Tantrums!

Crystal - posted on 01/11/2010 ( 57 moms have responded )

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My little girl has recently started doing this thing where she flings herself backward, then lays on the floor, starts to cry, and kick her feet...like im supposed to care! I know throwing fits and stuff is normal, but she is being a complete drama queen about it. Any advice?

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Jonellyn - posted on 01/20/2010

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my Daughter did this three times, it started one day at about 18 months, I called my mom and got the best advice...and she is now 4 and it hasnt happened since...As soon as she starts loook at her tell her she is being so silly and start laughing and throw your self on the floor and do what she does stomp your hands feet scream and then start to laugh again and while you are on the floor grab her and make her laugh put her on your knees and do supergirll..whatever it take to get her laughing but make sure you dont stop laughing and saying things like silly girl funny baby ..let her know that when she does that you wont take her serious that do you its jut joke..the only way it wokrs is if you throw yourself into it no holding back...the second time I grabbed her and di it and it was overin about a minute the third time I did it in the clothing aisle of Target..but never did I have to so it again, she has NEVER thrown a full blown tantrum since :)

[deleted account]

My daughter has tantrums all the time and it was driving me crazy. She was having them because something is not doing what she wants to I'm not getting my way. If she is really upset she will find the nearest floor, table or hard surface and bang her head on it several times. I read something recently that has minimized the tantrums in my home. First you have to determine if it is manipulative or a frustration tantrum. With manipulative you ignore and with frustration you hold and console even if they seem to not want it. It has helped me tremendously.

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Ashli - posted on 02/15/2010

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My step son does the exact same thing and doesnt stop until someone "babies" him or gives him what he wants. I have been ignoring it and when it exceeds to an amount that I cant take it i tell him to go to his room and he is not allowed to get up till he stops his fit. That has been the best remedy for me.

Crystal - posted on 02/15/2010

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Yes her 'love cup' has been filled! lmao always is. But i dont give her EVERYTHING she wants, and she gets upset.

Crystal - posted on 02/15/2010

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I was always told to never use the childrens bedrooms for a time out method.

Julie - posted on 01/30/2010

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Tantrums are not normal - kids crying to show us they have a need is...
Figure out what she's feeling and why and then remedy it
Our children are helpless to explain thier needs to us... we've got to be the smarter ones who care ♥

Kristy - posted on 01/28/2010

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I have tried to ignore my 2 year old daughter when she does that but she only gets louder. So I end up putting her in her crib for a while till she calms down.

Julie - posted on 01/28/2010

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your baby needs YOU precious mommie. When she is five then put her with others. Home is the first and most important school and you precious mother, are the first and most important teacher.
Children bite and act out their anger and fristrations as they have no skills in using words.
How much time do you spend reading picture books with her - cuddling her and rocking her, if even only when you're watching t.v.?
Pour yourself into and watch her negative behaviors end... I PROMISE! ♥♥♥

Barbara - posted on 01/27/2010

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I just leave my 22 month old to get over the tantrums, she throws herself on the floor, she throws stuff...but my greatest concern is that she loves to bite and pinch, she starts nursery pre-school in a week adn i am worried about the calls i may get as a result of this. but, the tantrums...they will go soon, i hope.

Julie - posted on 01/27/2010

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MOM - DAD - figure out why "no" makes him mad... this is not natural.
Something tells me basic needs are not being met.
Does mommie work ----?
Anger is deep seated hurt...
♥ him every chance you get!

Michele - posted on 01/27/2010

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I'm glad to hear my son is not the only one. I know it's a phase but these tantrums are very stressful to watch. I half joke w/ my husband that my son needs to go to anger mgmt classes b/c it seems like he throws a tantrum any time he is told "no" which happens often thoughout the day. His tantrums include screaming and throwing whatever he can get his hands on. I think it's important not to give in to them b/c we definitely don't want them thinking a tantrum gets them what the want.

Bonnie - posted on 01/27/2010

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Hi! I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter... who also has started the tantrum thing too. I read awhile back that when toddlers/young children get to this point, they are unable to take instruction from their parent(s) because they have lost control. The book then said children need support and encouragement and a "break". No way would I think this would work... but crazy enough its the only thing that does work for my daughter! I ask her if she is frustrated, and she says (screams!) yes. I then ask her if she needs a hug and 9 times out of 10 she says yes, hugs me, and completetly settles down. It's crazy! Don't know if this will work for your daughter, but its worth a try!

Julie - posted on 01/26/2010

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Nutirtion is critical with autism patients... Fruits and veggies... and my kids were all on Juice Plus+ ASSURING me they were getting their '5+5 per day' - as it has 9+7!

Mothers - ASK FOR NON-MERCURY vaccines! Mercury is poisenous and its insane to me that vaccines have them!

Heather - posted on 01/26/2010

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My almost 2 yr old started having terrible tantrums between 14 and 18 months, and they only got worse, he never threw himself on the ground but he would cry, scream, and bang his head on the walls, floor, doors and run around and try to destroy things, his pediatrition tested him and he was diagnosed with Autsim

Julie - posted on 01/24/2010

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Not all children have tantrums - it si our job to figure out why ours is having one -

Barbie - posted on 01/24/2010

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My 22 month old did the same thing when she was slightly younger. We just ignored her for a few times, and then, when she didn't get the desired result, she stopped having her tantrums.

Julie - posted on 01/23/2010

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more and more children are having tantrums - is it because there are less and less moms that want to be home with their children and raise them...?

Julie - posted on 01/22/2010

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my question - does she have needs that are not being met...?

♥ have you filled her 'love-cup' today?

Julie - posted on 01/22/2010

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be sure to give your child a set of communication skills as early on as you can... such as, are you angry? ... are you hungry...? are you sad...? It can be a real simple pressure valve to save the child as well as mommie and all others' involved nerves ♥

Sabrina - posted on 01/21/2010

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My son does the same thing. I have learned just to ignore these tamtrums. It actually does seem to help a little. I heard it's just a stage they go through but hopefully he will outgrow this one soon. Good luck =)

Alex - posted on 01/21/2010

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Ignore it, as scary as it looks. Be persistent and divert her attention if you start to see a tantrum coming on. If you respond then the tantrum works. It may take a few weeks of ignoring it, but that's better than months of tantrums.

Julie - posted on 01/21/2010

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UTMOST - figure out what triggered it... overly tired OR day after day mom walking out the door to go to work. I cannot imagine anything so empty or disturbing to a child than to have mom dessert them - The anger builds and they finally pop -

Bonnie - posted on 01/21/2010

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My son is 2 1/2 and loves his tantrums. I ignore them when possible. If he is persistent about getting my attention I use a few things. Either redirecting his attention to something else, put him on his bed and tell him he needs to stay until he feels better (I do check on him and sometimes go over and rub his back depending on how he is), and sometimes if he is not moving around too much I just sit with him on my lap until he is calm then try talking about it as simply as possible.
I always try to explain his feelings so he may understand himself. Like I say I know your upset because mommy isn't doing what you want and it is ok to be upset sometimes.
Every kid is so different you have to try different things until you find one that works. Just stick to the same thing for a couple weeks to see if it works before changing to the next.
I have started time outs with my son and sometimes I ask him to stop or go on time out and he will choose the time out chair.

Xochitl - posted on 01/21/2010

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My 20 month old daughter did the exact same thing when she was about 18 months old. My husband and I just picked her up when she did it at home and put her in her crib and let her cry it out there. We were not going to entertain her drama. She would quickly stop and then we'd go get her. Hope it helps : )

Alice - posted on 01/20/2010

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My 3year old boy tried this everytime he could not get what he wants too. He screams, shout, kick legs, bang head again furniture, push me or his little sis. I can understand how frustrated and worried you are when seeing him acting that way. But nothing really need to worried although sometime I feel it that too much.
I try to control myself, and ignore him, take my girl away from him. If he is really in a big tantrum, then I take him to a corner or a room where I can't see him, but safe for him, then ask him come to see me when he is calm down. When he comes to see me, I will give him a big hug, then pat him, and tell him I didn't like the way he did and won't listen to him at that time, I ask him just tell me in a gentle way, I will listen, but nonetheless, I still love him very much.
I always said to him, I love him a lot, just don't like his bad attitude, so try to be nice, and everything will be fine.
It is really help to take him away from me. He needs time to calm down, and I need time to adjust myself, not to do the wrong thing. anyway, good luck. He knows if you really love him, so just give him a big hug, said nothing but patting his back, then tell him how you love him. He will get better, better everyday.

Julie - posted on 01/20/2010

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Crystal - figure out what her issues are... IS she tired - hungry - frustrated?

Remember, they have no communication skills and cannot tell us what is the matter but to cry ... if she is merely trying to get her way walk away and ignore her.

Be sure to love her and spend time with her - ♥

Tiffiny - posted on 01/20/2010

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my 15m old does this i hope he grows out of it though but so far he has only done it at home

Danielle - posted on 01/20/2010

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Quoting jacqueline:



if ignoring her doesnt work try kicking and screaming just like her .. sometimes they get confused about wat ur doing they forget wat they were doing.





This has actually worked for me when my son! he is 18months and he stareted throwing tantrums a few months ago once he noticed i was copying him he did not like it at all and one day just stopped all together!

______________________________________________________________________



I tried this and it made my daugther mad at me and started her attacking me or anyone who tried this on her. Which got her into attacking us whenever she was mad. lol its different with every kid.

my advice is to take alittle from everything and try it till it feels right to you than stick with it.

Tara - posted on 01/20/2010

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First I wonder what she is doing just prior to her tantrums. Has she become easily frustrated by something? Is she trying to manipulate something a certain way of which she doesn't have the motor skills to accomplish quite yet? For example opening or closing something she’s not strong enough to. I really try to pay close attention to my 2 1/2 year old and when I hear her becoming frustrated with something I quickly tell her "Ask for help... 'Say help please Mama’." This seems to end her frustration and she does not go into a conniption. In turn, she has thrown very few fits. Like I said I'm not sure what your daughter is doing just prior to her fits, but I have found teaching my daughter to communicate rather than tantrum has worked wonders. She still has a complete fit when we brush her teeth and we just have to try our best to distract her with songs and silliness while the other parent brushes.



Hope this was helpful.

Angie - posted on 01/20/2010

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That is EXACTLY how my 2 1/2 year old little girl is! She is a stink sometimes! lol It is normal...mostly they just do it for attention. So if you ignore it and keep ignoring it she will stop. I also used to giggle and leave the room at the same time, that way she wasn't getting the response that she wanted from me and made her think about what she was doing! They are all drama queens! And I have been told it never ends! Sorry for the bad news! hahaha

Jamie - posted on 01/19/2010

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Both my girls get sent to their rooms when they throw a fit or start to cry for no reason other than they didn't get what they wanted! My oldest is 5 and my youngest is 2 1//2, and they both know to go to their rooms and they can come out when they are done! If you start putting them in their bed and telling them they can come out when they're done, and do it every time, they should catch on pretty quick! My oldest has also done the deep breathing for when she got really upset and that seemed to help calm her down as well!

Helen - posted on 01/19/2010

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just walk away and ignore her they usually realise when your not watching them and get on with something else

Julia - posted on 01/19/2010

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Our younger son (just turned 2) does this too, and started about 6 months ago. My older son never did it so we were shocked when it first started happening. There were some bad ones but never in public. IIt has been getting better as his language develops. When he starts tantruming we put him in another room and say, "I'll come back when you're done" or "Let me know when you are done". Usually after a few minutes he stops but here's the tough part: sometimes he will say, "I'm all done!!!" but is in such a state by then that he still needs our help calming down. So he has learned to take deep breaths, or getting him to say the word "OK" makes him feel better. We praise him for doing a good job calming down, hugs etc. Good luck!

Crystal - posted on 01/18/2010

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Thanks so much for all your helpful advice. I will keep trying the ignoring thing. If not, i will get on the floor with her and fuss too!

Amy - posted on 01/17/2010

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Hi I have 3 teenagers and a 2yr old and he has started doing this, everyone just ignores him and carries on! He will check in the middle of his tantrum to see who's paying attention and if no one is he gives up (reality check I do know this is easier said then done!!). But really funny one time he threw a tanty right in the entry from the hall to the lounge and his big sister just stepped over him and kept on going, the sheer shock on his face was price less, and it snapped him out of it straight away! (I will admit I was ready to pick him up and jolly him out of it before this!)

[deleted account]

Hi Erin, His speech is getting a bit better, i am hoping that as he can express himself better the tantrums will diminish. Thanks though it has eased my anxiety a bit!

Nicki - posted on 01/16/2010

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im having the same ploblem with my 1yrld do i ignore her or discipline her? i need help also.this is my first child to.

Jennifer - posted on 01/16/2010

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My daughter does the same thing but she will also bang her head against doors or the floor a few times to get her point across that she is unhappy. My friends tell me to distract her with things and my dr. says to ignore her, she will most definitely stop since you aren't paying any attention to her. It doesn't always work but it's worth a try. I have a long way to go with this behavior. My daughter is only 20 months old! Good luck!

Jillian - posted on 01/14/2010

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I tell my girls "I already answered that question" And when they tantrum I put them in another room and say "tell me when you're done" If we're out, we leave wherever we are. You only have to leave a few times for them to get it.

Ali - posted on 01/14/2010

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My son is too small to understand the concept of "time out" so we just say "sofa time" and put him on the sofa in our living room (not the den where we are usually all hanging out - so he's separated a bit but still can see us). It really seems to work. He knows that sofa is for calming down. He doesn't get off it until he's finished. And he's not afraid to sit on it at nighttime and read bedtime stories, so it doesn't freak him out completely.

Linda - posted on 01/13/2010

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My daughter did the same thing. she will out grow it. If you make a big deal out of it she will do it even more. Just ignore when she decide to have a fit, just as long as she doesn't hurt herself. Believe me she will become a beautiful woman. Also maybe that's her way of releasing frustration!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Many times I wish I could do that.

Lathisa - posted on 01/13/2010

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my daughters the same way but she calmly lays herself down then kicks and screams should i leve her there or tell her not to do it

Kim - posted on 01/13/2010

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My 15 mo does the exact same thing. Her dad usually just laughs at her. I ask her what she wants and if I don't get any other answer than a continued tantrum, I tell her I'm going to the living room to watch tv or play with toys and she can join me when she wants. She usually cried for a few more minutes but eventually gets up. She's never done it in public, so it's not a big deal right now. Just try to ignore them and don't yell orfreak out and try to cater to their every whim.

Erin - posted on 01/13/2010

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My son (4 and a half) also throws tantrums, and he has since he was about a year old. He is very strong-willed. The tantrums have greatly lessened in length, intensity and amount. I tell him that I can't understand him when he acts that way. If he continues, I pick him up and take him to his room. Isolation seems to work for him. I tell him he can come out of his room when he is ready to act like a nice boy again. He has actually started controlling himself by taking deep breaths when he is upset, and this works. He is learning to control himself without my help. Just keep ignoring him. It will get better. With the strong-willed ones, it is also good to give them challenging things that they can channel their energies into.

[deleted account]

Quoting jacqueline:

if ignoring her doesnt work try kicking and screaming just like her .. sometimes they get confused about wat ur doing they forget wat they were doing.


This has actually worked for me when my son! he is 18months and he stareted throwing tantrums a few months ago once he noticed i was copying him he did not like it at all and one day just stopped all together!

Kathryn - posted on 01/13/2010

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I watch Supernanny a lot to see what she does. It is awesome and respectful and effective.

Sabrina - posted on 01/12/2010

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My son is almost 2 and his temper is bad. Let me know if you have any helpful advice.

Erin - posted on 01/12/2010

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Irene, how's his language? It's such a frustrating time for kids if their expressive language hasn't quite caught up with everything they want to express. If that's the case then it's a matter of waiting and encouraging him to use his words and offering lots of praise when he does. Just a thought...

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