Violence in a 19 month old??

Tarsha - posted on 12/27/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My son is 19 months old and hes being really violent when he doesnt get his own way ... He will pull hair, punch slap and if he cant use his hands then he head butts ... I dont know how to control this anymore ... I keep trying the time out and the smack bum slightly but it doesnt seem to work ... any suggestions ???

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Dora - posted on 12/28/2010

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I have suggested this before to other moms as it seems to work. Try redirecting him into doing something he isn't allowed to doing something you approve of and you know he will enjoy. For example, if he is misbehaving start getting him to do something he likes. While he is doing the thing he likes let him know what he was doing was not nice. This method actually teaches them what is and what is not acceptable in a visual and physical manner instead of just verbalizing it to them. Also give him choices between 2 things you are ok with and that you know he will like. For example if he gives you a hard time with getting dressed, show him 2 outfits and let him choose which one he can wear. This will help teach him with decision making and make him feel like he has some independents. And always talk to him about what is right and wrong under your roof and what is expected. Even if he doesn't understand at first eventually he will learn. I have been using both methods with my son since he started to walk. He is now 2 1/2 years old and actually understands what he is allowed to do and what I disapprove of. It doesn't mean he always listens he is still only a toddler so it is expected. But it did get rid of the tantrums and now he tries to convince me on why i should agree with him LOL! Also because I always allowed him to choose between things, he now likes to try to do things on his own. One big thing that I learned from several of my friends is to choose your battles. Somethings are not worth arguing over.

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My 3rd daughter tried that for about 2 or 3 weeks. When none of what I did worked I actually ended up just putting her in her crib. There was no way that she could knock it over, get out or hurt herself. I took everything out of the crib except the mattress, sheet, and bumper. told her what she did wrong and left the room. Every 2 minutes I would come back in and explain what she did wrong and if she wanted to come out she was going to have to stop acting like a bad girl and be a good girl like mommy and her sisters.

hope this helps, works, or gives ideas. good luck, and god bless

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