what to say to a dr that just called your son malnurished?

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

okay so my son who just turned 3 has always been in the low percentile he take after me when i was a child and he never took to the formula well or milk even so he was put on pedisure by his dr which he loves and drinks it alot so at his 3 yr i was told that she wanted to send him to a specialist to make sure there wasnt anything wrong with him cause he only weighs 20 lbs and is 34 1/2 inches tall so i said okay only cause she has been hounding me to do this since his 2 yr. so i took him to this gastro dr and he had the gaull to say my son was malnurished so instead of telling me how to get my son to eat more they gave me a antihistamine that he takes twice a day that is supposed to give him an appetite it has worked a little but he is still picky and having him say that to me made me feel like i am doing something wrong but my other 3 kids are all in the 90th percentile or higher so i dont understand why he is tiny except for the fact that i am i am only 4 ft 10 so i dont expect to have 6 ft children! ugh.. it is so frustrating i have to go back to this dr next month and really want to cancel but i am afraid if i do they may report me as an unfit parent or something! ugh.. any advice on how to deal with this dr would be great!

6 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

You are not a bad mum for the fact you are trying to do something about it. Honestly I would take my son back to see the doctor but not for his help....but for a referal to see a nutritionist. They will be able to help you. It is quite possible that your son is just meant to be small but if not, the nutritionist will be able to recommend what is the appropriate treatment for your son. If you are ever not happy with a doctor, do not feel obliged to keep seeing him.....it is within your rights to seek advice from an alternative doctor or specialist. You have 3 other healthy children so you are certainly not a mother that neglects her kids so do not let the opinion or treatment from one rude doctor upset you. Good luck with your little one. :-) from Mel in Perth Australia



 

Jeannine - posted on 02/26/2009

13

18

0

Although I agree that I'm sure the Dr is doing what he thinks is best...you are the mom and you know your child.  If he's healthy and happy...it's not up to some dr he just met to say that he needs to eat more.  So you are supposed to make him eat unhealthy snack food all day just so the dr feels more comfortable?  If he's healthy then dont' worry about it...you are the mom and if there was something wrong with him, you would know.  I don't believe Dr's know everything. 

Suzannah - posted on 02/25/2009

54

9

7

I'm glad he's eating better! Good idea using the treats as rewards for eating - getting even more calories in him! I hope it continues to go well.

[deleted account]

thanks ladies! i think i was more stunned he actually said that! i know i am a good mom i have 3 other children and all my children are happy and healthy but he just was always the one that would rather eat a peice of chocolate or nothing at all so i am doing as the dr says and giving him the med and so far it is getting him to eat more but i am still doing the bribary of if you eat all that you can have a snack which i try to give him a high fat one like icecream which he loves! so we shall see how much if any weight he has gained when we go back on the 2nd! again thanks ladies i needed the words of encouragement that everyone else was also telling me it just took me a while to get around that comment from the dr.!

Heidi - posted on 02/23/2009

3

9

0

I would maybe try a second opinion with a different gastro Dr., you really need a specialist that you like. Dr. are people too and not all personalities work together find a Dr. that has a personality that works with yours. Good luck with your son and I hope all is well with him.

Suzannah - posted on 02/23/2009

54

9

7

Sometimes doctors aren't very good at explaining why they think something is a problem or why they think a certain treatment is necessary. You and the pediatrician agreed that it was worth going to the gastroenterologist to make sure your child is healthy, but then once you got there you felt like the doctor was suggesting that you are a poor mother - that must have been really awful. The funny thing is, by prescribing antihistamines the doctor is really sort of saying that he knows there really isn't anything more a person could do to get this child to eat - he must know that you are a loving mom who has tried to get her child to eat healthy food. He wants to stimulate your son's appetite with the medication, because no one will eat if they are not hungry. It's really just that your little guy needs some medicine to get his system jump-started so he can get all the food he needs. I'm sorry the doctor was gruff and I hope your son gets something out of the treatment.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms