Temper Tantrums

Kellie - posted on 09/08/2010 ( 9 moms have responded )




What are some suggestions from mothers or fathers, about temper tantrums? My 14 month old daughter throws some temper tantrums to where she arches her back, falls backwards, hits her head on the floor, just need a little extra support from others out there? Thoughts, etc...


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Tina - posted on 09/14/2010




First know- that the amount of force she uses to flail onto the floor can in no way harm her (we've done research)...You will also notice that when she falls and does hurt her head she will be more careful about lowering her noggin (which is quite comical really)

When my daughter started these shenanigans at around 14 mths I would usually just throw myself onto the floor next to her and wail and thrash..."My mommy is so mean...she feeds me, loves me, bathes me...won' let me have a second lollipop"or whatever the situation called for.

That generally does the trick.

Overall getting anxious is only going to escalate the situation. I would also calmly tell her to let me know when she is done so we can get to play.

Tantrums happen out of frustration (because your daughter is lacking words to tell you what she wants) or as a power struggle...if it is frustration because you are not understanding what she is trying to tell you pick her up and ask her what she wants Mommy to do...Stand on my head and clap with my feet? If it is a powerstruggle let her be...and then give her two choices...such as "Do you want to walk to the bathroom or do you want Mommy to carry you?" either way your mission is done and your kid feels like it was her idea!

Oh- and did I mention you are in for the great phase of selective hearing- coming right up in about 10 mths. =)

[deleted account]

We ignore them and the child has to leave the room. IF one of our girls refuses to leave the room we will remove them and they have to stay in whatever room we put them in until WE decide to open the door and let them out. If they come out on their own we march them right back in again explaining the whole way that nobody wants to hear it and they can keep it to themselves. We also remind them that since we put them there WE will be the ones to open the door and let them out. It works like a charm and typically we are tantrum free within 5 minutes. Of course mine can't leave their room unless they are frump free to.

good luck and god bless

Crystal - posted on 09/09/2010




As said before, each child is different. Typically when a kid this age throws a tantrum it is out of frustration. Most likel from having something taken away, not being able to have something in the first place or to being able to communicate what they want or need.
I think it is very important to treat our kids in a way that teaches them how to act.....I know that sounds obvious but I have seen to many mothers yank things out of their childs hands or just say 'no you can that" and move on.
I always ask my son "may I please have that" even if it is something he isnt supposed to have. You'd be surprised at how often they are willing to give it up without a fight. Where if we just yell and take it it will automatically turn into a tantrum. Sure 2 out of 5 times he throws it and runs but thats better then a melt down.
Most importantly I think it is important to acknowledge what it is that he/she is upset about and offer a alternative. Try to use short words so they dont get lost in babble and offer a alternative.
BUT those crazy tantrums do happen to every kid and I tell my son to come get me when he is ready to use his words and I walk away. I always welcome him back with open arms so his little boy pride learns to apologize, LOL


Lizzie - posted on 09/09/2010




Hi, Kellie. I agree with one of the women above all of my children were different so I had to use what worked for that child. First you have to observe to find out what is setting the child off and try to remember what they like such as a song or a favorite toy. say to them " I'm sorry you are angry, can you tell me why you are angry if the child does not respond go on to say to them well I 've got your favorite toy ,if I give it to you do you think you will feel better? bring the toy out so they can see it and then reach it out to them. this worked all the time with My daughter . You can even suggest that they tell their favorite toy why their angry. With my two sons I used lots of verbal redirection such as when they would arch their backs to fall. I would catch them and not let them act this behavior all the way out. I then would inform them that they could not throw themselves on the floor but if they were angry they could fold their arms and squeeze real hard and say I'm mad. or lay their head down. but falling out was not acceptable you may think little ones don't understand you but they do ,you have to really talk to them and model the behavior you want from them when they experience the different emotions we all experience. Happy , sad, and even mad. I wish you well , this age group is so precious enjoy these moments when she grows up you will miss them. God Bless

[deleted account]

when my daughter throws a tantrum (usually because she's playing with something she's not supposed to have or trying to get things off the table or counter that she can't have) i just ignore her. when she's done she comes up to me, most of the time still crying, and gives me a hug as if to say she's sorry. i've also tried to distract her but that doesnt help. i just have to let her be. she only does this at home though, so if your little one is throwing tantrums in public im no help because she hasnt had one outside the house or her grandparents yet.

Keeley - posted on 09/09/2010




All children are different! the best way for me and my lil boy is to leave him alone, in the past when i have interfeared or tried to distract him he got worse and i upset him EVEN MORE, after the tantrum i sit down with him and try and understand why he was upset and by then he normally he has forgot anyway, every parent goes through this and has there own way of dealing with it, all you can do is try a few different things what people have reccomended and see what suits you and your little girl xx

Dora - posted on 09/09/2010




Distraction works great. Get her mind off of the tantrum. Before you know she will completely forget that she was throwing a fit. Whenever my son tries to throw one I just do something to make him laugh and it works ever time. My son is now 2 1/2yrs old. You can also try to redirect her to due something she enjoys.

Lee - posted on 09/09/2010




Hi there, Kellie, I did some research on this very sticky and noisy issue! :) My children drove me absolutely mad with their tantrums, especially if it was in public. I got scolded by many older ladies for the way I dealt with it - but goodness I think I got so angry when they threw their tantrums. Have a look at what I wrote about this: http://parentingcenter.co.za/2009/01/26/... Please let me know if you found it helpful at all! Good luck! Lee

Lesley - posted on 09/08/2010




just try to get her attention when you see her startin a tantrum it could be with a toy or a book that way they are still gettin your attention but in a nicer and safer way it does work my grand-daughter has got a mild case of adhd n she was always having tantrums but we now distract her with what every we can and most of the time it works

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