Strange love from my 2 years old...

Marie-eve - posted on 01/04/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I'm looking for advice on dealing with my 2 years old attitude around me. When I'm around, she will push everyone else away and become super fussy. She cries if I put her down to walk or if I have to do anything like cooking or cleaning. She will cry non-stop untill I give in, I think once she did it for almost an hour. I give in often in public places being afraid that people will look at me like a bad mom... I guess she figured it out and uses this against me. I work outside the house a little but it's mostly night shifts where she does not know I'm away so why does she have a crazy separation anxiety? Help!

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Marie-eve - posted on 01/04/2010

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She used to be such an indepedent baby. Now it's the complete opposite! She doesn't know the balance yet. Today I had a day off and tried the complete opposite, I spent every single second with her. So far it does not help... if I did dissapear from her sight she would call me and look everywhere. I guess it is a bit of insecurity. To answer an other question in Ceva's post, we do go to playgroup and it's normaly fine but it has not happened in a little while cause of the holidays. I will try that avenue again next week!

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I think your daughter realizes that you are comforting to her. Anytime she feels afraid, anxious, or even just tired you always make her feel better. I don't think you can hold your child too much. If you ignore her she may feel even more upset. Maybe she just needs to be reassured that you are there when she needs you. After comforting her try to get her involved in a puzzle or game by herself so you can finish cooking.

Ceva - posted on 01/04/2010

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When she was a new born did you have her up all the time???

Maybe you should try putting her into a playgroup for an hour like 3 times a week to get her around other people,it will be so upsetting to see her cry after you but your doing it for her own good,It will boast her confidence and also give you a little break.....If you dont want to leave her at a playgroup maybe even try "parent & toddler" groups. she will grow out of it but can only do it with your help!! Gud luck :-)

Anita - posted on 01/04/2010

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Hi, my 16 month old is EXACTLY the same. I can't do anything without him wanting to be picked up and if I put him down he just cries or whinges and literally hangs off me.
I am a big softie and he has got use to me picking him up (they learn pretty quickly) and I am SLOWLY trying to make him understand that I cannot pick him up all the time.

Krissy - posted on 01/04/2010

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sorry to say this but

1 she's gotten used to your giving in and

2 your unintentionally making her spoilt.

i did this with my son for a while and while the truth hurts it has done a world of good for both him and me. i now in the shops as hard and heart wrenching for me i walk a little way away juat enough to see him and close enough to grab him if i needed. it took me and him awhile but now i just walk off and he runs after me screaming ' muuumm stop i be good' . what you need to do at home is put her in her room and tell her to stay and play with her toys. if she continues this tell her that it is not on and that you are busy and you'll pay attention after you cook dinner. if that odesnt work just let her sceem the house down and leave her to do so and soon enough she'll get the point.when everyone else is around give them the attention and give very little to her tantrums. she'll soon get the drift on all aspects of her getting her own way and stop it.it might take awhile but it will be worth it in the end

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