time out?

Kimberly - posted on 10/23/2008 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I put my 2 year old in time out today and he was in there for like 30 minutes because he wouldn't say "sorry." Should I just forget about this step of time out or should I insist that he apologize for his behavior?

11 Comments

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Trina - posted on 10/27/2008

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my son went through that and it is a hard one that is for sure i did the same thing as melanie and it seemed to work just fine but just remember after 30 minutes in time out they may not remember why they were there in the first place

Cathy - posted on 10/27/2008

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does he consistently talk? I'd say it is ok to skip tht part for now as long as he understand that what he did origianlly was wrong.

[deleted account]

he might be a little too young to fully understand, but the more you do it, the more enforced it becomes and he'll come around! :)

Kimberly - posted on 10/26/2008

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Thanks for all the tips. I put him in time out because he was throwing toys around the room, even after I asked him not too. I kept going back to him every two minutes (because that's how old he is) and telling him, "I put you in time out because you were throwing toys. That is unacceptable. Tell Mommy sorry" or something like that and he just wouldn't say it. I feel like he doesn't understand what I'm asking him to do. Is he too young for this? Anyways, thanks again for all of the advice, especially Melanie and Shannon. He hasn't been put in time out since I posted this so I guess it must have worked in some way.

Laura - posted on 10/26/2008

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you should carry on with it in the end he will realise that once he says sorry that he can come of the step so the time will get shorter.

Melissa - posted on 10/25/2008

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yea you should but he prolly forgot why he was there cause he prolly forgot after two min why he was there explain to him what he did made you sad and or how he could have gotten hurt or whatever and then good ol fashion bribery not treats just tell him if you are good at the end of the week you can have a treat you can do like a little hot wheels car or something good luck!

Claire - posted on 10/25/2008

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i have a two yr old and time out has helped. i usually ask him if he is sorry and if he says yes i give him a kiss once he is out of time out. so yeah dont forget the step even if he doenst say sorry you ask him if he is sorry and tell him why he is sorry it has worked for me. hopefully it helps.

Tiffany - posted on 10/25/2008

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I don't use time out to get him to do things, i use it as a consequence for bad behaviour. after about 2 minutes, we talk and timeout is over. When we talk, i ask him 3 questions: 1) do you like timeout? 2) why did you get time out? 3) was that a good choice or a bad choice? The I close with something like this: When you make bad choices you get time out. I love you and my job is to help you learn to make good choices. So there needs to be consequences for bad choices. If you make good choices, you don't get timeout. And then I say, OK? and then i tickle him!

[deleted account]

hi! I'm also a preschool teacher and deal with this kind of thing a lot. Personally, I think time outs only help to a certain extent. Your two year old does not have the understanding of why a time out would be a beneficial consequence. (and if he did, it would only be beneficial for about two minutes. it's usually their age in minutes) I find that affirming his feelings would probably be helpful. you could say to him, "i can see that you're angry (sad, upset, etc) I would like to help you. When you are ready, lets go say sorry" It shows him that yes you do understand, but he still needs to take responsibility for his actions. Just a suggestion! :)

Melanie - posted on 10/23/2008

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My oldest (now almost 13) used to do that, and so did my youngest (almost 3)! Does he also refuse to look at your face when you are telling him that he needs to apologize? If so, the problem may be that he is ashamed of being naughty, or has trouble admitting that he was wrong. My daughter has JUST gotten to the point that she will apologize, but before she would not look at me and would bawl and cry rather than apologize. I would make sure that he knows that you won't be mad anymore after he says "sorry", and thank him when he finally says it (but yes, insist, even if it's delivered in a whisper!)

I hope this helps! When my daughter started that, I took it as a good sign, because her oldest brother was the same way, and he has been the easiest, best behaved kid, even as a nearly-teenager!!

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