What Have I created??

Kristi - posted on 08/15/2009 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I have 3 kids. My youngest is 3, Gage. He is deffinetley my last one, so I think that I may have let him get away with more than the other 2. Every milestone for me has been so sad to see past because I know that I am never going to expierience it again. But!!! I have created a monster in my son. He doesn't listen to anything he is told, and everything is a game to him. Time out is a joke. I need advice on getting some control back before it is too late,,,,or is it already too late?

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You are the parent - of course you are in control. Just assert it. Start by making family rules. Each rule should be no longer than 1 sentance (and if you can keep it 5 or fewer words even better) and I would reccomend the fewer rules the better. Go over all of these rules with ALL of your children. Post them on a poster someplace obvious (like the kitchen or their bedroom). I sometimes don't call them Rules - but Expectations instead. An example of a "rule" would be: "Always speak respectfully to others"



Then what is the punishment for breaking the rules? Don't make this complcated. simple is best - same as the rules. ex: "Quiet Time Out on Blue Chair" General rule - 1 minute time out per age in years. Finally you need rewards for doing well, such as being rescpectful all week (aka no talking back, hitting etc.) "30 Minutes Computer Time".



Spell everything out - remember, concise and clarity! Put it on Posters. If you can think of a picture to represent each rule, punishment and reward that is even better! Discuss each item with your kids so they understand (You can even use them to help you set what the punishments and rewards can be! Taking ownership makes it work even better!)



Finally - and most importantly - You have to be vigilant. ALWAYS stick to your guns. This will be difficult - especially in the begining. Favor no child over another! This will be harder on you than on your children - and so the temptation to give in will be great. It will bring tears to your eyes, test every will power you have, be inconveiant and difficult. And it won't last - they will learn quickly that the "new" mom means business. If you slip - and let them bend the rules, the longer this phase will last.



Good Luck!

Lauramarie - posted on 08/21/2009

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Hello Kristi, I too have 3 children, and my middle child just turned 2. It sounds like little Gage and My Kayte have a lot in common. What i have started doing is walking her over to the wall and making her stand with her hands on the wall in-front of her. I tell her to watch her hands and I count to 15. I stand behind her the whole time just in case she try's to run off. If she does not look at her hands the 15 seconds then we start over. So far it works and now she does in on her own and we count to 30. I hope this might help, best of luck!

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User - posted on 08/21/2009

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Hi Kristi, I have no idea if this is a dreadful idea or not but when my son refused Time Out, I forced it on him. I locked him in our Guest Toilet (in the hope that there was at least a bit less for him to break in rage than anywhere else). Once he realised he had the choice between taking Time Out of his own accord and having it forced on him, he started going peacefully. Good luck.

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