sibling rivalry

Raana - posted on 11/22/2008 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi! I have a two year old son and a 17 week old daughter. My son has been great with my daughter, giving her kisses and wanting to hold her but now he is starting to get jealous. I breastfeed her, so she spends a lot of time in my arms (especially during a growth spurt.) and she had colic so I had to hold her a lot. Now he is starting to try and hit her or take toys away from her. Any advice on how to handle it? He's also starting to hit other kids in the playground but I guess that is a different issue....

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Jessica - posted on 11/22/2008

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I have a four month old and a 2 year old. He has been great up until now, but just recently has been begging me to hold him all the time. I usually pick him up when he asks. I have found that the thing that makes him the happiest is when I ask him to help me with the new baby. He shakes the bottle for me, holds the bottle, puts in the pacifier, puts the blanket on him, etc. It seems to help with the jealousy, at least a little bit.

Vanessa - posted on 11/22/2008

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Hi Raana. Your son is very angry at the changes that are taking place within in your family. His little world is turning upside down and he doesn't like anymore. I personally think the hitting at school is not a different issue. He's mad!



Make him feel special. Have a mother son day out and then have Daddy do the same. Try and make time for just him. Right now he notices that he doesn't have the same amount of time with Mommy and Daddy. Once you make him feel he has your attention again, everything will become somewhat normal. You will always have sibling rivalry on some level but in regards to this situation, it's not forever. Eventually because he is so young he will forget the difference. My daughter went through a change in behavior when my son was born one month of hell. Now they are older they play great together. Just make sure that he feels like he is special. Also I don't know if you have a ritual just for him, let it be bedtime stories, board games, coloring, playing cars whatever he's into take some time to enjoy some of his world with him. This may help also. It's not easy. This is just one stage in the rollercoast ride of being a parent. I hope some of these ideas help.



Vanessa

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