throwing fits n the stores, can someone help me?

Cindy - posted on 05/16/2010 ( 3 moms have responded )




For a couple of weeks now my 29 mth old will throw these outrageous fits when we go shopping! I dont know how to handle this. We will b going down the isles and she sees something she wants or wants out of the cart, just anything she wants. She will start throwing this dramatic fit screaming, crying, she hits herself... screams no mommy I want my daddy, like I am abusing or hitting her. I just push her around n the cart try to sing or turn her head toward something else, because this embarrasses me so much by this time u know everyone is staring at us! What do I do to get her to stop these fits n the the stores, so I will have some peace and quiet and back to think shopping is fun..... Please someone do u have any advice???


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Ashley - posted on 05/16/2010




Hi i have 2 year old son has done the same thing even throws stuff out of my cart screams at the top of his lungs ect. For me it is impossible to leave the cart and go home as i work full time and dident have a partner till very recently. So i decided to do time out i simply give him one warning to stop and if he keeps screaming then i remove him from the cart and put him on time out in the middle of the isle. He hates it it imbereses him but it works and yes i get weird looks but i simply ignore them. its my job to raise my son and giving him the ability to stop doing something i need to get done is not an option. Any way it helped and he hasent had a tantrum in awhile. Good luck .

Julie - posted on 05/16/2010




Don't forget to take a snack/toy while you shop so she can have something to do. Maybe try to let her "help" you shop--"Should we get wagon wheel pasta or shells?", etc... Never, ever try to shop if it is close to nap/meal time or both.

My son is 24 months old and that is the only time (so far) that he has a melt down. Well, that and the 1 time I tried to let him walk ... it wasn't going well and I put him back in the cart and a fit ensued (note to self: NEVER let him walk while shopping!)

It is tough to me the mom of a hysterical child, but other parents will know what you're going through. The strangers giving dirty looks have no clue and should be ignored.

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Well ignoring her and not rewarding her behavior like you are doing is a definate good way to discourage her. She probably knows that you are bothered by her behavior so that encourages her to continue in the hopes that she will get what she wants or you suffer with her consiquences she has for you as a result. See how she is doing that, smart girl. You can continue how you are treating this situation and it should smooth out after some time. If you would like something different to try, you can start giving her firm talks before you get in the car to leave your house and then again when you get the cart. Let her know what behavior is expected of her. Use the same words you use at home, repeating simular phrases helps get toddlers to understand us better. I tell my son "No, you are not going to act like that" and tell him that he can go lay down if he wont stop (in his bed). I used to take him to the car when he was younger and that worked until he noticed he could play in the car. Back then all I had to do was ask him in a firm voice "do you want to go to the car", most of the time my basket would still be there in the store when I could come back. These days for the most part his behavior is under control, but if it ever got out of hand I would probably take him outside and wait by the car for him to calm down. He hasn't ever done the big huge fits that are hard to handle. If he did though, I would take him straight home leaving my cart of food ect at the store full or not, and put him in his bed until he could calm down. You have to maintain your "walk away power" don't let her hold imbarrisment over your head as power over you. It only takes a few times of doing that for the kids to get the messege and then you can help them learn what is expected of them in stores. Your daughter's behavior and emotional development is more important than the inconvience of having to go back to a store later on. Do what you got to do to get her under control, it wont take much if she sees a direct result for her behavior, by doing that you are taking that power over you she has with imbarrisment away from her. It wont take long before she learns it will no longer benifit her to do that in public. If you do that method be sure to react to her tantrum as soon as it starts, it's more effective that way, then they see exactly what caused them to have to leave the store. Just pick her up out of the cart and walk out leaving everything right where you were. She matters more then that cart.

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