When did you talk to your children about where people are not allowed to touch them?

5 Comments

View replies by

Robin - posted on 11/13/2009

6

20

0

as soon as they can understand what you are telling them .. you are the best person to know this..and tell them when they are starting school also this just reinforces what you have been saying all along..do not forget about strangers

Diana - posted on 11/13/2009

18

19

1

As soon as they can understand! My older boys both know that their privates are for them and no one else right now and that they'll share them with their wives-when they are married. You have to hit that 'when they're grown up and married part hard, because at five they think they're going to marry the first cute boy/girl who walks in the classroom.

Mine also know that they are not to kick or hit anyone there and that they don't try to touch each other's when they are in the tub. They also know to tell us if anyone else tries to touch them there (even if it's one of their little friends), because from what I've read, most children are merely curious to SEE. Touching or trying to touch can often mean that the child has been 'pre-sexualized.' That could come from anything from walking in on parents (or older siblings with their bf/gf) or seeing something on TV they're not supposed to, to abuse.

I realized yesterday during a routine physical for my five year old, though that I'd forgotten to include doctors in the list of okay people. He looked a little startled when the doctor asked to see his penis, but I quickly reassured him and he was fine.

They also both understand that adults-including Mom and Dad should not touch them unless they have hurt themselves there and they WANT us to check it. My kids pretty much wash themselves anyway, so the bath isn't a big issue. If they need or want help they ask.

One thing that is important to teach your kids from an early age is that if ANY adult touches them in ANY way that makes them feel uncomfortable-even if it's not 'down there,' they need to ask them to stop-politely-and they need to tell you about it. Kids have amazing intuition and can sense when a seemingly benign touch might not be so innocent. They feel the same tensions that we feel as adults when another adult is attracted to us and accidentally-on-purpose touches us. They just don't realize what that touch means, just that it feels funny and makes them squirmy. We all remember some adult from our childhood that made us 'feel funny inside' when they were around. If we teach our kids to listen to that instinct, they'll be safer.

If you're a woman who prays, also ask God for wisdom and discernment.

Good luck!

Trudy - posted on 11/13/2009

3

15

0

as soon as my children wer albe to walk n talk iv installed it in them that it's ther special palece n no bodys alowed to touch them ther not even MUM IN when it comes to bathing i dont even wash my children as soon as theyv been albe to iv let them wash n told them the reason y im not...u should allways be open n honest with your children about touching as even the people that children r meant to trust cant be trusted....

Kortnee - posted on 11/12/2009

2

11

0

iv told my daughter everyday since she started understanding what i was sayin that that was her private part and that no one she touch her "who who" unless its me im the only one who changes her diaper if you tell em over and over again then it becomes something that they just no and dont have to think about

Shannon - posted on 11/12/2009

146

7

20

as soon as possible! like... age 18 months to 2 would be a good age for children to understand. Tell them that if someone is changing their diaper, they should wipe them clean and put a clean diaper on (don't forget about diaper rash ointment tho) & tell them that they are private parts and only Mommy, Daddy and doctors should touch them (or trusted adults) It will be a little more difficult if your child is in day care. I'm not sure what to tell them if they are

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms