Toddler Mad at Daddy for going on a trip

Aicha - posted on 11/17/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hi all I need some advice my daughter is mad at her daddy he went to morocco for 1 month he left on the 10th of this month and since he has been gone she has been really mean to me pulling hair , pinching and hitting as well as biting she wakes me up every morning at 2 30 am crying for her daddy and I can't even use the bathroom without her throwing a screaming fit , I have tried calling her daddy in morocco but the phone lines they are so unreliable sometimes they work and other times they don't I have tried everything including babying her more and letting her follow me around , It is hard for me to carry her she weights 25 pounds and I am 7 and 1/2 months pregnant any help would help me thanks

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Amy - posted on 11/19/2010

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How old is she? First of all, when she hits, bites, whatever, she needs to have a special spot to have the fit. Be firm and calm and say "this behavior is NOT ok. You may stay in your room until you can control yourself." If she isn't old enough for that and has a crib or something set her in the crib and tell her no, it's not okay. You sound like when she asked for daddy, you tried to give him to her. I think instead maybe let her know, Daddy has to do this, you knew he was going to be gone and he isn't coming back until ........... That's the way it is and that's final. If daddy calls, you may talk to him. Babying her more is going to backfire. Just letting you know from experience. Then she'll try and use it to her full advantage and make your life hell. Nip it in the bud. But WHY can't I see daddy???? whaaaaaah.

ready for the most powerful words you'll ever say:

because I said so.

Life is full of frustrations. She must learn to deal with a few now because only more of them will follow in life. I also would not carry her around. Let her know it's hard to do. Give her something else to do. No, mommy can't hold you now, you may either paint or color. Which one? [i wanna hold you, mommy] no, you may either paint or color. You love your daughter. Yes,you want to see her happy, but you may be paving the way to chaos later on - which will be hard with a new baby.

Allie - posted on 11/17/2010

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I would suggest skype as well, webcams are pretty cheap now and you can get them at places like Walmart or Target. I agree with September, when my husband goes on trips (long or short) we make him crafts... since its the holiday season it should be easy and fun. Depending on how old she is you can do tons of things! Turkeys, snowmen, ornaments, cards... oh and GLITTER is oh so much fun, just save an old shoe box lid or something : ) good luck! Oh, and as for the behavior issues, don't let her push you around, you're still in charge and she has to listen to you. If not when you're husband gets back chances are the behavior will stick and every time he goes to work or the bank or a post office tantrums will be had...

Aicha - posted on 11/17/2010

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we don't have a web cam and have been taking her outside a lot more as she loves walking the huge problem is the rain it is pouring a lot of the time were we live

September - posted on 11/17/2010

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Do you have a web cam? Maybe you could set up a regular time to Skype with him so that she has some Daddy time to look forward to. If not maybe you could set some time aside to take her to do something fun once a week while Daddy is away, this will also give her something to look forward to. It could even be that you go to a craft center and make Daddy a craft or something of that sort. Good luck!

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