What should I do if my three yr.old won't have a bowl movement on the toilet?

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Claudia - posted on 03/14/2009

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I thought I was the only one experiencing this until I started to read posts about it everywhere so I hope my story gives you hope.   My son was the same way until just this weekend he did his first BM in the toilet all by himself and has been consistent this whole weekend!!  YEAH  Well I took advice from another mom on this forum.

Here goes:
Step 1 - allow him to go bm in a pull-up but he must be in the bathroom (not in the closet, not in his toy room, etc.) They key is he must be in the bathroom
Step 2 - allow him to go bm in a pull-up but he must be sitting on the toilet. (I took it a step further and had him stand up and I would take his pull-up off and drop the bm into the toilet and did all the clean-up in the bathroom and changed him back into his underwear.
Step 3 - cut a whole in the pull ups and while he is wearing them and sitting on the toilet the bm will fall directly into the toilet. This is the first step in recognizing he is going bm in the toilet.

My son didn't even get to step 3... We were in step 1 for about a month,, then the consistency of doing step 2 for almost a month was enough until just this weekend (praise God) he just said, "I can do it in the toilet all by myself, I'm a big boy and I don't need diapers anymore!!" So I'm hoping my story gives you hope that there will be a day for you and everyone out there experiencing this dilema. 

[deleted account]

My niece refused to go to the bathroom and was not constipated either but I think she might have been a little older but my sister told her that if she didn't go that she would have to go to the doctor....so she finally started going(cause she didn't like the doctor's office)....but I would talk to your pediatrician about it.

Chrisandra - posted on 03/12/2009

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I am having the same problem with my 3 yr old son. I thought since his twin sister was going in the toilet, he would. No. So we got them potty seats- he still doesn't want to poop. I asked the doctor. Because my son actually won't go for days, almost a week we give him PLUM juice. It's like prune juice just tastes better and is not as harsh. the upside is it makes him go. You might want to try it. It's natural and healthy, so no worries about hurting him. Anyway what I'm saying is if he HAS to go you may be able to get him on the toilet and he won't be thinking about that, he'll be thinking about getting it out.



I hope this helps and I could use any advice about this issue as well.

Andrea - posted on 03/12/2009

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I'm going thru the same thing with my 3yr old son. I asked my peditrician about it and he said that eventually he'll go in the potty. I was thinking, gee thanks, but I guess there's not much you can do. I do give my son prunce juice too. I'll be glad when this phase passes.

Trudi - posted on 03/11/2009

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We have been going through this very drama! 3 year old would hold onto poo for 11 days, VERY painful.  We gave him a liquid called Lactulose, it is a raw, pure , but natural sugar syrup you get from the doctor. We would give him the prescribed dose and it makes the bowel movement loose. We also used coloxyl drops in conjuction with this, as it makes the bowel work whether it wants too or not , so he had to go.  After about 3 weeks of this combines with Licorice (we were desperate), kiwifruit, oranges etc (not bananas or dairy products) he realised that it didn't hurt to go, and is doing much better now (this was about 3 months ago). Also check with your doctor that your child doesn't have a fissure (a small tear in the anal passage) these are incredibly painful, but very common apparently. Hope this helps good luck, I feel for you so much I hpe he isn't in the pain that my child was.  Try to relax though, the more you push and ask if he needs to go, the more he will refuse. Perhaps, like we did you could try a lolly or candy for each successful toilet poo, this also wrked a treat, and I'd rather wean him off that later, than have toilet trouble

Glenda - posted on 03/10/2009

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My 3 1/2 year old son won't poop on the toilet either. I don't really know what the answer is, but if you find something that works, please let me know. I'm sorry that I don't have an answer, but I just wanted you to know that you're not the only one dealing with this.

[deleted account]

My son is the same he has been out of diapers during the day for almost 3 months but has only pooped on the toilet once and that's only because I got him out of the bath super quick. He normally poops in his diaper right after his nap if not we have almost an hour of running to the toilet with him everytime he gets the urge for him to change his mind when we get there. This normally results in an accident and we clean it up together and put it in the toilet. I bought him the book everybody poops and give him 2oz of prune juice in the morning so he can't hold it as much otherwise he holds it in until it's painful to pass.



Good Luck

[deleted account]

My son is the same he has been out of diapers during the day for almost 3 months but has only pooped on the toilet once and that's only because I got him out of the bath super quick. He normally poops in his diaper right after his nap if not we have almost an hour of running to the toilet with him everytime he gets the urge for him to change his mind when we get there. This normally results in an accident and we clean it up together and put it in the toilet. I bought him the book everybody poops and give him 2oz of prune juice in the morning so he can't hold it as much otherwise he holds it in until it's painful to pass.



Good Luck

Lisa - posted on 03/10/2009

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I haven't actually experienced it myself but i have heard it's a very common problem (not a great help to you I know but just want you to know you're doing nothing wrong). I was told by a health visitor that when they're that young it can feel very strange and scary as if they're losing apart of themselves so it does tend to be a 'time & confidence issue'. Hope it sorts out for you soon. :o)

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