We are working on potty training with my son. He knows what he is supposed to do but he flat out refuses. What should I do?

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Rebecca - posted on 03/03/2009

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If he doesn't want to do it I wouldn't turn it into a battle at this point.  Most kids won't do anything until they are ready and fighting with them about it just makes everyone miserable.  If you are going to be home all day try putting him in underwear (plastic pants over the top help control the mess).  If he is able to dress/undress himself have him help remove his wet pants when he has an accident.  Don't make a big deal about accidents and lots of praise if he does use the potty.  I potty-trained lots of 2 year olds when I worked at day care and this seemed to be the most effective method.  Give it a couple days and if he still doesn't want to use the potty drop it for awhile and try again in a couple weeks.  Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2009

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I have just started using the new pampers pull ups feel and learn for potty training they have a liner inside which is designed for the child to feel the wet but does the same as a normal nappy its saves on using regular underwear and lots of washing!!! My son is 2 yrs 3mnths and only uses the toilet when he wants to but with these feel and learn nappies he knows when hes wet.

Jess - posted on 03/03/2009

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I have a similar situation with my 2 1/2 year old son. He likes to go potty on the big potty when we are doing bath time, but outside that when I ask if he has to go he will always say no. My mother-in-law gave me the advice of just switching and having him wear regular underware with the plastic pants over it. She said that he will not like getting wet all the time and start letting you know when he has to go. This is what she did with my husband and aparently he was potty trained by 20 months.

Lacielyn - posted on 03/03/2009

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My son is going to be 3 in July, we are having the same problem. At daycare he will readily put on pull-ups and use the potty...at home forget about it. It may have to do with his sister that is 4 months old. When at home, he stops, looks at me and tells me, "pee on me mommy" It is very frustrating because I know he can do it he just refuses to do it. I want to just put him underwear and let him go. I know after going once or twice in his pants..he'll use the potty. But...I don't think that's the right technique!? So I've just been asking him if he needs to go and letting him say no. What else is there right now?

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My 26mo. son refuses, so we still do diapers. But, I have heard it's often a better approach to say, come on, we're going to the bathroom now, anytime you have to go. Not ask them if they need or want to go... then you're giving them a choice and they can say no. Now, they may still say no, like my son, but maybe not.
You really don't want it to come to a battle of wills or there could be real issues later in life. Have to be careful using "tricks" too. Example...
My grandma would put my dads hand under running water to make him feel like he had to go pee. Now, at 54yrs if he hears running water, sometimes even while filling the gas tank, he has to go to the bathroom. Not a good thing at all.
It takes time and patience and I have read avg for boys is 3yrs.

Stephanie - posted on 03/02/2009

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I've been working with my son for about a week now. It's only been the last 3 days that he would even sit on the potty. We used bribery-got his favorite candy and told him that every time he sits on the potty and goes, then he gets a piece of candy and gets to put a sticker on his potty chart. He's gone 3 times, only pee, he will not poop unless he has a pull-up on. He's had lots of accidents in his pull-ups, but he wants to sit on the potty and go, so we let him. We don't force him, and we don't make a big deal out of accidents. We celebrate when he goes, and hopefully, he'll get the hang of it eventually. I try to get him to go first thing in the morning, before and after naps, before bedtime, and before we leave the house. If he does, great, if he doesn't, then that's ok, too. I've been told that potty training boys is a lot tougher than girls and that we need plenty of patience. Hang in there!

Sarah - posted on 03/02/2009

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Im doing the same with my little boy i,ll keep asking him sometimes he goes on the toilet but other times you cant get him near it, so we dont make an issue out of it. Ive been told boys are very very lazy and they,ll let you know when there ready!!!

Erin Ryan - posted on 03/01/2009

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My oldest son did the same thing. We would always ask, but if he refused we just dropped it. I think it is better to let them tell you when they are ready. Once he was fully ready he was fully potty trained in 2 days. I just say to always ask them if they have to go potty and if they want to then great. If not and they get upset, then they aren't fully ready. Hang in there!

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