shy & scared child, babysitter or daycare what is more comfortable

[deleted account] ( 3 moms have responded )

Hi, my daughter who is 23 months goes to a babysitter since she was 14 months. That babysitter takes care of her own grandson alongwith my daughter. I feel she does partiality with my daughter when it comes to her grandson. He doesn't like to share things & as its his house, his grandmother, his mom, his dad his stuff, my daughter end up compromising each time. She is turning out to be very shy & scared & uncomfortable with other adults & kids. Babysitter otherwise is v good & takes good care of my daughter's learning part & her food. But because of compromising env I am thinking of putting my daughter to daycare. I would like to discuss this if my decision of putting my daughter to daycare is fine? Will it help her with her shy & timidness? Will it open her up in public? or she might feel more insecure as there teachers will have so many kids to take care of & she will be left alone & she might get more suppressed by other kids there who are elder to her. Please advise.....I really need help with this.

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Morgan - posted on 08/08/2011

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I think it would help. My oldest is very shy but she has really gotten over it since she has been playing with all the neighborhood kids. Your daughter probably just needs to play with more kids and be in that kind of a setting to get over her shyness. But you may wanna try playing with other kids and getting her over her shyness a little before putting her into daycare just to get her socialized, otherwise she may not react well to it. Try a mommy and me class on the weekend or going to the park to play with other kids.

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Casey - posted on 08/11/2011

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I havent hurd of daycare hurting kids insead of helping. I think it would be a wonderful idea. My boyfriends son was kind of shy and it make him come out of his shell. I will also show her how other children play not just one little boy. Who to me sounds like hes spoiled a little too much. But that is a different topic. Daycare is wonderful for children. They get plenty of interaction with others, they get feed well there, they have plenty of lessons. I personally think daycare would help her to open up a little more. But remember you know your child best and you know whats right for her. Good Luck

[deleted account]

It might not hurt to put her into day care OR find a home day care provider who looks after 3-4 children instead of one other.
If you choose to put her in a center expect about 6 months of her to fully adjust on the shyness and timidness front. She could surprise you and take to it like a fish to water or she could take her time getting completely comfortable with the space, the class, the teachers the routine etc. Yes there are more children there, but the teachers are trained and would be keeping an eye out for bullying and such (at least any teacher worth their salt should be doing this).

Looking for a home day care provider who looks after more kids are likely to be able to help facilitate the sharing more. Your current provider is doing your child a disservice (and her grandson) by having your child compromise all the time.
I have worked in centers and am currently doing home day care. My son does not get treated differently from the day care kids. He has his own toys that he can choose to bring downstairs and share with everyone else, but the moment he starts grabbing and refusing to share those toys go back up until the day care kids have left. If he grabs and refuses to share day care toys well he is treated like everyone else and has to give back the toy he grabbed and choose something else to play with till that child is done. If a child is hogging a toy, then I set up a rotation of the toy through the children interested to keep it fair.

Good luck!

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