so...I need help getting my 21/2 year old to bed WITHOUT all the screaming and tanturms!

Molly - posted on 12/16/2009 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My husband can do it no problem, with just a tear or two, but when I try to do it he screams and crys and tantrums like no other. Literally gripping the doorframe to keep from going in his room. My husband works at 3 in the morning so he goes to bed waay before me and Ryker do, but I need some advice!

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Terri - posted on 01/02/2010

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Just thought of this also, you may want to try running your fingers through his hair. When my son is especially upset or not feeling good I do that and it usually will calm him down and kinda lull him to sleep. :)

Terri - posted on 01/02/2010

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Do you have nay kind of a routine you do before bed? With my son I turn on some soft music (Yanni or musical lullabies, not music with words) --this is for naptime and bdtime-- and I read to him until he falls asleep on most nights. It really does work and if I have a night where he is not falling asleep; one time I read to him for an hour and a half and he was still awake, I just told him it was time for sleep and left the room. Eventually he went to sleep on his own. Also, I don't know if it is going on, but if you are particularly anxious about putting your son to bed because you know he will throw a tantrum and everything he may be feeding off of that as well, so basically I would say to just make a routine and be calm but firm with him. Hope that helps.

Melissa - posted on 12/23/2009

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we have a routine, and he goes to bed like a charm! we have dinner, play a little, and then watch wheel of fortune (i know that sounds weird, but he LOVES that he knows his letters and he likes to guess). then we take a bath and get ready for bed. we do a family hug, and i sit with him in the rocker in his room and read him a book. sometimes we read it two or three times, but then i tell him it's the last time. he will take his book to bed with him sometimes. we also have a fisher price rainforest lullaby CD that we play for him. no tears, no arguing...just goes to sleep... good luck!

Molly - posted on 12/17/2009

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Oh my goodness!! These are WONDERFUL tips!!! this is the first time i've posted on circle of moms, i can't believe how helpful everyone is!!! Thank you soo much!!! These are really terrific ideas, and I really appreciate everyone taking the time to write them!! I will try to implement some of these tonight...(i'm actually excited about bedtime now) ;)

Mary - posted on 12/17/2009

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My boys, 2 and 4, are super stubborn. The more they can feel like they're in charge of the situation, the better. Having a bedtime routine has helped soo much with bedtime fits. I think its because they know exactly what to expect. We do baths, put on pjs, brush teeth, read two stories (one for each boy), say prayers, lights out. I also remind them of whats going to happen before it does. About 15 minutes before we start the routine, I give them a warning. I tell them "In 15 minutes we're going to take a bath, then we're going to read stories, say prayers, and go to bed." I say the same thing at the 10 and 5 minute marks. That gives them the chance to finish up whatever they're playing and wrap their heads around what's about to happen. My boys love the bath so they spend some time playing in there, but when it's time to finish I give them the same warnings. "Ok yall, we're going to get out of the bath in x minutes, read stories, say prayers, and go to bed. I continue through all the steps of the process until we finally reach bedtime. My hubby doesn't "go through all that trouble" and those are the nights they're screaming and begging for more play time and whatever. It doesn't matter what your routine is as long as it's the same every night. Good luck!

Maggie - posted on 12/17/2009

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Find out what Daddy does that helps him go to sleep. Does he hold him a certain way? Does he tell him an extra story? Does he hold his hand or pet his head? Find out and do that. You could also try to do your own special "mommy's putting you to bed" thing. Try to stick to a routine no matter who's putting him down. I think all kids go through a phase where they only want one parent or the other. Try snuggling him to sleep on the sofa (but no TV!) and then transferring him to the bed once he's asleep.

Fiona - posted on 12/16/2009

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My son did the same thing didn't want to go to bed. So I started story time were he climbed into his toddler bed and I read him a story. He quickly learnt that at bed time if you are good then you get a story. He also has a night light to reassure him about the room. My partner is the same he works most night (5pm to 5am) so he is not there to put zach to bed.

Melissa - posted on 12/16/2009

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My 3 yr old daughter RUNS to her bed when she hears daddy's truck.. but I can tell her all night go to bed daddy's about to be here and she will look at me and tell me she is just going to sit on the couch and watch tv.... I don't know why but the daddy always gets the kids to bed with no problem. My hubby works til 2 am so I get to deal with this too. I am not a pro at doing it but I can tell you (as my hubby tells me) that all you can do is be consistent. If you are sticking by what you say and take the time to devote to making it happen, things may slowly change. Its not anything that us mothers can do overnight, but when you set the bedtime you just have to sit there n make them go to bed. There will be screaming and we will feel like crap for doing it but it will pay off in the end. When you put him to bed, just do that, put him in bed and walk away. When he gets up tell him its bedtime, and put him back. Keep doing that calmly til he finally does it. Its not easy training babies but this is the only way that I have gotten mine to obey me like they do him. Hope this helps ya out, I am still working on mine!

Amy - posted on 12/16/2009

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If you figure it out, let me know. I have the same problem. I tried the baby gate, he climbs over it. I tried closing his door and he cries all night. I finally gave in and leave the TV on, but this is not ideal because I don't know when he goes to sleep and sometimes he is cranky. However, I get up at 5 am and if I don't get sleep things could get even worse! I am just hoping it is something they grow out of. My sister says her 5 year old did the same and has stopped now.

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