"time out" does this really work?

Takima - posted on 12/28/2009 ( 22 moms have responded )

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i need help in getting my two year old to act right. doesn't matter where we are, if wants to throw a fit... he will. i've tried the time out, taking away privileges,diverting his attention, holding, singing ( when i'm not getting my hair pulled and my face scratched) nothing seems to work. is this just a phase?

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Brandi - posted on 12/28/2009

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I started time out with my daughter at 2 and it works really well when done right. You HAVE to give a warning about whatever behavior they are doing i.e. please sit down, this is your warning, if i have to tell you again, youll be on time out. THEN you have to follow thru EVERY TIME. If he stands again, you say "Time out" and take him to time out, sit him down and tell him "Mommy asked you to sit down and you chose not to listen, so you are on time out for 2 mins. for not listening to mommy." NEXT after 2 mins. (you may not look at or speak to him for the entire 2 mins. and if he gets up put him back with NO WORDS) you go to him and tell him, "Mommy put you on time out because you did not listen to mommy, Now tell mommy you're sorry" Make sure you get an apology, if not, he sits until he's ready to give one. After the apology, hugs and I love you. THE END. If you are consistent and ALWAYS follow ALL the steps, time out works pretty well. good luck.

Tawnya - posted on 12/28/2009

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Hello Takima,

I have a going on 4 year old...and she IS the drama/tantrum throwing queen...I really believe in separating the queen from her audience...be it time out or being taken to a quiet room to "chill out". We just did this yesterday (twice) as a matter of fact. Basically it will defuse any chance of the behavior escalating...it might take a few times for him to get the picture, but don't give up or give in! Good luck!

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Rachelle - posted on 01/22/2010

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probably the terrible twos...but time out does work if you are consistent. my hubby and i put her in time out...make her sit for the length of her age (3 minutes) and when time is up we ask her..."why are you in timeout?" once she has told us why she is there, and we explain why whatever she did is unacceptable...we ask her for a hug and let her out...this has worked for us all along. hope this helps.

Andrea - posted on 01/22/2010

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it could just be a phase or he could be needing some extra attention from mommy... try taking him to fun places such as the park or somewhere where theres birds and little animals for him to look at, such as a petting zoo or something.. because no matter what all children love to play and get dirty!!! if theres any confusion or problems at home or even personal problems with urself children can somehow sense that and tend to act out terribly.... (kindda like when u have the flu or a headache and they want nothing more then for u to get out of bed and DO EVERYTHING!!) lol also im a firm believer that if my child wants to act crazy i just ignore him... he just wants attention or for u to give him something that u have already said no to, and if u keep entertaining the issue and either 1 give in or 2 get even more frustrated, which is neither good on urs or ur childs part.. he needs to know that u are mommy and your not going to put up with it so he can sit there and cry if he wants put hes still not getting his way... now as far as in public goes, i have yet to figure that one out..

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With my 3 children ages 3, 4, and 7, it seems to work more with the 4 and 7 year olds. Lately I've also been taking away favorite toys. On one of my days off, we were suppose to go to Mr. Ghatti's for pizza and video games, but we didn't because they had up all weekend.

Michelle - posted on 12/31/2009

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I've tried it. It never worked that well for me, but my oldest son has some issues. He calms down & behaves for 5 min afterward, but then he's right back to whatever he was doing & throwing a fit again. I hope it works with my younger one when he's old enough to do this with.

Wendy - posted on 12/30/2009

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At two yrs old my son was an angel. He is now 3 and I am going through the tantrum threes x2 because he skipped the terrible two's. I use time out everywhere, I even use the corner. I will stand over top of him and make him put his nose to the wall. It was bad for awhile. Now we may have an event once a week or so.

Nichole - posted on 12/30/2009

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Our son does the same and no amount of 'punishment' worked, so we just take him to his room (if we're at home, we try to not take him in public too much at this point) and lay him on his bed and tell him he can come out when he's done. This seems to work. He just cries it out/yells it out in his room and then rejoins us

Esther - posted on 12/29/2009

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Quoting Brandi:

I started time out with my daughter at 2 and it works really well when done right. You HAVE to give a warning about whatever behavior they are doing i.e. please sit down, this is your warning, if i have to tell you again, youll be on time out. THEN you have to follow thru EVERY TIME. If he stands again, you say "Time out" and take him to time out, sit him down and tell him "Mommy asked you to sit down and you chose not to listen, so you are on time out for 2 mins. for not listening to mommy." NEXT after 2 mins. (you may not look at or speak to him for the entire 2 mins. and if he gets up put him back with NO WORDS) you go to him and tell him, "Mommy put you on time out because you did not listen to mommy, Now tell mommy you're sorry" Make sure you get an apology, if not, he sits until he's ready to give one. After the apology, hugs and I love you. THE END. If you are consistent and ALWAYS follow ALL the steps, time out works pretty well. good luck.




Quoting Brandi:

Oh I do this same routine when we are in public too. I just find a spot and stand nearby. I once had to give her a time out in a restaurant. I took her near the lobby and found a chair. sat her in it and did the whole time out routine. SHE HAS NEVER ACTED UP in a restaurant again. She was really embarrased about everyone seeing her on time out (the place was really busy that day, so there was no place to go where she would be in private)



I agree with Brandi. I think doing the time-out right is critical. She outlined it perfectly. I would add that you have to be careful not to overuse it and you have to make sure you don't get even more frustrated than your toddler while you're disciplining him. You have to remain calm and in control at all times. Also, when you put him in time-out, say on the bottom step of the stairs, don't pick a fight if he decides to sit on the floor or the second or third step either. That will just fuel the fire. Pick your battles. Unless your son actually walks away or starts climbing the stairs for real (in which case you'd pick him up and without a word put him back) ignore the behavior until the time is up. And ABSOLUTELY do it anywhere at any time. I recently gave my son a time-out in the car when he refused to sit in his car seat. I told him we can do time-outs there too and I put him in the trunk of the car with his back turned to us and made him sit there for 2 minutes. I think it was a real wake-up call for him that we can discipline him anywhere at any time if he misbehaves. Good luck!

Stacey - posted on 12/29/2009

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"that sounds like a plan but what to do if we are at an outing?"

2 yr olds cant really handle long outings, ex. shopping, (dif if ur goin to someone's house ofcourse) But I keep my trips to 20 min tops or my 2 yr old gets real antsy! And if u walk in the store and its bad from the start, just go home, its not worth the stress of trying to console, convince, or even a time-out for a tantrum gone bad! with time-outs, u just have to try a few things then stick, stick, stick with it!!

Brandi - posted on 12/28/2009

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Oh I do this same routine when we are in public too. I just find a spot and stand nearby. I once had to give her a time out in a restaurant. I took her near the lobby and found a chair. sat her in it and did the whole time out routine. SHE HAS NEVER ACTED UP in a restaurant again. She was really embarrased about everyone seeing her on time out (the place was really busy that day, so there was no place to go where she would be in private)

Wendy - posted on 12/28/2009

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the best advice I have gotten is to ignore it! easier said then done but it does work once they relize they wont get a reaction from you they stop!

Aloura - posted on 12/28/2009

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OH and leave the chair there so he see's it every time he walks into the room. It will be kinda like his warning to listen.

Aloura - posted on 12/28/2009

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for his age, yes it could be just a phase, but you need to make sure you show him that you're the one in charge. Put a chair somewhere that he can't see the tv, but he can hear it, somewhere that you can watch him well when you put him in it. You put him in Time out for 3 minutes with his hands in his lap, if he talks, wines, cries or anything while in him time out, it starts over. if need be, stand right infront of him with your hands crossed and tell him to quitely sit there or he'll be there even longer. he doesn't get down until he has spent 3 quite minutes in the time out chair. But you have to be consistant with it or it won't work. Take away all his toys, when he sits in time out quietly he gets one of his toys back. Or you can reward him with stickers or his favorite movie. only reward him when he listens to you and you don't have to fight him for it.

Arwen - posted on 12/28/2009

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My daughter pulls that, too, every now and then. At home she gets put into her room, and the door is closed. She stays till she calms down.

At the store, I ignore her. What can you do? Need to shop. I've figured out that tantrums can be stopped with an extra snake in the afternoon. Just a cheese stick or a slice of bread, and she's fine till dinner. Do the tantrums normally happen around 4 or 5?

Tiffany - posted on 12/28/2009

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i have a 4 yr old daughter who hates time outs because it takes attention away from her. All she ever says while she's in time out is, "mommy look at me." the key to any discipline is consistency. whatever you choose to use you have to stick to what you say and go through with it. that's the key. for toddlers you put them in time out for 1 min per year of age. so he would only be in time out for 2 min. if he gets out put him right back. the 2 min don't start until he stays in the spot you put him. really consistency is the entire answer. i wish you luck!!

Sarah - posted on 12/28/2009

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can u strap him in his buggy when he out that what i would do with a 2 year old lol

Takima - posted on 12/28/2009

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hmmm... that's interesting. i have not done this one before. but my son, when he is going all out is pretty unmanageable.  at times.

 



 



 



Quoting sarah:

time out dose work but it more 3 to 10 ages it works well on .
there a reson it get called the terrable twos . it the stage were your kid knows what he/she wonts but cant say it yet there speech is not good enoth so the throw a fit half the time simple walking away works as when your not giving them attshon there not getting what they wont . talking to the child or looking at the child only feeds into there fit
if u wont to time out hold your child with his/her back on your tummy and arms crossed so your not looking at them do not speek to them or make eye contact look at a wall if u have to and wate till they clam down





 

Takima - posted on 12/28/2009

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yes the abuse to the parent is quite annoying.   and they don't stop until they are satisfied.   so i need to find a designated area?  i'll try.

 



 



 



Quoting KeAiria:

I have found making my son sit on a towel where he cant see me helps. Each time he gets off i pick him up and sit him back on it, all i say is when you can asked right you can get up. I leave the towel down all the time and now i'm at the point where i can tell him to go sit on the towel or i will put him on it, and since he has that choice of doing it for himself most of the time he will go with out a fight. It took him a couple of weeks to get to that point. As far as the scratching and pulling if you find out a answer to that let me know... my sons favorit thing is two kick and bite and no matter how many time hes in time out or punished he keeps doing it.





 

Takima - posted on 12/28/2009

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that sounds like a plan but what to do if we are at an outing?

 



 



Quoting Tawnya :

Hello Takima,
I have a going on 4 year old...and she IS the drama/tantrum throwing queen...I really believe in separating the queen from her audience...be it time out or being taken to a quiet room to "chill out". We just did this yesterday (twice) as a matter of fact. Basically it will defuse any chance of the behavior escalating...it might take a few times for him to get the picture, but don't give up or give in! Good luck!





 

KeAiria - posted on 12/28/2009

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I have found making my son sit on a towel where he cant see me helps. Each time he gets off i pick him up and sit him back on it, all i say is when you can asked right you can get up. I leave the towel down all the time and now i'm at the point where i can tell him to go sit on the towel or i will put him on it, and since he has that choice of doing it for himself most of the time he will go with out a fight. It took him a couple of weeks to get to that point. As far as the scratching and pulling if you find out a answer to that let me know... my sons favorit thing is two kick and bite and no matter how many time hes in time out or punished he keeps doing it.

Sarah - posted on 12/28/2009

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time out dose work but it more 3 to 10 ages it works well on .

there a reson it get called the terrable twos . it the stage were your kid knows what he/she wonts but cant say it yet there speech is not good enoth so the throw a fit half the time simple walking away works as when your not giving them attshon there not getting what they wont . talking to the child or looking at the child only feeds into there fit

if u wont to time out hold your child with his/her back on your tummy and arms crossed so your not looking at them do not speek to them or make eye contact look at a wall if u have to and wate till they clam down

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