What to do when your 14 mnth old wont stop hitting you?

Jennifer - posted on 10/01/2009 ( 16 moms have responded )

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My 14 month old daughter likes to slap me in the face and laughs when I say owe...She likes to pinch to...Does anyone else have this problem..And what do you do to deal with it?

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Crystal - posted on 10/06/2009

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Remember at 14 months or 19 months that children have trouble expressing their emotions. It is frustrating for them, they can talk but can't say everything they need to I try to teach emotions are you angry? Are you sad? Try and get them to voice their problem is the only other solution I have found.

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Peggy - posted on 05/06/2011

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okay so both my kids have done this, my 17 month old is going through it right now. I started out popping both their hands and telling them no. they understand no. my daughter stopped and went on to pulling hair and biting... my son has now gone to pulling hair when he gets mad... once the hand pop and no stopped working, i would hit them back (very gently enough to make them look at me funny) or pull their hair or bite back. I finally got my daughter out of her biting stage at like 3. she bit another little girl and left a full mouth bruise of teeth on her arm. then i let the other little girl bite her back.... she hasn't done it since. my son doesn't really hit unless i'm not paying attention to him now. otherwise he has start pulling hair.... i hope this helps. both my grandmother's helped me when I had this problem and their advice has seemed to work.



In addition, they don't realize it hurts. So when you do it back to them they start getting the idea that it hurts and they stop. I know many moms that do this and break their kids quickly. Sometimes, no matter the age, a kid has to learn the hard way. No won't always work. They have to find out for themselves.

Laurie - posted on 05/05/2011

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Depends why she is hitting but it sounds like she likes your reaction - thinks it is funny. I would tell her that Mummy doesn't play with little girls that hit and go do something else for a few minutes. She should very quickly get the idea that hitting drives people away and then she will have no one to play with and stop doing it.

Kelli - posted on 10/06/2009

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My son would do that around that age, you need to act extremely firm when you discipline her. She is old enough to understand you so she's old enough to go in time-out. Taking away things lasted only a brief moment with my son, as he could climb to get back what he wanted. So my best advice to you would be to set her on a stair or in her room and tell her why she is in time-out and if she screams or throws a fit, leave her there and don't take her out until she calms down. Best of luck

Crystal - posted on 10/06/2009

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My son is 19 months and does this a lot when he does not get his way, this is normal. I grab his hand and say no that hurts mommy, please do not hurt me. Lately though he seems to do it as a means to start playing with you like it will get your attention (even though I am holding him) and he thinks it is funny. I do not know what to do either other than to continue the pattern of saying no please do not hit mommy it hurts. I did see my MIL gently tap his hand and say no which I think only teaches hitting but how do I say that to her. Let me know if you find a cure.

Chris - posted on 10/05/2009

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My daughter did this and I just put her down and ignored her. Then after a minute I'd pick her up and show her the right way to touch. She stopped until she went to preschool then started again. I put her down and said NO. We seldom have that problem anymore.
Since she is three now I can tell her "Hands are for... Hands are NOT for hitting, pinching" and she seems to follow that better. Kids are easier to break of bad habits if they are replaced with a positive one (or easier than just taking the habit away!) in my experience.

Magda - posted on 10/04/2009

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Quoting Lisa:

Where did she learn how to hit or slap??? You need to get this to stop immediately. You have to punish her. Either take away a toy or send her to her room. Do something. I don't understand why she would do it unless she sees someone else doing it in the first place. Don't use 'owe' since she laughs at it. Best of luck.


Wait, what? Punish a 14 month old? she would never understand at this point. take something form her? what would that do? Hiiting for a 14 month old is a game because they get a reaction out of it. If she ignores it, and walks away from it with a stern I dont like that the baby will get it and it wont be a game anymore. But really punish a 14 month old? Send a baby to her room? alone? thats totally inappropriete for the age right now!

Magda - posted on 10/04/2009

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Ignore it, walk away from it. The baby will stop if she doesnt like the result! You cant punish a 14 month old, they wont understand. If she doesnt like that mommy just says "i dont like that" and walks away and ignores the laughing she will not continue.

Katie - posted on 10/02/2009

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when i my son hits. we tell him thats not nice and put him in time out for a minute and if he is still crying he sits there until he stops crying and then he can get down.

Toni - posted on 10/02/2009

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yes ive gt that promble as well my 3, 4, and 5 yr olds all do that and the best way ive found 2 deal with it is 2 put thm on the naughty chair 4 how long there ages r and thn if thy keep doing it the nxt tym is 2 put thm in there rooms and its working g8 thy fink b4 thy hit me again lol

Jessica - posted on 10/01/2009

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my daughter is 14 months old and when she gets excited and slaps me in the face i grab her hand and i gently stroke my cheek and i say be nice.. do that every time your child hits you. Now when i say be nice she will pet my face hair what ever she can touch, being gentle

Ginger - posted on 10/01/2009

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I have not had the hitting mom issue, but I have a little one that is 22 months old and she has known what tiime ou has been for almot 7 months. She is put there at times when she chooses to say no to me or for anything bad. I belive if the child knows you wont put up with it and timeout is the place to go for the crime....put your foot down and don't let up till they realize mom or dad will not tolerate the bad stuff. Your lil girl will learn, and respect you for it.

Jennifer - posted on 10/01/2009

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Well Lisa...I never taught her to slap...way to make me feel like a bad mother lol



Thank you for the advice Niki and Kristen, I will definitley try your ideas, you were very helpful :)

Kristen - posted on 10/01/2009

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I agree, with you Niki. Everyone has aggression, it's a normal human emotion. We have just been taught to control it or express it in healthy ways. Kids have to be taught that. And most importantly, taught the consequences if they do hit, like they could get hit back or put in time out. Just be patient. The most important thing I learned when going through this same thing is to not take it personally or react to it with anger.

Nicola - posted on 10/01/2009

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My boy went through this stage and so did my cousins little girl, it doesnt mean she's picked it up from anywhere Lisa, some kids just have that reaction to slap I know alot of kids who went through this stage and few have been smacked. My boy also went through a bitting stage. I got my boy to stop by a few methods. One was to tell him firmly that it wasnt nice and that if he done it to other kids they'd hit him back, I'd also shout loud owe and would pretend to cry and then ignore him for a bit and told him he hurt mummy so he better sit there an think about what he's done.(worked for me) Now he goes in the naughty corner, seems to work. she may grow out of it. try the loud owe and explain it hurts an that you want her to think about what she'd done and walk away and ignore her for a bit. If that dont work try the naughty corner or the taking the toys away.

Good luck an i hope she'll grow out of it.

Ohh and the pinching, I pinched my boy back, not hard but hard enough so he knew how it felt. He's nearly 2 now and does neither.

[deleted account]

Where did she learn how to hit or slap??? You need to get this to stop immediately. You have to punish her. Either take away a toy or send her to her room. Do something. I don't understand why she would do it unless she sees someone else doing it in the first place. Don't use 'owe' since she laughs at it. Best of luck.

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