it....>what ever is going on, try to talk very softly and sweetly to make her feel better....this will let her know you are still there and not going anywhere........all the changes, im sure she is confussed......give her a little time to adjust, and im sure she will settle in just fine......also, pic your battles.....if it doesnt really matter if she gets a peice of candy, then get it...just let her know to ask first....if she is throwing a fit...get her to calm down and ask for and get...dont make it a battle......also, you dont need to raise your voice...i always say, babies need to know who is in charge....not by screaming or fussing, but talking calmly and firmly letting them know what is acceptable and what is not....they want to know you are the one in charge...im a firm believer that you train them what to listen to and how to react to you when you speak....do all disapline with love....

Kerry - posted on 02/05/2010

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Kids react in different ways to an upset to their routine. Since she can't tell you exactly how she's feeling all her frustration is probably coming out in her behaviour. The trip away and i'm guessing lots of talk about moving there is probably unnerving her a bit. Maybe try and have some 1 on 1 time with her (like a full day) and try to explain whats happening in a simple way that she'll understand - with lots of positives thrown in!! I bet once you get settled she will calm down again.

My husband works away for 2 weeks at a time and then he's home for a week and it always takes a day or two for them to transition when he comes home or goes back. Kids love their routine, it helps make their scary world a little more predictable.

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