Time-Out Chair

Tessa - posted on 04/25/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Has anyone had any luck with a time-out chair? My husband and I recently started the time-out chair for our toddler. When he starts throwing a fit at home, we put him in the chair and keep him there for 1-2 minutes. The problem I have with it is that he's being put there for throwing a fit, and he continues the fit the whole time. Finally, I say "ok, you can come out of that chair when you're ready to stop crying", and then I walk away. In the past, we've tried keeping him in time-out until his fit stopped, but he can go on for 45min to and hour before sometimes falling asleep. That did'nt seem to be working. I guess I'm just pretty tired of the fits. Lately, he throws fits anywhere I take him unless it's the park.

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Theresa - posted on 04/26/2009

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Time outs are tricky and I stay away from over doing it. The general rule of thumb is 1 min. for each year. I have found using words like calming your body, good listening, etc. seem to work better than talking about a time out. By praising the good behavior, once it kicks in, it reinforces when positive attention will play out. Avoiding eye contact is good since it doesn't reward the behavior. Every child is different and responds/reacts differently. I have found talking through our day/activity/excursion helps in letting my daughter know what we'll be doing/experiencing beforehand. I know a lot of people's advice varies but the general message I hear is to pick and choose your battles which means to sometimes exit when the tantrum escalates/doesn't subside in a play setting of your house or public venue. As children grow/mature I have seen other people's children manage their emotions and not get frustrated as easily. At this age, I know for myself each day varies and the more I deviate from timing or lunch or something different from a familiar routine, there's a strong chance a tantrum may occur. Having experienced a few 45 min. to an hour tantrums before nap time in past 7 days....it's truly frustrating...hang in there!!!

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Hi, we have a time out chair and have used it for sometime. My little boy is 3 and my husband and I have probably used it for a year now. My little boy will not come of the chair until he is told. If after 3 mins he is still in a tantrum I will bend down in front of him and ask him to listen to Mummy and to stop the eye water (word we use for crying). If he carries on he stays on the chair, it is hard and we have had exactly the same a 45min tantrum but it has played off. Tantrums elsewhere, yes my little boy tends to throw tantrums when we are shopping and it is hard but I ignore him and children hate to be ignored. It's horrible because everyone looks at you but I find a place where I can talk to tim, calm him down and tell him how it is making mummy feel. I find that talking and asking him to listen to mummy gets hs attention and we can sort it out. Continue to take your little boy places and if he is good reward him with the park and if he's throws a tantrum don't take him to the park and you will start to notice the difference.

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