Two weeks of sreaming in her crib, ends up with me every night ):

Gloria - posted on 06/05/2010 ( 27 moms have responded )

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Two weeks ago Lilly, 18 months, decided to scream for what she wants.. mainly to sleep with mommy. Well she is winning! As last night I let it go almost an hour, took her out, put her back, and another 30 minuts of blood curtling screams, she won! Up stairs with mommy! Help!!!

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Allison - posted on 06/17/2010

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A doctor friend of mine said it is perfectly natural for a child to want to sleep with its parents. He said, "Why should we put the most vulnerable alone in a room when we as adults like to sleep with someone?" He congratulated me on sleeping with my children and said they'll let me know when they're ready to stop. I lay with them until they fall asleep and then I go back downstairs for the evening. I then go to my own bed (with my husband) until they call out for me (if they wake up at night). My kids are 2 1/2 and 5.

Karine - posted on 06/16/2010

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Do u think shes ready for a big bed? I know that my daughter did this too when she was in a crib, first i calmed her down, didnt pick her up and finally she was so tired and fell asleep. Then around 22 months i put her in a big bed and it made her feel special cause she was a big girl now! We still slept with her a few times until she got used to it, but less screaming and crying!! It was worth the try! Good luck.

Michelle - posted on 06/15/2010

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try sleeping with them until they fall asleep then put them in their own bed? then atleast its less screamingby now your child knows that if they scream long enough you will eventually come get them, and you dont want that!

Shannon - posted on 06/05/2010

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I know its hard to ignore but everytime you give into her u are proving that is exactly how she gets her own way. The more you give in the longer it is going to take to break. Maybe grab a pair of ear plugs. Good luck!

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Angie - posted on 06/21/2010

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I hate sleeping alone so I can't imagine why my kids would want to. We let our kids sleep in our bed until they decide it's time to move out. No one goes off to college still in the family bed. Most kids don't even go off to kindergarten. My oldest transitioned at 3 1/2 into her own room. It was easy, no tears, no crying no feelings of being left alone in a dark scary place.

Annette - posted on 06/20/2010

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You have got to be firm. It takes at least 3 nights for her to get the message. The first night she will cry forever and fall asleep exhausted. Second night, will be half the time, third there might be like 15 minutes. For a few weeks there will be whimpering but very little crying. Also, make sure that you give her a warm routine with reading a little right before bedtime. Always the same what ever you do so she knows what to expect eventually. And she also needs at least one lovey or as many as she wants. At this point my kids (21/2) sleeps with 2 loveys a bear and 2 trains. I also recommend "Healthy Sleeping Habits, Happy Baby" by Dr. Weisbluth.
Good Luck.

Tracey - posted on 06/19/2010

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If u let ur daughter sleep w/ u then she wont get out of ur bed when its time and always wants to sleep w/ parents.Im a single mom rasing a 3 y/o my daughter only sleeps w/ me when shes sick thats the only time she wants to sleep w/ me.. try a soothing bath before bed.. that works for my girl... My friends son is almost 11 and still sleeps w/ his dad.. @ 11 come on now..

Evie - posted on 06/19/2010

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I suggest not making this a battle to win or lose at all...let her sleep with you. Some little ones prefer this, some do perfectly well in their cribs. I've had both, so I know. Babies who cry it out learn they can't depend on you. That's why they finally stop crying. Your instinct is to keep her close...don't ignore it just because others are. BTW, my little co-sleeper moved to her own bed just fine. When you respond to your baby's needs you create a bond of trust that makes those transitions easier down the road.

Tiffany - posted on 06/19/2010

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There is more ad moe research that shows that the adreneline released by letting them cry is actually damaging to their development. Why not just let her sleep with you - or nearby? Human infants are vulnerable for many years, and even from an anthropological point of view they aren't prepared to be alone overnight...

Katrin Maria - posted on 06/19/2010

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We had the same problem with our oldest daughter. We went all super nanny n her ; ) heheehe That just means we did her technique, just so you don´t think we´re crazy or anything! ; D She recomends that you sit on a chair in her room after you put her to bed and the first 2 times she stands up and is screaming you say: no, good night and lay her down again. When it continues you just kepp laying her down and don´t make eye contact and most important of all, you have to stay completely calm and not give in. If you give in, the next time you try this she´ll hold out an extra hour!!!! Trust me on this one, you don´t want to see if it´s true, my girl did that and then some!!! Anyway, you do this until she realizes you´re in control and then you move the chair closer to the door and eventually outside the door. This is a process and takes anywhere from 1-2 weeks, depending on if you are able to keep to it or not but it totally works!!!!! I´m sorry I don´t know of any quick fixes but I totally recommend this tactic, it worked for us and it helps the kids realize that mum and dad are still here even though they´re not in the room.
Hope this helps : D
Good luck,
Katrín María ; D

Cynthia - posted on 06/18/2010

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My 14 month old son usualy sleeps in his crib, but somehow always ends up with us on the bed. He jumps over his crib onto the bed. The good think is that the crib is next to te bed so he won't fall onto the floor. He used to cry at night because he wanted to come to ur bed at night... now he just jumps onto ur bed himself. I don't know what to do to get him out of that habbit.

Diann - posted on 06/17/2010

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Quite honestly my almost 2 1/2 year old still sleeps in our "family bed" and that's not about to change!
Separation is terrifying for babies and I just do not understand how people do that to the smallest and most vulnerable members of their families. This isn't really about her "testing" you, this is about her not wanting to feel abandoned, it makes sense to me, all babies want their mommies near!
In our family we all go to bed at the same time now I know this won't work for everyone, but we all go to bed at around 12 or 1am (I get home from work at 11:30 or 12) and wake up together. There is nothing sweeter then waking up to the birds chirping and my little one poking me saying "Mama, time ta dit up, we need ta eat some eggs!"
I wouldn't trade that for a screaming baby and an empty bed, no thank you!

Now, is there some reason why she can't sleep with you? Medication or something that makes you sleep harder?
That would be the only reason it may be unsafe, but other then that why not? She will move into her own bed when she is ready.

Cindy - posted on 06/17/2010

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It's natural for a baby to want her Mommy near.. it's evolutionary... don't fight it! - - - unless you feel it's too much for you. As she gets older it will subside into something of a bedtime routine and you'll be able to move her after she falls asleep to her own bed or crib.

Tina - posted on 06/16/2010

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She is old enough to understand what you are saying to her- So tell her the you Love her in a loving and firm voice and explain to her that you will not be coming in her bedroom tonight. Give her a cup of water in case she gets thirsty...and let her know that you will be sooo proud of her if she manages to Sleep in her Bed all night...Big praise in the morning. You shouldn't have to repeat to often...couple of days is all it took for us...

Nichola - posted on 06/15/2010

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I would check on the child every 10 minutes but other than that, i don't give in. My 7 month old know's this aswell. I re-settle her, tuck her back in, don't prolong eye contact i avoid it as much as i can, say godnight and walk back out of the room. Only have to do it, if ever at the most 3 times. She usually just cries for a couple of minutes then gives up. Its all about who has the stronger will....you, or your child? You should try really hard not to let your child rule you. Its a bit mistake and they will learn they can gain whatever they like from you just by throwing tantrums etc. Good luck and stay strong!! We all go through it!

Carrie - posted on 06/14/2010

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I am learning just how bad of a mom I was being when I gave in to everything my son wanted. I was the kind of mom that would give into him just to not listen to hear him scream or cry. I am doing better now but he is five now and he doesn't listen or anything. I know he can be a good boy cause he has proven it. I have taken away toys and put him to bed early. He has had priviledges taken away but I don't know what to do now. It is going to take time. Take it from experience and do not give into her now. Let her cry herself to sleep.

Amanda - posted on 06/12/2010

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well i understand that that the sound of them screaming is horrific but she is doing it because she knows you are going to give in. my little one did it at about that age but by 2 he was going to bed by his self. you have to be strong. another tip is does she have a night light? or a favorite stuffed toy. my son loved caillou and he went to school. so i told my son that if he wanted to go to school he had to go to bed like a big boy does. and that i wouldn't be far just in the other room..he needed that reassurance.

Sarah - posted on 06/12/2010

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We have just gone through the whole crying to sleep thing. We just left our DD to cry. The only person she upset was herself. Her brother somehow has always managed to fall asleep and stay asleep while she did this. DD is nearly 18mo and has finally stopped screaming at bed time. Unfortunately you just have to ignore her. You know wher she is, you know she is safe so just ignore her. I know it's hard but in the long run she will learn to go to sleep on her own. Good luck.

Denise - posted on 06/07/2010

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i have the same issue my daughter wakes up after an hour of sleep, i put her back in her crib and then the same thing happens she is use to sleeping with me that she doesnt want to sleep in her crib. I would think you can put maybe classical music and a night light maybe that might help

Claire - posted on 06/07/2010

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Aw, that's a familiar scene. Time to start skipping her naps entirely or making only one short one around lunchtime. Also, maybe push bedtime back an hour. This all worked in our house. We have PJ's then half a cup of milk with blankets and they're both out!

Karen - posted on 06/07/2010

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We also weaned our little one. I laid him down with me and 8 and when he fell asleep, I put him in his crib.

I, also, agree it could be a physical thing. Check with doctor.

It could just be a phase. We have a nightlight on every night and soft music. Both all night long. The nights I forgot the nightlight, there was sure to be crying.

Good luck!!!

Sheri - posted on 06/07/2010

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It's hard but she knows that if she throws a fit you will give in..gotta be persistent and follow the same routine every night.. Benji started out crying for a hour, then the next night maybe 45 min. now when I say bed time or nap time he maybe cries for 5 min then he's asleep, and he sleeps all night long...

Fiona - posted on 06/07/2010

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Lily has not learnt to self settle. Put plenty of soft teddies in her crib so she can throw these out in her temper tantrum. When you put her to bed say your goodnights and ask her to go to sleep. If she stands up then lay her down in the crib gently and put her hand gentle on her chest for a few secs, if she tries to get up take your hand away and let her stand up,don't use your hand to force her down - then repeat laying her down, you may do this 20 times, she'll adventurely not get up at this stage put your hand on her chest or back until she falls aslep. It may seem like you are aiding her to sleep at first but over 2 or 3 nights continue to do the same thing, but do not give in. This advice is from "Save our sleep" book by Tizzie Hall. I highly recommend the book. i've read it about 20 times and know most chapters off by heart. Imogen my 21month has done everything to the book - the title is so correct. I've just put Imogen into a single bed at 21 months old and she puts herself to bed (I have just try another tip from a friend who saw a sleepnanny and Imogen is doing everything that she said) It's great, best of luck and spend the $35AUD and buy the book

Juliet - posted on 06/05/2010

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my first daughter was a terrible sleeper due to silent reflux. She ended up in my bed most nights for the first three years of her life. I made sure that she started in her bed each night and then let her come to mine sometime in the night so that we could all get some sleep. Dont beat yourself up about it! She is now 4 and sleeps perfectly happily in her own bed for 12 to 13 hours without waking up. It may feel like you are never going to get her out of your bed, but everything is a phase and it will pass. If she is used to starting in her bed, she will slowly wake up less and less until she is sleeping the whole night in her bed. there is so much pressure on moms to do what the experts say - toss the books about sleep issues and follow your excellent god-given maternal instincts and you will all be happier, more relaxed and baby will feel secure. Good luck!

Shannon - posted on 06/05/2010

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I know its hard to ignore but everytime you give into her u are proving that is exactly how she gets her own way. The more you give in the longer it is going to take to break. Maybe grab a pair of ear plugs. Good luck!

Zoe - posted on 06/05/2010

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My 18 month old is like that what we find that if we get him to sleep downstairs lay him on the setee till we go to bed then put him in his own bed he stays asleep till 6 ish in the mornin it's just a case of finding what works.

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