Shyness in toddlers

Tamara - posted on 02/01/2011 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My son is three, swim classes started today. The other kids blew bubbles and played and he just sat on the side. The teacher asked me to come over but when he saw me he clung and started crying to go home. All the kids are in the same dayhome so there are no strangers either...please help.

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My son isn't shy - he is cautious. He is happy to sit on the sidelines and watch everyone play and do new activities. Only once he feels secure and that he fully understands teh activity, what is expected of him, and every part of the situation, will he take part.

He also doesn't like strangers, and doesn't want to interact with them. I am taking hte time to teach him basic social skills, (saying hello and goodbye, when someone asks you how you are doing saying okay and thankyou) but for the most part, if he is not wanting to play with strangers, I am okay with that!
AND my son goes to day care and preschool. So he is well socialized.

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Kim - posted on 02/04/2011

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Does he stay at home with you? I would keep going, he will adjust. I am a stay at home mom. This winter we have had so much snow, it has been hard to get out sometime for a week or two. I have noticed when we don't do our classes where he is around other kids he is more shy. I really think at this age you have to kind of treat it like an exercise, like how when we teach them words you say it over and over again until they get it. Kind of the same thing.



It is very important to me that my child be well socialized and I really make an effort to do so. As you cant change their personalities you can lead be example. I have him enrolled in gymnastics, we have joined mommy and me groups for play dates, the park and library. Also, even when we go to the grocery store I make sure to say hello to people and interact with them so that he sees that.Give it a try and see what happens.

Tricia - posted on 02/03/2011

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my middle child hates most people...me her dad her sisters and my parents and your brothers shes okay with but it takes her atleast 10 min. to get comfortable enough for me to put her down around my husbands parents its ridiculous and sometimes it drives me insane.....but she'll get over it someday and have tons of friends!

Tamara - posted on 02/01/2011

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Pretty much all scenarios where he's not with me. He is at a dayhome during the day and he's good with the friends he has. When we go swimming just the two of us he loves it and isn't afraid to get wet. However, if we go to a play park he's to shy to play with kids he doesn't know.

Sabra - posted on 02/01/2011

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Is it in all scenarios or just at the pool? If it was just at the pool he might have been scared of the water. If he's not sure how to swim yet water can be a scary thing.
If it is all the time he could just be a shy boy. Some children are more shy than others. Try having another child over to your home. He will feel more comfortable because it is an environment he is very used to and the fact that it is only one other child might be a little less overwhelming.
Also try talking to him and find out why he doesn't want to play with the other kids. There might be a reason for it.

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